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Confused lost n depressed

Posted by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:48 PM
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On July 10 2014 on a Thursday I had sharp pain in my stomach I did not know why . I had told my boyfriend I can't moved I feel soo much pain ! He told me to relax that I was exaggerate n to just rest ! He left to work n I stay home with pain I started to feel light headed nausea. I had call my mom to tell her the feeling I was having she ask what's wrong with me ? I told her i don't know . She had told me she's going take me to the hospital ! Bc she can hear in my voice I was in so much pain . My mom came and when she did I was throwing up n dizzy n feeling like I was going to fainted ! she rush n drove me to the hospital . When getting to the hospital I had fainted n passed out waking up in the er with blood in my legs bc I fell on my knee when I passes out n Iv in my arms , the pain was horrible . When doctor ask what's was wrong I cry with pain saying idk ! I don't remember a lot bc I kept passing out! Last thing I remember I was told I was pregnant n was bleeding all in my stomach n need to be in surgery ASAP bc I was losing blood. 4 hours in surgery n waking up in the recovery room not understanding what just happen ! I was soo lost n confused n still in pain I had learn I lost my left tube I had ectopic pregnacy that exploded I lost lots of blood ! Had to get blood !! Doctor even say I could of died ! Just soo much information thrown to me in one day !!! It was very overwhelmed confused n just pain.

It's now July 30 n all I do is cry . I'm still in pain . I'm been bleeding since I had this surgery n I feel like my heart hurts . I feel soo down bc I just can't understand why me ! I didn't even know I was pregnant . I had seen my gyn doctor may 24 n ask for pregnacy test which she did with a blood test n came out negative . Then I had my period June 24-30 so I don't know how far long I was or nothing!! I'm just soo confused, hurt depressed n can't stop crying ! I don't even know if I can have kids again ? I don't even know what to expect ! I just feel lost! With no answer !! I go see my doctor aug 8 Friday n I'm lost beyonds word !
by on Jul. 30, 2014 at 8:48 PM
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Replies (1-2):
CaturaNoir
by New Member on Aug. 17, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Hello :)

I'm new here. I just went through the same thing as you. I found out I was 3+ weeks pregnant on August 6th. Totally unplanned, but not unwanted.. Just when my fiancé and I we're used to the idea of having a baby, it all fell apart, tragically.

Around 6pm, August 7th, I began having these terrible shooting, sharp pains throughout my uterus, up to my ribs, in my anus and my cervix area.. The pain took my breath away. At first, I thought it was gas pain, but when it went over an hour, and sitting on the toilet did nothing.. I asked my Fiancé to drive me to the ER.

I'm so glad I went. The first ER confirmed my pregnancy, and performed a pelvic exam where nothing was found.. They took a culture and referred me to a nearby hospital who was equipped with the right equipment for an ultrasound and blood work at that hour. Somehow, my pain was minimal at the end of this visit, and I was relieved and still hoping it was just a hideous gas attack.

I was given paperwork and rushed to the next ER. Once I began walking back to the car, the pain hit again, only ten times more intense and I couldn't sit. I was hitting everything in the car,
Gasping for air.

The next hospital admitted me immediately, and put me right on a stretcher. I had to somehow sit still and let them take an external ultrasound and an internal afterwards when they found nothing. After about a half hour to hour wait for the results, my fiancé and I were told that I needed emergency surgery because the pregnancy was ectopic, and that I was bleeding internally as a result of my fallopian tube rupturing.

At this point, I was terrified and seeing stars.
My blood pressure was so low, I almost passed out. They told me to lay back and just breathe until the on call surgeon made it to the hospital.

I said what I needed to say to my Fiancé.
Told him what needed to be done in the event,
The surgery wasn't successful, and I didn't make it. The staff was very reassuring, and when the surgeon arrived, she was also. She was very confident I'd pull through, and let me know that she had performed this surgery multiple times and never had an issue.

I had a gazillion questions and just wanted to be put to sleep so they could save me.

I woke up with no pain, was in the hospital until 10pm, August 8th. It was the anniversary of my Grandmother's passing, and I was terrified I'd be joining her. I lost so much blood, I was given a transfusion. That alone scared me.

It's now over a week later, and I'm still recovering. Every day has been a challenge. I didn't feel like myself until a few days ago. I keep pushing my multivitamin, my iron supplement and 2 liters of water a day. Laxative, stool softeners.. Healthy foods..bed rest. Oh my. ..and the tears. I cry for nothing and everything. I'm grieving for the baby that never stood a chance. I can't even look at baby pictures.. Went to Walmart, and lost it when I passed through the baby section.

No one gets me. My fiancé has been great with taking care of me.. But no one understands my grief. I joined this group because I need to reach out and speak to other women who have gone through this.

I have so many more things I would like to say.. But I'll leave them out for now because I have already written a book here :o

I'm so terribly sorry for your experience, and loss. Please know that you are not alone. If you need to talk about it, I'm here :)

celticlk86
by New Member on Nov. 16, 2014 at 3:08 AM
You both are not alone. It's been three weeks since my eptopic pregnancy and I had my right tube removed. I feel terrible. There is no other word for it. I cry sleep cry so more. I try to stay strong for my husband which has been great and my other 2 kids but it's so hard. In a 2 weeks I find out we have a 10% chance good luck then having pains finding out I'm pregnant going on vaca for a friend's wedding and have emergency surgery and having this precious baby we've been praying for ripped from us just as fast as we found out. I came to this site for support also. I'm not sure how to cope with this loss. I'm tired of hearing well at least you know it can happen and we'll it just wasn't ment to be right now and I'm so sorry for your loss. I know their trying to make light of this and to cheer me up but it's just a reminder of what happen and it's not comforting words. If you ladies need to talk I'm here for anyone who wants to. Thanks for listening sorry to ramble it's been a long night
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