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My 2 1/2 yr old having a hard time going to sleep at night, started after having my 3mo old

Posted by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 8:02 AM
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My son T used to be such a good sleeper, usually never a problem getting to sleep.  He typically lays down with me then I put him in the crib once he is asleep.  Now, once he finishes his bottle, yes he still gets his night time bottle, he asks to go in the crib.  The minute I start getting up he says "no, lay down with mommy".  He laughs about it sometimes but once I decide to place him him the crib he cries, gets sooo upset.  It breaks my heart.  At that point he does not even want to go to my husband, only me.  Right now it is only he and I and my newborn C.  Definitely a jealousy thing going on but I need to figure out how to get him to sleep without going through this every night.

 

Thanks,

Kathy

by on Dec. 14, 2009 at 8:02 AM
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goddess_alyson
by Group Owner on Dec. 15, 2009 at 7:21 PM

I really wish that I had some advice for you but my DD is still an infant so I haven't had to deal with that yet but I'm sure I will!  I went on www.askdrsears.com and this is what I found and it sounds like it might work.  I'm a big fan of Dr. Sears and I've used some of his techniques and they've worked well for my LO.

 

Our three-year-old wakes up in the middle of the night and either demands to sleep in our bed or insists that Mommy comes sleep in her room. How can we break this habit?

First, decide whether your child's desire to sleep with you is a habit or a need (a parent can tell the difference). Nighttime can be scary for little people, so when in doubt consider it a need. Physical contact at night gives you and your child a chance to reconnect. The desire for nighttime contact may be particularly strong if your child had little or no contact with you during the day. The key is to find a compromise that meets both your need for privacy and sleep and your child's need for attachment and security.

Lie down with your child in her room and parent her to sleep with a story, a back rub, and some cuddle time. Then set nighttime rules. Put a futon or mattress at the foot of your bed and explain that if she wakes up she can come and sleep in her "special bed." Your three-year-old needs to understand the importance of not disturbing your sleep. If she needs comfort during the night, tell her to tiptoe quietly and slip into her special bed without waking mommy or daddy. Eventually, your daughter will spend more time in her own bed, resorting to the special bed only during times of stress – a change in schools or friends, a move, or any of life's little upsets that can disturb children's sleep. Above all, don't feel you are spoiling your child or that she is psychologically disturbed because she can't sleep on her own. Many emotionally healthy children simply enjoy the nighttime security of sleeping close to their parents. When it comes down to it, the time your youngster spends in your room (or in your bed) is relatively short, but it encourages a positive life-long attitude about bedtime, conveying that sleep is a pleasant – rather than fearful – state to enter.

 

caitlynevansmom
by on Dec. 16, 2009 at 12:53 AM

My son is the same way with me.  He was just getting to be a good sleeper when my daughter was born. (He'll be 2 this January and she is 8 months) I try and spend time with him, just us, when she is down for a nap.  Sometimes this helps him get through the night as he is not waking up wanting me.  My husband started putting him to bed when I was pregnant so we were ahead of the attatchment game.  You might try some "Daddy Time" as part of the bedtime routine too.

Evan and Caitlyn's Mom

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