Michigan Bookworms Can't Become Parents Without Your Help

[JaneAustenFan25]

Hello,

     We love stories -- whether they are found in a movie or on a TV screen, or whether they're found between the pages of a book. We often think about the stories we will share with our child. We often imagine what his story will be like, how he joined our family and what his birthparents went through to bring him into this world. We often imagine telling him about the time we wrote his birthmother a letter, hoping she would choose us to be his parents and how she read something in that letter that struck her, that made her know we were the ones. We can't wait to meet his birthfamily so we can start learning all the things we will someday tell him. If you choose us to be his parents, you will not be forgotten. The love you have for him and the hard work you put into making good choices for him will always be remembered.

     We are high school sweethearts who fell in love while sharing the leadership of our school's Creative Writing magazine and club. We have written and edited dozens of stories and poems, but find this letter to be the most challenging thing we've ever written. How do you choose the right words to express your respect and gratitude to the woman, or couple, who might choose you to parent their child? How do you summarize your interests and histories and describe the future you imagine for the child you might adopt?

     We live in a little brown house, with a bay window where our cats can usually be found, sunbathing. There's a circle drive, perfect for sidewalk chalk masterpieces and tricycles. There's our dog, Maggie, a too-fat and fluffy Sheltie who loves children. She often accompanies Caryn to work, helping to take care of the children she Nannies for. Maggie has visited Jordan at the bank where he works, but has never been allowed to help him behind the counter.

     We can hardly wait to share our love of learning with our child. Though we are rather indoorsy, bookwormy people who hope to share our favorite hobbies with our child, we're excited to help him discover his own gifts and interests. Maybe he'll be a natural musician, dancer, artist, computer programmer, gardener... Who knows? Caryn hopes he acquires her love of books and music, her optimism and confidence. She hopes that he will emulate Jordan's kindness, gentleness and humility. Jordan hopes that he learns to be a spiritually minded person, will share his love of videogames and will absorb Caryn's resilience. We are best friends who admire eachother and we both feel we have a lot to share with and offer a child. We have a home that seems empty without a child, and many family and friends who long to be aunts, uncles, and grandparents.

     When our infertility was confirmed and we considered creating a family through adoption, our greatest obstacle was the idea that the happiest day of our life would probably be the saddest day in someone else's life. We had no wish to gain happiness at the expense of others' pain. So, when we learned of open adoption and learned that we ourselves would have the opportunity to reassure, offer promises and comfort the woman, or couple, who had made us parents... That made all the difference to us. We want our child’s birth family to know us and trust us and see their child living the life they'd chosen for him. We want to meet and know the "authors" of our child and know all the details of his story so we can answer all of his questions about who he is and where he came from.

     One page hardly seems like enough to tell you all we wish to tell you -- about us and the future we hope to provide for your child. Every relationship must start somewhere. We hope ours starts here.

Sincerely,

Caryn & Jordan

(We'd be happy to email our pictures to you.)

[grtlyblesd]

That's a lovely "Dear Birthmother" letter. 

Most of the members of this group are hopeful adoptive parents, just like you.  Welcome to the group.  How long have you been waiting?  Looks like you're hoping for a private domestic adoption? 

Our family decided to adopt a year ago, and we've been licensed foster parents waiting for our first placement for 4 months now.  Good luck with your search.