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Am I wrong to request....?

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:25 AM
  • 67 Replies

So my parents-in-law own a trailer at a campground/resort type place on a lake. They never go there except to open it for the season and close it at the end. My hubby, kids and I are going to be out there this coming weekend and so will my SIL and her new bf of about 2 months. (Her 4yr old daughter will be with her father.)

Is it wrong that we request that my SIL and her bf sleep in different beds? The trailer has 4 double beds in it, so there is plenty of room for everyone.

My worry is about my 5 yr old who is very observant. Recently he flipped out because my cousin (who has an 8 yr old) just got married to the guy whom her son calls "dad" even though he bilogically isn't. My son insisted that they had to have already been married because they were parents. (As we have taught him that babies come to mommies and daddies when they love each other). I don't want to be over protective or strange, but at 5 my son is old enough to remember this and possibly ask questions and etc... My biggest reason is that we have only even met her bf one time, so its not like he has been around a long time and they are in a serious relationship or anything.

Any thoughts?



by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Rae-Rae_Kitty
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:29 AM

 I don't think you would be out of line to request that your SIL and her BF sleep in different beds. Just explain to her why you're requesting that & she should understand since she's a mom too. I would also ask her not to have sex with him in the trailer because of the kid. Some ppl would think "oh the kids asleep, we can do whatever" but I think that wouldn't be right since your kid is so curious and attentive.

TempestRayne
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:30 AM

I think that explaining that mommies and daddies can love eachother without being married shouldn't be too hard. However, I don't think it hurts to ask your in laws to suggest that she and her bf not share a room for propiety's sake.  Just remember, they are adults and are capable of making their own choices and your in laws may NOT have a problem with them sharing a room.

sweettigeress
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:30 AM

How old is SIL?? If's she's an adult, then yes, you are wrong to request it.

LuckyTat
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:31 AM
While I see your point, your son will have to learn that people do have children out of wedlock. I think a big factor of this would be how old are they? If teenagers, i see no problem with you asking. If they are adults though, maybe when it's bed time they can just go into separate rooms, and when your son is in his room they can go about thei business. This way he thinks they didn't sleep together.
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LuckyTat
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:34 AM
I just realized she has a kid so they're probably not teens. Lol. I would say there no harm in asking, but I wouldn't expect it, and I definitely don't think you should be upset if they refuse..


Quoting LuckyTat:

While I see your point, your son will have to learn that people do have children out of wedlock. I think a big factor of this would be how old are they? If teenagers, i see no problem with you asking. If they are adults though, maybe when it's bed time they can just go into separate rooms, and when your son is in his room they can go about thei business. This way he thinks they didn't sleep together.

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proudmommy1210
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:34 AM

She is 33. I think her bf is like 28. There aren't really seperate rooms. There is the inside of the trailer and the porch which is seperated with a glass slider door. There are 2 beds on the inside and 2 on the porch.

I do realize that one day he wil have to know that people have kids before marriage, however I dont think 5 is the right age for that.

valrubio
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:36 AM

I think you absolutely should ask them to do that. I have 5 little girls and we try to teach them that only married men and women sleep in the same bed. I would never allow one of my unmarried relatives to sleep in the same bed under the same roof as my children.

sweettigeress
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:39 AM

You cannot refuse anyone to do anything if you are not under your own roof. 

Quoting valrubio:

I think you absolutely should ask them to do that. I have 5 little girls and we try to teach them that only married men and women sleep in the same bed. I would never allow one of my unmarried relatives to sleep in the same bed under the same roof as my children.


JuneWestling
by on May. 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM

Nope I don't care how old you are. Not married not sleeping together in same bed in my home/tent. I even told my mommy dearest if she and her friends come to visit they would have to sleep in different beds. She laughed but said ok. 

barrelracer1699
by Bronze Member on May. 24, 2010 at 11:40 AM

I think that since it is your son that it wouldn't be wrong to ask just for the sake of your son!!! What is 1 weekend that they can't sleep in the same bed??

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