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Should I tell DH?

Posted by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:35 PM
  • 27 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you tell your DH his dad's health is failing while he is stationed overseas and homesick?

Options:

Yes

No

Other....


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Total Votes: 74

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I'm not one to keep things from my DH EVER...but I am not sure if I should in this case or not...

My husband is in Korea until September...He's stationed there and the boys and I are in Florida. He is REALLY missing us, and kinda bummed and a little down right now. Well his mom just called me and my FIL who has a bad heart had a check up this week and his heart is now working at only 27% capacity. The Dr. said keep your nitro on you, but the next attack will probably be your last. So he's basically a ticking time bomb and He's only 55.

My MIL said she wanted me to decide whether or not I should tell DH or not. I said maybe I should wait until he comes home...but what if it's too late?

Should I tell DH and risk upsetting him and stressing him out while he's so far away from home or should I wait and risk something happening and it being more of a shock if it does? I mean it wouldn't be a total shock because we knew this was coming sooner or later..> But I just worry that if I tell DH it will really hurt him and make him even more homesick. What would you do??

Susannah

by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
JBDslittlemam08
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:37 PM

 Typically if it's something like that won't they send a soldier home for emergency leave? There are tons of people I know who got emergency leave because of a severe family illness.

JenniL05
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:39 PM

I would tell him. What if, God forbid, his father passed and your husband found out he could have said goodbye but you kept it from him? I think it is only fair to tell the truth. I wish your FIL the best of luck!

BugsySG
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:39 PM

I would say definately tell him, because if you don't and it is too late you risk him being upset that you knew and didn't tell him. At least if you tell him now even if it upsets him (which being that its a sad event it probably will) he will have the time and ability to accept it and be more prepared when something does happen. And then if his dad does make it until he comes home he has one more thing to be thankful for, and if he doesn't than he can be thankful for his supportive wife that was there for him and his family while it was all happening!

HotMommaStout
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:40 PM

No because he's (my FIL)not in the hospital or anything...he's just walking around living his life and waiting for his heart to finally give out. If his dad dies or is hospitalized because it looks like the end then they MIGHT give DH leave...but they don't have to. If me or one of the boys dies they have to...but parents are a gray area.

Susannah

sweettigeress
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:41 PM

He has a right to know.

JMKristy
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:41 PM

I know if I were in your shoes, my husband would be very upset if he were to find out I knew his fathers condition and didn't tell him. I don't know the military term for it, but cant you contact someone on base to help him through this? and like the previous poster said, maybe he could get a leave...

mommyjenn84
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:41 PM

i have not been in this pissition. and im not the wife of someone so far away. but ill i keep thinking is this. how would you feel if he did die and they didnt get one last chance, even by phone, to make sure everything theyll ever need to say to eachother? and what would he do or how would he feel if he found out you knew for so long and didnt tell him? good luck

rpowers12
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:43 PM

I think I would because if something happened then he would be upset you didn't tell him. Maybe he could get some family emergency leave or something to come home for a bit so he could at least see his dad once last time incase something did happen.

swaney06
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:43 PM


Quoting JBDslittlemam08:

 Typically if it's something like that won't they send a soldier home for emergency leave? There are tons of people I know who got emergency leave because of a severe family illness.

i was thinkin ght esame thing..wouldnt the let him come home just for a month or so to spend the last minutes with his father

saduncan
by on May. 24, 2010 at 6:45 PM

You HAVE to tell him.  If anything happens and he finds out that you knew and kept it from him, he will resent you.  He can get emergency leave or they may send him home depending on the time frame.  You need to tell him asap.

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