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False Child Abuse Allegations!

Posted by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 3:21 PM
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So has anyone in this group had to deal with your husband's ex making false abuse allegations?

My stepson's BM not only did this to us, but she also coached my 6 year old stepson into saying that the abuse happened. 

I just want to tell others out there going through the same thing,  PRAY...pray to whatever your higher power is, and do NOT give up.  The truth WILL prevail, and it takes time.  CPS, DSS, and Law Enforcement are out there to keep our children safe, so just let them do their job.  Do  not get in there way, or even get angry with them.  They are only doing their job. 

Our horrible experience with this is almost over, and the truth has finally surfaced in my husband's case.  My husband took a polygraph test on Tuesday and passed it, and he was also interviewed as well.  My stepson has also been interviewed multiple times, and each time, he always adds more.  My stepson was COACHED by his biological mother, our evidence and time will prove this.  

My stepson told CPS that not only did his daddy "abuse" him, but he also said that he shares a room "upstairs" with 2 people named Annaliese and Anothony...let me tell you, we live in a one story home, and have for the last 7 years we do not have a second floor in our home.  He also does NOT share a room with anyone, and we do not know anyone by those names.  He also told them that I abused him too, and that I watched my husband abuse him...then he changed his story and that he was making that part up about me, and that I never hurt him.  He could not even lie on me!  He also told them that his dad abuses our "foster children"....we do not have any foster children...we are not even foster parents! 

For everyone out there going through this, please just let the law do their job, the truth will come out.  Most importantly, always remember that IT IS NOT THE CHILD'S FAULT!  They were coached into telling these awful lies, and you have no idea what the other parent could have made them believe to get them to lie. 

I miss my stepson so much, we have not seen him since October 4th, this is the longest we have EVER been away from him since he was 2 months old and it is so hard.  My husbands visits were never taken from him, he VOLUNTEERED to give up ONE weekend until after my stepsons interview, and that was back in October, since then, his bilogical mother has REFUSED to allow us to pick him up, and is currently breaking a court order. Legal action IS currently being taken. 

It should NEVER have come to this, all she cares about is control, and getting us out of the picture.  She doesnt care about whats really best for her son, all she cares about is whats best for HER. 

Things will never be the same now, and I am curious to find out how things will work out in future.

* Dani *
butterfly

by on Nov. 12, 2009 at 3:21 PM
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Replies (1-9):
kell504
by Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 1:00 PM

I am sorry to hear that ALL of you have to go through this. We have experienced close to the same thing but with differences. The BM on this end has always tried to cause many many problems with DH. She first just went after him every way she could then when that did not work I was next. When that did not work she then went after my adult children, grandchildren, and my 16 year old son. I would never engage with her but would hold my own with her. All she ever wanted was more and more money and the control over their children. My DH stood up to her like never before when they were married. By him finally standing up for himself she assumed this was all me making him do it. I knew when me and my DH were first together by certain comments the BM would make that I would have to be very careful with her children and mine. At the time their daughters were 4 and 8, my son who was still at home was 9. We never left them alone in the house without us home ever. I told my DH when we first got together that I knew at some point she would pull the my son did something to one of the daughters, my DH assured me that just wouldn't happen. Guess what happened when my son was 12 and her daughters were then 7 and 11. The BM claimed that my son exposed himself to the younger daughter. This supposedly happened in June but it did not come out until November. My DH told the BM absolutely that did not happen. We knew that there was NO chance that this happened. If something like that did happen (because we are very aware that children are curious) she would have been upset come inside and told either me, her dad, or her sister and she would have been very upset. There were no signs ever and all summer she was in the pool with my son after this had supposedly happened. She of course reported it to CPS and they would not even investigate the claim.  She then went to court without our knowledge and the judge took away my DH's visitation which was against the law in the first place because we were not even notified of the filing or court date.  More to come.

kell504
by Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 1:11 PM

2nd page to first reply:

After his attorney received the fax from her attorney ( who is also her boss) showing the visitation was terminated, my DH got on the phone and called the court. Guess what then, the court was out on the holiday break (right before Christmas) so for two weeks nothing could be done ( we always had a feeling that they knew people in the court system because of things that were always done and it was way to coincidental). Then the BM send my DH e-mail after e-mail saying she will let him see the girls as long as my son was not there. Both myself and my DH said no way would we agree to that and place blame on my son. I offered for my DH to get and children and have them anytime but never at our home again. I learned my lesson and when you deal with BM's like this there is no telling what the next accusation would be and against who. My DH decided that he would not fight this any longer in court, we had already spent all of our savings, 401K, and we just couldn't afford to keep this fight going with her and the court systems. My Dh had told the BM when this first came out to bring their daughter in for an evaluation and the BM would not do it. My DH went for 2 years without having his daughters at our home. We would go to and see them for important functions in school but nothing else. This effected his oldest daughter and my son more then anyone else. Well, 2 years later my DH fought in court for his visitation back, I insisted no overnights, and my DH had to be in sight at all times while his daughters were at our home. The NEW judge ordered his visitation back and also that his daughter have an e-val and I agreed to have my son have an e-val also. I wanted this all along and it should have been done when this allegation surfaced.

