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Need some advice on this one

Posted by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:04 PM
  • 11 Replies

I am a single mom of a 3 yo son.  He goes to his dad's house every other weekend for 2 days.  He left today without any complaints or crying, and he is supposed tobe gone until next Friday.  I called to check on him, and he would barely talk to me.  He kept saying "I want to go home."  He has never done this before.  It worries me.

I talked with his dad and told him if he keeps saying the same thing and crying tomorrow that he will have to come home.  I feel bad for cutting his time short, but I don't want to hear my son crying like that.  I just don't know what to do.  Should I just let him stay and check on him daily to see if he has settled in, or should I just have his dad bring him back home?

by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:04 PM
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Replies (1-10):
jedi_momma2
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:09 PM

Is he close to his dad? If he is I think he will be fine, but if he hasnt established a good relationship with his father yet, I would say bring him home and slowly let him get used to being with his dad.  

MissiHampt
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:10 PM

Is his dad a GOOD dad?  Is he well cared for?  If so, leave it be and just try not to stress yourself.  Dad is gonna have to figure out how to handle things like this on his own. 

If you suspect there is a problem there or the relationship between the two is less than great, that's another matter entirely....

Jacinda26
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:12 PM

He goes there every other weekend, but during the time he is away from him his dad doesn't do much with him.  His dad is involved with him, but not a lot.  He has just never done this before. He hasn't been away from me for that long since he was an infant.

MissiHampt
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:15 PM

Is it possible that you've been stressing over this longer visit and he's feeding off of your emotions?

Quoting Jacinda26:

He goes there every other weekend, but during the time he is away from him his dad doesn't do much with him.  His dad is involved with him, but not a lot.  He has just never done this before. He hasn't been away from me for that long since he was an infant.


Missi....loving wife to Jason, mommy to Ricky & Logan.  I'm a cloth diapering, baby wearing, breastfeeding till baby wants to quit, homeschooling, non-circumcising, anti-cry it out, part time working, animal loving, trashy romance novel reading, farm raised hillbilly.  I have had Meningitis and Swine Flu and lived to tell about it.  Any questions?

jedi_momma2
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:16 PM

As long as he isn't neglecting your son, and if you trust him enough, let your son stay he will have to get used to staying with his dad anyways, better sooner than later, I would be worried too, but he needs daddy time too. The reason I asked if your son is close to his dad, is because if their not close your son isnt going to be comfortable with him.  

xxLukesMamaxx
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:16 PM

He should spend as much time with his dad as he can. A lot of dads don't want to spend time with their kids, since his DOES he should stay with him IMO

NikLvsNick
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:18 PM

 Aww mama, I know exactly what you're going through. Do you think dad can handle him for that long without you? If this is the first time your son has been away from you since he was an infant it could possibly be scary for him. (My kiddos see their dad once every 2-3 weeks for 1-2 days and he never calls inbetween that time. And when they are on break it's rare that he'll actually see them then as well.) If you think dad can handle it, your son might need a day or 2 to adjust to this new setting. If you don't think dad can handle it then it might be best if your son comes home

BrownEyedGirl86
by Silver Member on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:18 PM

why not just stop by his house tomorrow to see him for yourself and decide from there - BUMP

Jacinda26
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:20 PM


Quoting xxLukesMamaxx:

He should spend as much time with his dad as he can. A lot of dads don't want to spend time with their kids, since his DOES he should stay with him IMO


I am always thinking about the fact that his dad does show an interest in wanting to spend time with him (because some dads don't). 

Jacinda26
by on Apr. 1, 2010 at 10:24 PM


Quoting NikLvsNick:

 Aww mama, I know exactly what you're going through. Do you think dad can handle him for that long without you? If this is the first time your son has been away from you since he was an infant it could possibly be scary for him. (My kiddos see their dad once every 2-3 weeks for 1-2 days and he never calls inbetween that time. And when they are on break it's rare that he'll actually see them then as well.) If you think dad can handle it, your son might need a day or 2 to adjust to this new setting. If you don't think dad can handle it then it might be best if your son comes home

He sees him every 2weeks, and doesn't do much in between.  I think it is probably my feelings toward his dad because of how I don't get much help from him, and my son may be feeling that.  I try to hide it but it is hard.

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