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I need some advice!

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 2:54 PM
  • 7 Replies

Ok, so I am getting married July 31st of this year and I've been getting names and addresses of friends and family who will be attending.  My SO's family is a LOT larger than mine and he's already got close to 100 people coming.  My family consists of my mom, twin sister and younger sister, as well as my aunt, my uncle, and a couple of cousins.  I also have 4 friends coming, maybe 5.  My younger sister isn't sure if she'll be able to make it due to school. My uncle has already said he was coming and I'm waiting for a reply from my aunt and cousins. My dad was never in my life and he's still not in my son's life now, so I'm not going to invite him.  Now for the problem...my mom. 

When I first starting dating SO, she hated him.  No reason in particular; she just did.  She hated my first boyfriend, too(I've only ever been with one other guy; SO is my second).  I believe it's because she married my father out of spite(she was 19 and my grandmother told her if she married my dad, she'd be kicked out.  She married him and ended up living with his family, even though she hated them and didn't really love my dad).  All her other relationships failed, mainly because the men were abusers.  She's a complete man-basher/man-hater and has always been like that. 

Anyway, I've been with SO 5 years and for the past...I wanna say 13-14 months, she's actually changed and started being nice to SO and whatnot.  She bought him Christmas gifts and stuff for Easter.  However, I think she's only being nice because she knows if she continues to be hateful and bash him, she won't get to see her grandson(we live 6 hours apart). 

When I emailed her to let her know we finally set a date and asked if she and my twin would be attending(my twin sis is deaf and still lives at home), I got this as a response to my email: "I found the DVD I was looking for."

I really don't know what to think or even how to respond to that.  I asked about attending my wedding and she talks about a DVD.  I'm worried she's going to revert back to her old ways and I'm kind of sad and disappointed now.  What do you guys think I should do?


by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 2:54 PM
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Replies (1-7):
StephanAndCoral
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:00 PM

I don't really know but one suggestion maybe to deliver an invitation to her through the mail or by hand making it more personal and taken the time showing that you want her and your sister there. Good luck.

linseyfrayer
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:03 PM

the only thing i could possibly say is just tell her straight up that she is hurting you by not even acknowledge your wedding and that you are happy and you wish she could be happy for you! she maybe afraid that what happened to her will happen to you as well she doesn't want you to be miserable or get hurt. try to get her to open up. i hope this helps some and i pray all goes well!

savannabooker
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:07 PM

Could she of accidentally sent that to you when she meant to send it to someone else? I know I have done that before

jazztastic
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:18 PM

I doubt it.  She was looking for a certain DVD a few days ago and I guess she just found it.

jazztastic
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 3:25 PM

I guess all I can do is send her an invite and see what happens.  I just hope she doesn't revert back to her hateful and angry ways again.

LivinDeadGurl
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 8:27 PM

I would just send her an invite and perhaps tell her how much it would mean to you if she showed up. Then leave the ball in her court.

My mom was the same way about my wedding. If I brought it up, she would change the subject. What really bothered me was she didn't even call me to tell me she couldn't make it. She called my sister and told her that she couldn't.

jazztastic
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 8:39 PM

My mom has my sister message me on Facebook and tell me that their van was acting up and she doesn't know if she can make it.  My wedding isn't until July.  I think that gives her time to get it fixed or sell it and buy a new vehicle.  I just hope it doesn't turn into a huge disaster with her.

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