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Sm living her life around Bm lies! Help

Posted by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:54 AM
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First off i love my 5 years old step son just like i do my own child. I have been with his father since he was 6 months old, and we are now married with one child, and exspecting. His BM and I never got along at first and it was horrible. In the past few years though we have gotten over our problems, and get along. We even do things with each other with our children. The only problem is she is a Huge liar. For instance this whole week she has been sick. I have picked my stepson up from school and taken him to school everyday. I have picked him up at 1:00 in the A.m b/c she was so sick she couldnt even take care of him...But come to find out she hasnt been sick at all.. her old boyfriend is back, and that is why she has not been able to take care of my Step son. I am 7 months prgnat, i work 9 hours a day and have a two year old and a husband to take care of myself...I  feel like i have to jump to her every request. Like this past wednesday was our 4 hour visitation from 6-9. In the middle of the daytim while i was at work she called and asked my husband to come pick up my SS early so she could go to the "doctor". When i got home from work, my husband left to go backk to work... She then call's me and says she is on her way to pick up...when i asked her why we wasnt keeping him all night for visitation, she said she had it all worked out w/ my husband...She was lying, the only reason she wanted my SS, was her boyfriend had his kids that night and they will only visit if my SS is there...She will call on saturday nights on her weeknds and ask us too keep him...We will sit waiting untill midnight and she nevers shows...she says she decided to not go out..only to later find out from her my space page, she has someone else watch him...There is so many more factors it is just crazy...But if i even mention this to her, she will lose it....I need some advice...I have my step son more than her and i feel like she is only into the mom thing for the fun stuff and too look good...please help!

by on May. 8, 2009 at 8:54 AM
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londonstepmommy
by New Member on Jul. 16, 2009 at 11:13 AM

First of all, there is a book out there called "Joint Custody with a Jerk" which has a lot of good ways of handling things like this. I would suggest either going to the library or looking on Ebay to get it for cheap.

Basically, you have no responsibility outside what is court-ordered. I'm not sure if she is the primary residential parent, but if she is, you can collect all of this information and go to the courts to try and have primary residence tranferred to your husband and have her visitation be limited.

It's nice that you guys have a good relationship now, but there's no reason to walk on eggshells to maintain that relationship if she's not acting appropriately and lying is totally unacceptable.

I'm not sure what the legal facts of the case are, but basically I think your husband should write her a letter or e-mail detailing all of what you've said and tell her that he and you do not mind assisting her every once in awhile, but she has a responsibility as a parent and you have your own children to keep...let me know if you want to chat, okay?

Andrea [London's Stepmommy ♥]
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