kell504
by Member on Nov. 13, 2009 at 1:18 PM

3rd page to reply:

Guess what, still to this day which has been about six months, the BM has not contacted us to set up the evaluations. The judge ordered that she do this within 30 days. Me and my DH both know that she does not want her daughter to go because then the truth will come out that it was all the BM. We are trying to save money now to take her back to court because she has not followed the judge's orders on quite a few things.

I will however suggest to you that you be very, very careful when dealing with a BM like this.  The child does not have to prove that this did happen you have to prove it did not. Thank God they have determined that this was not the truth, many other people are not as lucky.

Sorry so long but I wanted you to know our background on this situation. Good luck to you.

Luv2b_stepm0m
by on Nov. 13, 2009 at 4:39 PM

Thank you for the support, and for sharing your story!  My husband has a meeting with our area DSS next week, and then we'll go from there.  My husbands visitation has NOT been taken from him legally, the BM has taken is upon HERSELF to deny him his visits, which we are currently taking legal action against.  Everyone dealing with the same kinds of things, JUST KEEP YOUR HEAD UP AND REMEMEBR THE TRUTH WILL PREVAIL.

* Dani *
butterfly

Eternalstar
by New Member on Dec. 16, 2009 at 8:28 PM

I just went ot court over this very issue not two weeks ago. My DH's ex is accusing him and every other male family member who pisses her off of sexually abusing their youngest son! Her own step father included.! She is totally out of control and has no respect for the gravity of the accusations she makes. She accused my DH  because he washes his 7 year's hair for him when he can't get all the soap out. The child calls to him from the bathroom and says "Daddy,  I need help" so he goes and helps him and then leaves. She went so far as to have said in court that my husband had been abused by his father and now was a danger to his own son because people who are abused are more likely to become abusers! BUT IT IS COMPLETELY MADE UP! My DH was never abused! He tried to tell the judge that and she wouldn't even listen. How in th world can a judge take an ex wife's word that her exhusband was abused as child and now is a danger of the exhusband said he was never abused?


EarthHippy
by on Dec. 22, 2009 at 10:49 AM

This is something that my ex did with me, and still swears by it almost 2 years later. Our 3 yr old (at the time) came home from pre-school/day care with child size finger nail marks on the inside of his arm between his elbow and armpit. because he had so much hate and anger toward me, he said i did it. he told me that our son told him i did it. Well at the time i was working, and i could not have, and my job entailed building shelves and i couldn't have long nails or any nails for that matter, in order to do my job, second they were child size marks. i called the day care and the told me that kids get into little "fights" and they breakthem up, but it most likely happened at school from another kid.  This all happened when we first made the decision to separated and neither one of us had moved out yet. 

Eternalstar
by New Member on Jan. 11, 2010 at 10:55 PM

This is currently happening to us. My step sons' Bm is trying to remove us and everyone else from her "old life" from their lives. She has accused her own step father, my father-in-law and now my DH of molesting his youngest son. So far she hasn't convinced the boy to lie but she did enroll him in counseling during which they have been fushing for information related to the alleged abuse. Their BM is derranged and consumed with hate for anyone who doesn't agree with her and her choices. She is sacrificing her own children to her vendetta and has no concern for their mental or physical health. When we get the boys she has packed dirty laundry for them and not cut their toenails for weeks. They have told us she doesn't have them chang their socks and underwear unless they shower and that only happens 2-3 times a week. The woman is the most repulsive self-absorbed disgraceful example of a mother and she truly horrifies me.I am deeply concerned fro my step sons' safety and future.   


VintyThrifty
by on Jun. 11, 2010 at 7:12 PM

i had it happen to me, it almost ruined my life but i didnt let the lies control my life and completely ruin me cause i know adn GOD what really happened. They tried to get me mad at my kids too but little did they forget i could never ever turn against my kids. They were coached and are still being brainwashed but i love them regardless now, always and forever. They cant take that away. They have lied against my poor dad, mom g parents and even cousins. Their lies will catch up with them soon

MEand7
by New Member on Mar. 2, 2011 at 12:52 AM

It's amazing to m how many crazy women there are. We just went through a series of four separate filings and investigations by my husband's ex-wife and her mother (aka partner in crime) my husbands been through all of that. What a web of lies they weave. We finally got custody of her and we're grateful that our child is not still in that situation. Keep your head up and keep fighting. Thank you for the encouragement and the reminder to stay humble. You never know what "crazy" will do next. *HUGS*

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