New to group need advice ..have questions, please

[peachface21]

Hello my name is Denise i live in Fla and i lost a baby last March due to puv posterior urethral valves, i knew very early on but decided to keep the baby of course and let God take control..up till now i have not yet visited the cemetary..i cant yet..anyway the question might sound crazy so please help!!!!    Ok i  want to go to the cemetary the day adam died by myself for my self, the only thing is is this..it was Monday night March 24th that i felt the very last kick..he wasnt very active at all due to having 0 fluid from dec till march..so that kick was hard and my whole body went numb like i knew..so my hubby said not to worry just sleep well Tues came and all day i felt nothing so later that night (evening) we went to the er they did the ultra sound and there was no heartbeat..i was admitted and had to deliver  which took hours and hours..so he wasnt delivered till the 26th and was buried on the 27th..when do i go??  I want to not stress over this but cant help it i feel so guilty..

[lizmh0385]

 I am sorry for you loss! I think you should go to the cemetary when you want to. I know that's not much help but, you have to feel confortable about it. You said you haven't been to the cemetary since he passed, but how do you know you would feel confortable going even if you know the exact day he passed away?

We lost our son 1/10/09, I can't believe it has already been a year. I was 22 weeks pregnant when I delivered my son, but my doctor said he probably passed sometime between 16 and 20 weeks. I don't know when he passed because I never felt him kick. For the longest time, I felt guilty about not knowing because I'm the mom, and I should know these things, right? Well, I had to tell myself over and over and over again that there was no way of me knowing there was something wrong or when he passed. Hudson's birthday is 1/10/09 and that is the day we say he passed and was born.

[Isaiahsmom2009]

 I just want to offer my deepest condolences to you and your family, I am indeed sad for your loss, please don't feel guilty about anything that you are not ready to do, right now it is best that you decide what is best for you, when you re ready is the right time, no one decides what is best for you, it is what is in your  heart that is most important, my prayers of peace are with you, there is no set time to do anything, no schedules as we move forward  i healing it is a process and you and your heart decides what is best,  get what you need, when you need it. This is a journey not a race, take your time release the guilt, trust your heart. I am learning this also,it has only been 4 months since our loss and I am working through grief at my own pace, reaching out for help as necessary and moving forward to healing slowly.

 

 

[krissymom]

First I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my son on Nov 8, 2005, he was stillborn @39 weeks due to a severe cord accident. I use to visit his grave but not anymore, its just to painful. This year will make 6 years since the Lord called him home. I think if u feel like going to the grave or not its your choice. If it helps u then go if its to painful then don't go. It's up to u & how u feel about it. I wish u the best.