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Advice for a new mom of a preemie

Posted by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:18 PM
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I just gave birth to my first child October 26th at 28 weeks via c-section due to severe preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome.  My life has changed in the past 2 weeks and it's been physically and emotionally exhausting.

I feel so many emotions.  I feel like I was robbed of my pregnancy and delivery.  I'm traumatized from having preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome and everything that happened in the hospital, I could have died it was so bad.  My blood pressure is still not in check and it scares me.  We are running out of money, and when my husband does go back to work he will be going out of state like he normally would every week, so I'll be alone.  I don't work anymore, I can't drive for another week.  I can't clean or lift anything right now.  I can't eat, but I'm not sure if it's from my medicine or depression.  We revolve around going to the hospital 2 or 3 times a day...we don't live far but it's like all I do is pump, drive to see the baby, go home, repeat.  I feel like there is NO normalcy in my life anymore and I just want to break down and cry.

That is all just the tip of the ice burg....  does anyone have any advice to help get me through this rough time?

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by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 3:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
AmesCSki
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 4:41 PM
What I can tell you is that you WILL get through it. Your baby will come home. It may not be tomorrow but it will happen. I know you can't see it now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. My preemie was born via emergency c-section and was in the NICU for 23 days which seemed like forever. I cried constantly and thought we'd never get home. I constantly worried and my doctor put me on Zoloft to help me through the tough time. Don't hesitate to ask for help, don't hesitate to be nice to yourself. Just know it will end and that all will be ok.
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calimom1123
by New Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 5:07 PM
Hugs. My sister had my nephew at 26wks. He weighed 1lb7oz. She had exactly what you had. Before she delivered she was sooo sick and the drs kept shrugging her off saying she had a virus! She couldnt keep anything down. Luckily I kept telling her to go back and finally they said she had preeclampsia and her kidneys and other organs were starting to shut down! It was scary. She was induced the next day baby was healthy just very tiny. It took a couple months for my sister to start feeling better. Her kidneys hurt for about 3mnths after and bp was up too. So I think it will take time for your body to heal. There were alot of ups and downs for baby but he did good. My sister cried alot because she missed him and felt soo bad leaving him there. It was hard! But once he came home its as if it all was forgotten. He knew momma and acted like he was never away. He stayed in the nicu for 3 long months! He is now 17mnths and doing great! No problems! You can get through this!! Your baby will be home before you know it.
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Mcelly
by New Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 5:15 PM
I delivered Oct 15th, im going through the nicu experince as well. It sucks. That alone is a lot of stress. Right now you probably have the baby blues and you are approaching its peak. Give yourself another few weeks, if you dont feel better you should see a doctor for ppd.
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mlhoffman76
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 7:08 PM

It's something when you get pregnant you never think will happen to you.  I'm going through this as well.  I have gotten my blood pressure under control but still have the stress of the pumping and trying to cope with not having my baby girl home with me.  All we can do is think positive and try to take care of ourselves so we can be the mothers we need to be for our little ones when they are able to come home.  Be strong, think positive and rely on the support you get.  Good Luck! 

Beckybelle
by New Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 8:23 PM

My son was born at 32 weeks. He spent 3 1/2 weeks in the NICU. I felt the same way you're feeling... my life revolved around trips to the NICU and pumping. The hardest days were when we got a bad snowstorm and I couldn't go see him. Also, knowing that if your baby was home with you, you'd be able to relax and recover from this major surgery you'd just gone through.

Try to take care of yourself though! If you get sick you won't be able to visit him. Drink lots of water, get as much rest as you can, eat well (try smoothies!), and anything else try to pawn off on people offering to help. Focus on yourself right now. I ended up driving before I was supposed to because between my husbands schedule and not having any family in the area, if I wanted to see my baby I had to take myself there. I don't reccomend this :)

It seems crazy to hear this now, but in a few years this time will barely seem like a blip. My son is 5 1/2 and his time in the NCIU feels very far away and so short. At the time it felt like it was never going to end and I was never going to get him home.

