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How often do you get out of the house?

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2010 at 1:24 PM
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Okay, so I'm a WAHM. I've worked at home for many years now as a content developer and website designer. I even do a little business consulting. However, I just don't get out of the house much at all. I make plans with friends and then babysitting falls through. I practically have to beg hubby to take me out and that usually ends up being dinner and a trip to Wal-Mart. 

When I'm not taking care of my daughter (14 months old), I'm working. When I'm not working, I'm eating or sleeping. With another baby on the way, which we are very excited about, I do fear for my sanity because for quite some time I have been in a state of longing to socialize outside of my home and have some "adult only" time that lasts longer than a couple of hours. 

So how often are you fellow mommies able to get out and do something?

by on Dec. 5, 2010 at 1:24 PM
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by on Dec. 9, 2010 at 1:07 PM

Yeah that is a challenge for me too.  I work from home for a company doing IT consulting.  I had to cut back my hours so I could spend more time with the kids but it never seems enough or a few hours here and there is not enough time to coordinate things around naps etc.  I have a business too and I get out to see other women that way. 

Can you maybe have the play dates at your house so the babysitting is not an issue?  Maybe take your daughter to a park and meet everyone there.  Can you get a mommy's helper on a somewhat regular basis?  This way maybe you could leave the kids with the helper and just take your computer to a bookstore or Starbucks to get out.

It is hard to be 'stuck' inside all day.  If your hours are flexible at all can you work in the evening or early morning and then during the day you could take your daughter and new baby out to the library where other moms are? 

I have found the best combination for me is to have the kids in daycare 2 days a week, my oldest is 4 and she goes to a full day preschool and my little guy goes to an in home lady.  I would love to have them home all the time but in order for me to focus and go to appointments and get 'out' I find that the two days is enough for them to have fun with other kids and I get what I need for ME.  I just have to make sure I take care of myself so that I am a good mom too.  I have #3 on the way so now I will be looking at maybe a part time helper in my home with the two younger ones and have playdates over so they can socialize and keep my DD in preschool.

by on Dec. 11, 2010 at 4:17 PM

Hey, thanks for replying. I'm trying different things. I do have play dates at my house and occasionally get to take my daughter to the homes of others to play. We also go to the park when it's nice. Right now that's not an option since we are in Ohio where it is now getting super cold (subzero temps coming up) and snow and ice storms are in the forecast. As far as our library, the activities they have are for children older than my daughter, so it's going to be a couple more years before she can participate. 

As for helpers. My husband is 100% against daycare and, based on the daycare facilities in my small area, I don't blame him. However, there are some people I trust that he doesn't and that just causes a major issue. Those on the "trust list" have jobs of their own and their own things to take care of. 

The time that I do work is in the evenings. The mornings aren't really an option since my little one gets up anywhere between 7:00 and 9:00. And right now I have to take a short nap during the day because this pregnancy is wearing me out. I also don't sleep well at night. That'll all get better as the pregnancy progresses. I did the same thing with my daughter. 

Basically what I'm after is trying to get something together with the lady friends where we can get away from the hubbies and the kids for just a little while. Last time we were able to do that was back in May. Crazy, but all of my mommy friends are in the same boat with me. 

And you know, I guess it is fair to say that I live in such an economically depressed area that there is just nothing to do for the little ones. The park we have to go to is across the Ohio River and into Kentucky because we just don't have one that is well maintained within my community. Still, even that community doesn't have a lot going on other than a single shopping mall. lol. 

WOW...maybe I'll start something in my community. ;)

And I will add that hubby dates are nice too. He would rather stay in the house, though. Talk about opposite objectives. 

by Group Admin on Jan. 14, 2011 at 3:10 PM

 LOL I am such a homebody. I run my business from home so the only time I get out is to take my kiddos to gymnastics and Church on Sundays. My LONE time is the grocery store and I tend to take as long as I can :). It is really important though to have tiem for you. I know that when I do make a girls night with my friends or sisters that I am  much happier mommy. You should def make that one of your gals this year. Your hubby needs to understand how important it is for you to do this and be able to watch the kids for you. I m very fortunate that my hubby is always the one that is encouraging me to get out with my sisters and friends.

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by on Feb. 8, 2011 at 3:38 PM

I'm in the same boat.  I've been a full time WAHM for 3 years.  I work in Product Management making educational software.  I have 3 kids - ages 11, 7, 4.

It's hard because my DH works outside (so in winter it stinks) and it's an hour drive one way (in good weather) so usually when he gets home the LAST thing he wants to do is go somewhere.  Whereas I am home all day long except when I drop off the kids at school in the morning and I'm DYING to get out!  LOL

When I start getting really antsy, I just take a trip to the grocery store or library by myself after DH gets home.  I also take the kids to church on Sundays.  It's not much, but it's enough for now. 

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:04 PM

You're very much not alone! I feel the same way. My oldest is 3 and our second is 3 months old. I feel like I work all day and everyone who knows me just thinks I'm on Facebook and playing with my kids all day, lol. It is so much work, just trying to work from home. My husband works 7 days a week, so he just wants to be home and relax when he isn't working. Me? I just want to get out of this less than clean house! :) I've been trying to separate work from everything else, but that's tough! My toddler doesn't nap and infant always in my arms (even as I'm typing). I try to make some play dates outside the home in the mornings when I have the car (we have one car and hubby works second shift). I also try to invite friends, grandma, sister over (the people that I don't have to clean the whole house to have over!)

by on Feb. 25, 2012 at 1:22 PM

I think it really depends on your work situation! I just started working from home but it's definitely not full time, I just kind of do it here and there but always when my kids are sleeping or busy (I have a three year old and ten month old). I take them out every morning to either a class or playdate but every afternoon we usually stick around home or play with neighbors. Still, taking them out is nothing like going out alone so I hear what you are all saying!

I recently started getting a babysitter to come for two hours, two afternoons a week. It's not cheap (ends up being $50 a week) and I think to myself that I am paying someone to go to the grocery alone but it's still so nice to just not have to hold a baby or rush through whatever I'm doing! I also try to meet up with friends at least one evening a month though I'm usually so tired after the kids go to bed that I just want to get in my pajamas and read or watch a show.

I'd say to set a goal and work around that. If you want to meet your friends once a month for a glass of wine (or in your case sparkling cider!) or movie, try to organize ahead of time so you have the kids covered and so you have a little time to look forward to going out. I think the looking forward part is the best since it keeps you going and excited each month when that time rolls around.

Good luck and rest when you can! I remember how exhausted I was being pregnant the second time because I was playing with my two year old all day. Hang in there, things will work itself out but try to set your goals and stick to them :)

Work from home in social media-flex hours, no time commitment and no selling!

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