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Devastated

Posted by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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I'm feeling just completely devastated right now back in April I had a miscarriage but I hadn't had any trouble with my first child so I wrote it off (as best as I could) as "just one of those things" I was eager to try again first because I wanted another baby and second because succeeding for me would help heal the loss well we started trying again and didn't have a clue I was pregnant started having pain I thought it might be my appendix we went to the ER and found out we were pregnant... It was ectopic and that my tube had burst I had 1.5 liters of blood in my belly and was rushed into surgery where they removed part of my tube that was two days ago and it's finally sinking in and I'm balling it just really sucks I'm scared to even think of trying again I'm so crushed losing one baby was bad enough but now iv lost two and I'm scared of the ectopic happening again or another scary thought never getting pregnant again at all I just wanna curl up and disappear it hurts so bad!
by on Jul. 31, 2013 at 12:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hotelpro
by New Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 8:45 PM
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Dear Devastated, I know right now it doesn't seem like it will get better but it does slowly fade, the hurt will never go away but it will subside. I can relate because I have two children 11 and 14 and I am in a new marriage and badly want a baby but I had two ectopics, the most recent three weeks ago. The first one ruptured in 2009 and I had internal, they saved my tubes though so I was hopeful when I got pregnant in Aug however after doing weekly blood tests and carefully planning the ultrasound at 7 weeks I still ended up with another ectopic which they had to remove but yet again my tubes are saved. I am afraid to conceive again but I want a baby so badly that if I have to end up in surgery five times to have one live baby at the end it will be worth it. Hang in there, if you want to chat inbox me..
MrsSumner3
by Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 3:09 PM
Thanks it's been a few months now and I'm starting to feel better (slowly) for a while there I was just really down didn't wanna get up and do anything (was probably depressed to be honest) but I'm starting to feel better now we have just started trying again and I'm hopeful but at this point pretty scared my doctor says it was just bad timing/luck and there isn't any reason we can't have another baby so hopefully she's right at this point I almost feel like I desperately NEED another child to be whole...idk if that makes any sense

So for now I'm nervous but hopeful they say third times the charm right :/
Hotelpro
by New Member on Oct. 24, 2013 at 2:25 PM

Dear Mrs. Summer3

I made it to my follow up after surgery and thankfully at 8.45 there were no pregnant ladies there, only a couple of older ladies.  I did end up crying when the doctor left the room to get the OR report because of all the baby posters there.

The great news is he wants me to start trying asap, the bad news is I am now at 30% chance of having another ectopic and his consolation was at least I have been identified as high risk so flags go up as soon.  I know the depressing feeling and I know I have it slightly because I don't want to talk on the phone or go anywhere or do anything, I totally understand the needing another child to feel whole because that is exactly how I feel.  I have had two ectopics, one ruptured and one had to be removed but I badly want a baby.  ttc

MrsSumner3
by Member on Oct. 25, 2013 at 2:06 PM
There were expectant moms at my follow up and some of them were huddled together looking at ultrasounds I couldn't help but feel really jealous I don't want anything to go wrong for them of course I pray everything works out well but I want that too and it was so hard seeing that then :( there's a pregnant girl at my church seems like we would have been due about the same time and it's so hard to be around her I always feel like crying :( my doctor also said we would monitor extra closely now because of the ectopic thing don't wanna lose both my tubes if it can be helped we recently started trying again and I'm sooo very hopeful but trying not to be at the same time just in case you know? I think when we do get pregnant again it's going to take a while for me to stop waiting for something o go wrong I just really really want another baby and it doesn't help now my little two year old daughter keeps asking for the babies on Sesame Street (you know the ones that Elmo talks to she wants them reaches and pouts and says "baby mine?!" She would make such an awesome big sister)


Quoting Hotelpro:

Dear Mrs. Summer3

I made it to my follow up after surgery and thankfully at 8.45 there were no pregnant ladies there, only a couple of older ladies.  I did end up crying when the doctor left the room to get the OR report because of all the baby posters there.

The great news is he wants me to start trying asap, the bad news is I am now at 30% chance of having another ectopic and his consolation was at least I have been identified as high risk so flags go up as soon.  I know the depressing feeling and I know I have it slightly because I don't want to talk on the phone or go anywhere or do anything, I totally understand the needing another child to feel whole because that is exactly how I feel.  I have had two ectopics, one ruptured and one had to be removed but I badly want a baby.  ttc


MrsSumner3
by Member on Nov. 9, 2013 at 1:18 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm so excited I'm shaking! I just took a pregnancy test and I'm pregnant!!!!! Yay!!!! I just hope and pray everything works out and I get to keep this little one I'm sooooooo tired of losing my babies!


Quoting Hotelpro:

Dear Mrs. Summer3

I made it to my follow up after surgery and thankfully at 8.45 there were no pregnant ladies there, only a couple of older ladies.  I did end up crying when the doctor left the room to get the OR report because of all the baby posters there.

The great news is he wants me to start trying asap, the bad news is I am now at 30% chance of having another ectopic and his consolation was at least I have been identified as high risk so flags go up as soon.  I know the depressing feeling and I know I have it slightly because I don't want to talk on the phone or go anywhere or do anything, I totally understand the needing another child to feel whole because that is exactly how I feel.  I have had two ectopics, one ruptured and one had to be removed but I badly want a baby.  ttc


Tressa1
by on Nov. 9, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Yay!!! Praying for you!! Updates please!! I'm a week post op and I'm dying to talk to my doc to get a plan in place to ttc again! It's great to finally come across a lady that has conceived after this.
MrsSumner3
by Member on Nov. 10, 2013 at 8:24 AM
Thanks I will definitely update I'm so excited (trying not to be after everything that's happened but just can't help it)

I'm sorry about yours :( it sucks to have to go through that

Thanks for your prayers I will pray for you as well


Quoting Tressa1:

Yay!!! Praying for you!! Updates please!! I'm a week post op and I'm dying to talk to my doc to get a plan in place to ttc again! It's great to finally come across a lady that has conceived after this.

Tressa1
by on Nov. 10, 2013 at 10:19 AM
Thank you!

Quoting MrsSumner3:

Thanks I will definitely update I'm so excited (trying not to be after everything that's happened but just can't help it)



I'm sorry about yours :( it sucks to have to go through that



Thanks for your prayers I will pray for you as well




Quoting Tressa1:

Yay!!! Praying for you!! Updates please!! I'm a week post op and I'm dying to talk to my doc to get a plan in place to ttc again! It's great to finally come across a lady that has conceived after this.

Nic630
by New Member on Nov. 13, 2013 at 5:08 PM

My doctor also said it was just poor luck- no rhyme or reason. To offer you a little hope, I am now 23 weeks pregnant. I had an ectopic back in April and lost a tube after surgery and was feeling devastated and uncertain of the future possibilities at the time. It's horrible to be pregnant one minute and not the next, and no one can relate to the physical and mental pain. I wish you solace and that you will get your wish.

MrsSumner3
by Member on Nov. 15, 2013 at 10:16 PM
Thank you so much it is awful I lost two babies this year and it feels like a part of me died but I am currently 5 week pregnant and after two blood tests they say everything seems to be progressing normally so here's hoping the longer I get to keep this one the better I feel kinda like I'm slowly recovering


Quoting Nic630:

My doctor also said it was just poor luck- no rhyme or reason. To offer you a little hope, I am now 23 weeks pregnant. I had an ectopic back in April and lost a tube after surgery and was feeling devastated and uncertain of the future possibilities at the time. It's horrible to be pregnant one minute and not the next, and no one can relate to the physical and mental pain. I wish you solace and that you will get your wish.


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