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Do you think this will work? (long, sorry) (PIOG)

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:17 PM
  • 4 Replies

Ok, let me give a little background here. I met my XBFF when we were 16. A few years later, she had a son. They moved out of state, then when she was pregnant with her first daughter, her and her SO split up. Well, after she was born, their dad had them for a visit. He noticed what appeared to be bug bites all over his son, and they didn't look good, so he decided to take him to the doctor. Well, the doctor started questioning him, then all of a sudden CPS was there to take custody of the kids. It turns out that the "bug bites" were actually pinch marks. Well, he was blaming her, she was blaming him, so they ended up doing polygraphs on them. He passed, she failed. He was awarded full custody of the kids. Later on, he was willing to allow her to see them, and she just pretty much acted like they didn't exist. When she would see them, an hour later, she would want him to come back and pick them up. So, needless to say, this is why she is my XBFF. Fast forward to present time. She had 2 more kids with 2 more men (one she was married to). Well, I had heard from another former friend of ours (this was actually before she was pregnant with the youngest one) that she didn't take care of her 4 year old daughter. She said the little girl (who weighed like literally 115 lbs at 4) was wearing nothing but a T-shirt that was REALLY dirty, then when she went back there 3 days later, she was STILL wearing the same thing. She was going to report her, but she left that place the next day, and nobody knew where she went. Well then, right before the youngest baby was born, CPS FINALLY stepped in and took the lil girl from her, then as soon as the baby was born, they took her from the hospital. They gave her chances to get the kids back, but she pretty much did the same thing with them that she did with the oldest two, and lost all custody of them too. They had both girls in the same foster home, and initially the family was going to adopt both of them, but ended up not wanting the older one for whatever reason. Well, I have never met this lil girl since I stopped talking to her after her oldest 2 were taken from her. There is no way I could afford to adopt her either. I am very worried about her growing up in foster care though, and having nobody, then turning 18, and just being dumped pretty much to fend for herself. I am considering calling CPS and asking if there is ANY way I could arrange visits with her. I am more than willing for them to be supervised. Whatever it takes. Here is my other dilemma. I don't even know her last name! I know her first name, her mother's full name, and both their DOB. They share the same birthday. And if I couldn't have visits with her, then maybe I could write a letter that could be placed in her file and given to her when she turns 18 with my name and DOB so she could find me. I just want this little girl to know she has someone to turn to. So, what do you think my chances are of being able to have a relationship with her?

Natural birthing, Anti CIO, Breastfeeding, Co-sleeping, Baby-wearing, AP, Non-circing, Delayed Vaxing, ERFing,, Disposable diapering Mommy to Collin 03/08/09 I won't push my views on you, so don't push yours on me, but I suggest doing research! It's a BOY!!! Due Sept 18!baby growth

by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:17 PM
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Replies (1-4):
mommy2boyz143
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:23 PM

 I dont know but i feel horrible for all 4 of her children and hope there is a way you can be there for her!

Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:23 PM

 I think its a long shot, but it might work. I had to contact my old caseworker to find out information about my old foster sister. we were in teh same house, but she was taken away b/c our mom had 6 kids to care for, and my foster sister was threatening to kill herself.. she was placed in a hospital for a few weeks, and then placed with a foster couple- they only wanted/were allowed one child at a time, and she needed more attention than those in the "group homes"... but i was able to contact my old caseworker and find out her info. letters are monitered through her fosterparents, of course- but we came from samiliar backgrounds, and when she was living with us, she was like my best friend/little sister (i was 16/17, she was 12-- although her life made her seem like she was my age- sex, drugs, parents, etc... it was sad)

the least you can do is try it and if it comes back as a no- then you've tried right? at times, thats the most that people can do.

mommy3378
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:27 PM

I have no idea, you might have to be willing to have yourself completely checked out by CPS and the foster placement if its possible to happen. I do commend you though and think it is really great of you wanting to have a relationship with the little girl and wanting to help her in some way.

Enyo
by on Apr. 19, 2010 at 7:33 PM

 IDk what to tell you but pray. You could try and get in touch with the child. They may not let you visit because you are not kin to her. The very sad fact is it may be out of your hands. There is no harm in trying

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