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My ds is so negative :(

Posted by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:00 PM
  • 3 Replies

DH and I recently noticed that ds has been very negative lately.  Everything is "I can't do it" or "I'll never be able to _________".  He used to be the child who wanted to do everything himself, but now we have to dag on near beg him to at least try.  I'm not sure if it's because of dd being born last June or if it's something to expect from a 3 year old, but I'm a bit concerned.  I had mentioned it at his 3 y.o. appt. and the ped. pretty much said to give him lots of encouragement.  We always have encouraged him to do things on his own and are still doing so, but it's almost a fight to get him to try...and what makes it worst is some of the things he used to do, he has stopped doing because "he can't".

Any suggestions?

---Someone asked me, what's one thing that you wish you could change about yourself and before thinking, I said I wish I wasn't so compassionate.  I wished that when someone came to be with a personal problem I didn't take it on as my own burden.  A voice said to me "But haven't I been compassionate towards you?"  Just then I realized that being compassionate and sensitive is gift from God that I've learned to love and appreciate...

by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:00 PM
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Replies (1-3):
orange4agua72
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:04 PM

 When my now almost 5yo went through that phase, we sent her to the corner everytime she said "I can't...." She stopped doing it really fast, cause she knew she'd get introuble for saying it! Also, if your son's old enough, make sure you ask him "WHY?" like why does he think he can't do something.... it'll make him think about what he says a bit more...

Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com 


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TheMillerFamily
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 1:05 PM

Give him TONS of positive reinforcement. With my son he just tells us no when we tell him to do something so we just keep telling him he needs to do it and when he does we tell him thank you and good job but when he does something the first time we make a big deal out of it and clap and give high fives.

He loves it and the more we do that the more willing he is to do things. Some people think its silly but young children sometimes need motivation to do things and when they get that "hey great job" or "wow, look at what you did, thats great" and a high five or applause it does wonders for their self esteem and helps them realize that they can do things good! 


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Cadance
by on Jan. 25, 2010 at 3:32 PM

Our youngest son went through this when our daughter was born.  Just keep helping him to a point on doing things and we just would say show me how to do this and he would (after he had said he couldn't)  Then we would say see you do know how to do it and you did a great job!!  I hope things get better just give it time..  You can also have him help with the baby (getting things for her helping you throw things away, also helping with other tasks around the house) 

Mommy to 3 very active boys and one little girl!!
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