Take care of yourself!

lovedbymom
by on Nov. 5, 2012 at 9:00 PM

 Well, you will get through this.  It will be hard and you will cry.  I know, I have there.  My hubby didn't work far from home, but he still worked.  Both my oldest and my youngest were in the nicu because they were early.  My daughter(oldest) was early due to pre eclampsia and my ds2 (youngest) was born early due to eclampsia.  With my youngest I was worse off and was scared that I wouldn't get through and back to where I was.  My ds2 is 14 months now and really healthy and strong.  He was our weakest at birth, but strong and healthy now.  If you need to talk to someone I am here for you.  My dd, is 9 now and looking at her you'd never guess she was a preemie.  My ds1 was early, but never had to stay in the nicu that goodness.  We were blessed with all three of our kids.  Again, you will get though this and your baby will come home.  I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

MMerrill
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:05 PM

Thank you!  It already feels like he's been in there forever and it's only been a week and a half, I don't know how I'll keep my sanity for another 2 1/2 months of him being in there.  My doctor also put me on Zoloft which I really really don't want to be on but I'm scared of what I'll be like if I'm not on it.  I feel so emotionally unstable, some days I feel strong and can handle it and some days it's all I can do to hold it together and I usually end up having a breakdown.  I hope that soon I'll be able to handle it better.

Quoting AmesCSki:

What I can tell you is that you WILL get through it. Your baby will come home. It may not be tomorrow but it will happen. I know you can't see it now but there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise. My preemie was born via emergency c-section and was in the NICU for 23 days which seemed like forever. I cried constantly and thought we'd never get home. I constantly worried and my doctor put me on Zoloft to help me through the tough time. Don't hesitate to ask for help, don't hesitate to be nice to yourself. Just know it will end and that all will be ok.


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MMerrill
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:08 PM

Thanks!  My baby weighed about the same, he was 1lb 14oz.  He should have weighed a bit more but he was growth restricted due to the preeclampsia.  I'm glad your sister ended up ok, my kidneys and liver started failing also and it was the scariest thing I've ever been through.  It's looking like my baby will also be in there 2 1/2-3 months but I'm hoping by some miracle he'll be better and be home sooner.

Quoting calimom1123:

Hugs. My sister had my nephew at 26wks. He weighed 1lb7oz. She had exactly what you had. Before she delivered she was sooo sick and the drs kept shrugging her off saying she had a virus! She couldnt keep anything down. Luckily I kept telling her to go back and finally they said she had preeclampsia and her kidneys and other organs were starting to shut down! It was scary. She was induced the next day baby was healthy just very tiny. It took a couple months for my sister to start feeling better. Her kidneys hurt for about 3mnths after and bp was up too. So I think it will take time for your body to heal. There were alot of ups and downs for baby but he did good. My sister cried alot because she missed him and felt soo bad leaving him there. It was hard! But once he came home its as if it all was forgotten. He knew momma and acted like he was never away. He stayed in the nicu for 3 long months! He is now 17mnths and doing great! No problems! You can get through this!! Your baby will be home before you know it.


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MMerrill
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:11 PM

I'm already on Zoloft, my doctor wanted to go ahead and start me on it so I wouldn't get too depressed.  Are you and your baby ok?  I'm sorry that you have to go through the NICU experience also, it's hard.

Quoting Mcelly:

I delivered Oct 15th, im going through the nicu experince as well. It sucks. That alone is a lot of stress. Right now you probably have the baby blues and you are approaching its peak. Give yourself another few weeks, if you dont feel better you should see a doctor for ppd.


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MMerrill
by Member on Nov. 5, 2012 at 10:15 PM

I'm so sorry you are going through the same thing!  I never in my life imagined going through this.  I didn't even really know about preeclampsia and I especially never thought I would get it and have a baby born at 28 weeks.  I see so many friends and family members all get pregnant and have no problems and I just can't believe things like this actually do happen, I mean I knew they did but it just didn't seem like it would ever happen to me.... and now it's my reality.  It's all I can do to stay strong but I'm trying!

Quoting mlhoffman76:

It's something when you get pregnant you never think will happen to you.  I'm going through this as well.  I have gotten my blood pressure under control but still have the stress of the pumping and trying to cope with not having my baby girl home with me.  All we can do is think positive and try to take care of ourselves so we can be the mothers we need to be for our little ones when they are able to come home.  Be strong, think positive and rely on the support you get.  Good Luck! 


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