I really need a friend, support, and advice!
This is probably one of the hardest things that I have had to deal with in my life. I am 25 with a 5 year old, son. I am married and have been married for almost 6 years. We got pregnant with Austin after 2 years. I was young and our take on it then was if it happens it happens... Since h was 3 we have been trying for another one and I finally got pregnant in Mar. 08 but found out about a week later that it was an ectopic pregnancy and my body was already trying to rid it. I was given Methantraxte? and that worked with getting my HCG levels back to normal. Then in Oct. 08 I found out I was pregnant agian and then I started bleeding. I laid in my bed for 4 days in so much pain phyiscally and emotionally I refused to go to the doctor due to not wanting to hear them say i was losing it. On day 4 my husband took me to the er where they said that I was having another tubal and had been internally bleeding for probably about 4 days. It resulted in the loss of my left tube. Both ectopics on the same side, the doctor says i still have my other side to work with but then comes the emotion of fear what if it happens agian and the failure i feel as a wife and mother. My son asks why he has no brother or sister all the time, family asks when you planning on having another one. and my mom who doesnt suspect ill ever get pregnant agian says be thankful for the one you have... she has 5 children and its always followed by you kids about drove me crazy one is okay but I want 2 or 3 and have since i was little. This has caused me extreme depression because invitro seems to be way out of the price range for me so I am having to pray my other tube will work but with the depression i am having horrible marriage problems and the depression doesnt seem to get any better when i turn on Tv and there is one show after another about teenage pregnancy, my friends are pregnant or have infants that I cant even be around anymore. I feel like Im falling apart and even going shopping around the baby isles at walmart hurts. i am not sure if my feelings are normal but no one else I knw is experencing this and I feel like others think I am just complaining. I have been told to get a puppy.... I have 2 and for all of us with a child no that is nothing like having your baby... If anyone out there can help or just be my friend I would appreciate... I feel so alone with this.