PDD/ NOS child with Anger & emotional issues???

[ILOVEMYCAIDEN]

My DS has PDD/NOS autisim and he get's easily upset angry & emotional ( crying) sometimes i wonder what i can do to help calm him down. I wonder if he need's counseling or meds ( which i am against but it needed i would consider).  He is bossy, He yell's and fight's with his siblings, very impatient (he think's everything should be done for him right then & there) He talk's like a baby sometimes and when i tell him i don't understand baby talk he get's very irrate and scream's. He hit's his siblings which are older and then lies about starting fights. He is 7 and his siblings are 13/15&17. Then he say's that everyone is mean to him if we tell him to behave or stop lying(expecially when we catch him in the act). I just get at my wit's end and don't know what to do anymore. My daughter & step kid's yell at him all the time and say he is stupid and i get on to them cause i tell him that, it is cause of him Pdd/NOS that he act's certain way's. But people tell me to not let him get away with things because of that & that he is smarter than i give him credit for and think's he is just acting out like a typical boy. But i feel it's the Autism.  If anyone has a child with Pdd/Nos and has similarities PLEASE write back.

 

[mysnis1n150]

i swear you are talking about my son. Matthew is 9 and does the same exact thing. he has 4 sibling at home and fights with all of them. I hear your pain. Matthew is on concerta and clonidine[for night cause he dont sleep]. when he gets his concrta he does seem to get better but like today he didnt get it and he was off the wall. I know exactly where your comming from. if you have any questions or need to talk my email is [e-mail].

[mopsmommy5]

You are describing my son-who's 11! He was recently diagnosed with Bipolar and ODD and had been originally diagnosed with ADHD! The unconrolable anger and violence is so hard to live with! It's considered abuse-yes we are in intensive therapy for it-and can really emotionally harm the family ESP the kids! It makes them feel helpless to be a victim-talk to them about it! As for your child- get them to a counselor if you aren't already-there are meds that slow impulses and anger(I was against meds too-but have seen an improvement!) my 4 hr old was the main target-he wound up in a treatment center twice for the anger outbursts/rages! There is a great self soothing box you can make for himthat can help calm him down before or during escillation-it is filled with 1-3 items per sense, touch,smell,taste,see,hear-we did stuff like unusual snacks for taste-jerky,little debbie cake, gum, touch, a really soft baby stuffed animal rattle, a cold smooth stone, a squishy ball, smell-small container of oils of vanilla, orange, wintergreen, see, pics of his fave stuff-legos, GI joe, grandma and grandpa, hearing-mp3, a clicking pen, pad of paper to write feelings on also! We put it into a shoe box and it has helped so far! Good luck-I commisserate! Hope this helps!

[sclark2007]

This sounds a lot like my son, also.  He is 10 and dx'd w/ PDD-NOS, OCD, and DD.  He has severe anger and behavioral issues, too.  He can really get mean towards myself and little sis.  She is only 5 and NT.  We are in intense behavior therapy, also, w/ him.  He is on meds because of his behavior and anxiety, plus he doesn't sleep well at night.

[chenra]

 I'm reading all of this....the OP and the replies....and wondering if all of the kids mentioned showed signs of anger/behavior issues earlier on?  My son is almost 5 and has been to a Neurologist, Developmental Pediatrician, Behavior Specialist and was tested by an Occupational Therapist through our public school system....but he has NEVER been officially diagnosed with anything.....they suspect ADHD and/or SPD, but I've never been told  "This is for sure what he has".  He has a terrible temper,,,,,he'll demand we get him some chocolate milk and we've gotten to the point where we'll ignore him till he asks nicely for it, but instead of asking nicely, he screams and demands it even louder, if I continue to ignore him, he'll throw himself on the couch and kick and punch the couch and scream that he wants it NOW!  He knows if I tell him "I can't hear you" that he needs to say "Can I have some chocolate milk please?"....but it frustrates me SOOO much that he can't remember to just ask nicely the first time....he does this EVERY TIME!!!

He'll deliberately walk into his sister, which makes her mad, so she hits him, then he turns around and starts wailing on her....punching, with both fists....even though he started it by walking into her.....I'm at my wits end with this kid....it's scaring me that it's gonna get worse by what I'm reading here......who do I need to take him to to find out whether or not he has ADHD or SPD????

[sclark2007]

My son has been to all of those specialists, too.  However, his pediatric neurologist is the one that diagnosed him.  He started seeing him at 1 yr of age, but he did not diagnose him until he was 4 1/2 yrs of age.  It took a while, but he finally figured it out.  He diagnosed him w/ PDD NOS, which is on the Autism Spectrum.  He also has OCD and DD.  He is getting better, however, he still has his moments, especially towards myself.

