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The great -SAHM or working mom debate...plus a little venting.

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:24 AM
  • 24 Replies

So I was over my inlaws the other day, talking with my MIL. And she's going on and on about how everyone always told her she was meant to be a SAHM and all of this crapola. 

I work out of the home. Full time. Obviously I miss my son tons when I am at work. And I always feel bad when he asks me to stay at home with him (he's just about three). I usually cry when I have to go to work. It's pretty bad. 

I did get to be a SAHM last year when I got laid off. And it was fine financially, but I know that my working will be able to put us ahead faster and give us things we may not have had otherwise. 

So I guess all I'm looking for is a little love in saying- it's okay to go to work. lol. Plus I like having that sense of independence. I always felt silly asking my guy for money for something! 

by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:24 AM
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Replies (1-10):
sunshinemom614
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:32 AM

hey i am sorry you feel this way and there is nothing wrong with being a working mom you are doing it for him any how right? so no need to feel guilty and at least your son will grow up knowing how independent momma is lol. and i have never worked a day in my life so i don't know that sense of independence you speak of so there's one thing you over us sahms. and your son will appreciate it because you were able to take care of him financially and spend time with him at home whenever you got a chance. so don't feel bad it is ok to work and be a mom as well, oh and i am not bashing sahm's or anything lol i am a sahm myself.

john2007
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:38 AM

lol ty. i just...it's so annoying for her to rub it in my face like she was meant to be a sahm. no mom wants to leave their kids. some moms have to work and some moms want to work. i'm one who wants to. i should just tell her to shush next time.lol. 

Jewels11
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:45 AM

I would love to be a SAHM but with our finances its NOT possible. =( My baby will be born Oct 2nd and I'll take off 7 wks but after that I HAVE to go back to working full time. If not I'll lose my health benfits and so will baby. DH doesn't work full time and doesn't have enough hours to be considered full time so therefore we can't be added to his health insurance. I think its prefectly fine for both parents to be working full or part time with a baby. This day in age sometimes we have no other choice. I'm in NO WAY bashing SAHMs (cause I'd LOVE to be one) either but i'm saying don't feel guilty for doing something that has to be done to support yourselves. I'm sure gonna miss and probably cry every day I have to leave for work to once baby is born cause I know it'll be hard. But I'm doing this so we can give our baby what he/she needs and because I have to otherwise again I'll lose my health insurance.

john2007
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:49 AM

i know how that goes with the health insurance crap! ugh. you will miss your baby. it's true. but at least it's for a good reason!
I was only able to take off two weeks when my son was born. i had to go back to work. it was really sad. :-(
Think good thoughts though and congratulations on your upcoming birth!!!! 

sahm_of_rj
by on May. 2, 2010 at 9:50 AM

 There's nothing wrong with choosing to work in my opinion.  I choose to stay home, because that's what I feel is best for us.  Sometimes it's financially tight and we still have a living room full of hand-me-down furniture, it can be really frustrating, so I totally understand the appeal of working and bringing in extra income! Not to mention college isn't cheap! For us though we get more than enough from me staying at home to make up for the financial aspect.  Nobody can tell you what is right for you, that's for you to decide!

HotMommaStout
by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:13 AM

It's okay to work!

I have always been a stay at home mom, but next year I will be working, and my youngest will only be three.

Just make the best of the time you do have together :)

MaTTsBBmAmA
by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:19 AM

I stay at home with the kids but I have four and daycare would take my entire check every week. My second oldest starts kindergarten this year and I'm debating putting my 3 year olds in preschool (They will be four right after school starts) when she starts school if I do I will def be getting a job who doesn't want extra money right? You shouldn't feel bad for making sure your son has everything he wants and needs I love being with my kids all day every day but there are def days I wish I had even a part time job just for a tiny break through out my week and I don't feel guilty for wanting to work.

Jewels11
by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:21 AM


Quoting john2007:

i know how that goes with the health insurance crap! ugh. you will miss your baby. it's true. but at least it's for a good reason!
I was only able to take off two weeks when my son was born. i had to go back to work. it was really sad. :-(
Think good thoughts though and congratulations on your upcoming birth!!!! 


Yea I'll definitely miss my lil one while I'm at work. I know I'll be calling home whenever I can to check in though. =) Awww wow only 2 wks??? You didn't get maternity leave at your job? At my job for natural (vaginal)  birth its 6 wks and for C-Section is 8 wks leave.  I pretty much have to use my own vacation time for the first week so I get regular pay then I get my maternity/ Short term disability pay for the next 5 wks. Then the extra week I'm taking off gotta use my vacation time again to get regular pay. Always thinking good thoughts!  Thanks I'm so excited but this heat this summer is gonna kill me! =(

john2007
by on May. 3, 2010 at 6:53 AM


Quoting Jewels11:


Quoting john2007:

 


Yea I'll definitely miss my lil one while I'm at work. I know I'll be calling home whenever I can to check in though. =) Awww wow only 2 wks??? You didn't get maternity leave at your job? At my job for natural (vaginal)  birth its 6 wks and for C-Section is 8 wks leave.  I pretty much have to use my own vacation time for the first week so I get regular pay then I get my maternity/ Short term disability pay for the next 5 wks. Then the extra week I'm taking off gotta use my vacation time again to get regular pay. Always thinking good thoughts!  Thanks I'm so excited but this heat this summer is gonna kill me! =(

at my old job there was no leave. but now i work for the county and i would get leave. oyh. 

i know how that summer/pregnancy thing goes. lol. i think you'll end up the same way i did seeing how it's already a billion degrees out! the summer i was pregnant (2007) it reached up towards 100! ewwww. lol. 

and yes, i call my baby every single day when i'm at work! he usually just tells on daddy (daddy gave me chocolate, daddy gave me chips, i'm out on the porch with no socks lol). 

It's lots of fun though. you'll <3 it!

john2007
by on May. 3, 2010 at 6:54 AM

Speaking of college, did you know by the time they say my son (Who is 3 now) goes to college, they estimate the cost to be close to a million dollars. wtf. i hope i get a raise soon. lol. 

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