Family VS New Guy

[aimeegreen4ever]

Is it the famlies responsibility to make the new person feel welcomed into the family or is it the new persons responsibility to force themselves into the family?

I have been with my husband for over a year and we have been married since February of this year. My family acts like he does not exist when we get together at family functions, not even acknowledging his exsistance! I asked my mother last night why she does this and she told me that it is his job to push his way into the family. I completely disagree...

Thoughts, opinions and advice would be great!

[NannyB.]

I've never even thought about this question.  Usually, by the time a couple is married, they have spent considerable time with both families.  The spouses of our children were like ours by the time the weddings took place, so there must be some underlying dynamic in your family that is different.  I would just tell my husband to be himself.  If nobody goes out of their way to be friendly, he should just hang out with his wife and not worry about the others. 

[aimeegreen4ever]

I just dont understand why my family acts like that to him... he is a wonderful man and husband. He's the guy who buys the kid at work lunch when he cant afford it, who makes me dinner, loves my son like his own and worries about my health and well being every second of the day. He says his job is to take care of me, my job is to take care of the kids... he takes care of them too....

[momiboys]

Like NannyB said, let him be himself whenever he is their mist.

i think it's the family that should welcome a new person and make him/her comfortable. if it continue like this and i am in your position, i will reduce my time of going to such gathering because i wont stand such treatment to my hubby and i will let my parents knows my reasons for keeping away.

let me ask, are u the 1st to marry, if no, how did the new member integrate?