Quoting chenra:

 I'm reading all of this....the OP and the replies....and wondering if all of the kids mentioned showed signs of anger/behavior issues earlier on?  My son is almost 5 and has been to a Neurologist, Developmental Pediatrician, Behavior Specialist and was tested by an Occupational Therapist through our public school system....but he has NEVER been officially diagnosed with anything.....they suspect ADHD and/or SPD, but I've never been told  "This is for sure what he has".  He has a terrible temper,,,,,he'll demand we get him some chocolate milk and we've gotten to the point where we'll ignore him till he asks nicely for it, but instead of asking nicely, he screams and demands it even louder, if I continue to ignore him, he'll throw himself on the couch and kick and punch the couch and scream that he wants it NOW!  He knows if I tell him "I can't hear you" that he needs to say "Can I have some chocolate milk please?"....but it frustrates me SOOO much that he can't remember to just ask nicely the first time....he does this EVERY TIME!!!

He'll deliberately walk into his sister, which makes her mad, so she hits him, then he turns around and starts wailing on her....punching, with both fists....even though he started it by walking into her.....I'm at my wits end with this kid....it's scaring me that it's gonna get worse by what I'm reading here......who do I need to take him to to find out whether or not he has ADHD or SPD????

[RacerMom10]

Have you tried any Meds?

[Kara02kids]

My son was diagnosed a few years ago with ADHD however I see more of the PDD NOS as does his behavioral therapist. I recommend behavioral therapy, my son is five now and this has helped him so much to learn how to handle things when he gets upset. These children are different in many ways, mostly they are emotionally behind the other kids although they can be book smart. My son tested two years behind emotionally, otherwise typical. So he will have tantrums,etc since he is emotionally acting like a 3 year old. She gave us skills to use when he gets so upset there is nothing you can do and arguing with them at that point is useless, they are not going to reason or listen until they calm down so then we just have him scream/cry in his room or quiet place to let him calm down. Also we were very against meds too however we ended up doing it and we are so glad we did use an ADHD meds as many kids with PDD NOS need something to help them focus more and so he has improved in school and focuses so much better. He can just get through this school day which was my main goal. As his therapist said, without meds he would get further and further behind and I didnt want that at all so I did what was recommended. The medication has also helped him move out of the "hitting phase" and we are now in the talking unkind phase which is what we are trying to deal with now. Good luck and try the therapy and keep an open mind about meds and see what can happen!

[PopGozTheWeezil]

  Sounds like my 9-y.o. son.  He has been on Intuniv for ADHD and Abilify for the anger.  The ADHD is under control somewhat but the anger is not.  He continues to have meltdowns in the classroom and the staff has to remove him.  I'm at my wits end.  My next appt with his psych is in a couple of weeks.  I don't believe there is anything else in these drug classes that they can give him.  I started thinking that perhaps a brain scan might be something we could ask for to perhaps pinpoint what is causing the anger.  I was wondering if anyone here ever had one prescribed for your child and if so, did it help?  Thanks!

[MtDawnDawn]

My 8 y/o also has behavioral/anger issues too. I don't see them at home tho. I hear that he is self abusive, easily cries/whinny, ignores requests and more from the teachers. (<thats a whole different story.) Anyways, I don't allow these behaviors at home. I've been called mean by many other parents but I refuse to allow my son to act like an animal or not be held accountable for his actions. I did not hesitate to swat him on the butt when he was little and now that he is bigger it is more effective to ground him or take things away. He knows that if there is anything that he wants he has to use his manners. If we go anywhere he has to act apporiately or he will no be allowed to go again. I don't treat him any different than I would a "normal" child. I have a daycare in my home and hold all the children to the same standard (appropiate for their age). I am very blunt with my son and will tell it like it is. If he is having a day or moment, I just pull him aside and tell him that "acting like an ass isn't going to get him anywhere and if he doesn't stop he'll be grounded or will loose such and such privilage.." he normally stops acting out. But I always follow through with the said consenquence. I don't know if this helps but its worked for us.

[Nursetashi]

my son is 4 with pdd nos, though I also think he has adhd. He is constantly throwing fits, screaming, crying, getting emotional and lately hes been hitting me, kicking me, pulling his sisters hair, forcing her out of her dinner chair, he acts up in the store, tries to jump from cart to cart although we already have a cart. its VERY fustrating, at home hes always on the go from 7am to 11pm and sometimes hell wake up 3am ready to start the day, touching the phones, banging the windows to wake me up, pulling down my curtians. today the dr prescribed him 3mg melatonin to try to get him to sleep at a decent hour and regulate his sleep patterns. I hope it works. I also have an apt at a child psych. I couldnt get one until Feb....:( hes had behavior therepy since 18 months, hes in a ABA specific school for preschool he gets ABA all day 6 hours and then gets an ABA therepist for one hour after school but its not helping his behaviors, they say he doesnt act up at school as much as he does here but lately ive been at my wits end im pregnant and last night I cried my eyes out when he got up 3am bc sat and sun he was off the walls and I was so tired lol...just hang in there, I didnt believe in meds, either, but his doctor said imagine being on the go 24.7, he has to calm down too...so im going to try meds if the neurologist suggests it....