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The One That Got Away-With a Twist

Posted by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  • 1 Replies

I know there is a post that is about "the one that got away", but this is a little different.  I'm just curious if anyone else is experiencing this or if I'm the only one.

I met my dh in high school when I was 15.  So there were no loves of my life before him.  I had boyfriends, but I was 15!!!  Anyway, I was so obsessed with him; about getting him, being with him and loving him...now that I think back on it, I think it was too much too soon.  But we got together and after a year I got pregnant and he stayed with me, even though he wasn't too sure that we should have kept her.  We did and I graduated high school while he dropped out.  Sometimes he likes to blame that choice on me bacause of our dd but he was already heading in that direction before we were even together. 

We got married 2 years later, I was 19 and he 21.  Wedding was great and all that, but I REALLY regret doing it at that age now.  Soon after we had our two other daughters and it's just been such an emotional rollercoaster for me, these past ten years.  There have been a lot of problems (he's a recovering alcoholic and has used drugs) but some good times too.  But lately, now that I'm older, he isn't my whole world.  And this causes a lot of tension between us.  

Now I don't put him first, or even second.  I don't care how that sounds, but he never thought of me first, or my feelings when he did the things he did.  So I find myself wondering more and more, what if we hadn't gotten married?  Is there another guy out there that would treat me better, with the respect I deserve?  My mom and sister always tell me that I should leave him and find a better guy, but how many guys want a ready made family and a woman that couldn't even bear them children (I've had my tubes tied).  I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life if my marriage doesn't work, but I don't like the idea of relying on a man again.  But I am so curious about what its like to be with someone else.  It is so confusing!!!  Is anyone else goint through a similar situation? 


by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:46 AM
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richardsgirl16
by on May. 2, 2010 at 10:48 AM

SAME HERE! I am so curious as to what my life will be like if we divorce. I picture myself having fun and being more relaxed instead of depressed and angry all the time. I got married when we were 16&18 so I really wonder if it was a mistake.

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