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love.. or so i thought ?

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:25 AM
  • 14 Replies

I just moved from california where i was born and raised to minnesota for love.. i think? Im feeling just absoultely alone personally and in my current relationship. I could really go for some advice ladies.

 so heres the juicy background story, me and my now "bf"/ex husband we were married for a year but split. I found him cheating on me on myspace it was devastaing especially him confiding to other women about how much he loved his daughter but never gave us the time of the day gahh! I guess to sum this up it was a very rocky year of my life. He decides then to take off and leave me with my 1 year old and move cross-country to MN. We talked very rarely through out a course of 3 years there were a few attempts of saying we missed each other but he would just stop calling and that was that. Meanwhile i was leading a faboulous and fun life with me and my daughter, wonderful career everything seemed good but no mr. right so i was lonely and desperaqtely wanted my dd to have a father in her life.  I then randomly get a letter from him saying everything i had soo longed to hear we start talking again, re kindling everything is going great. Then some how we made the leap i packed up everything into two bags and moved to MN. Im now here and i feel like i made the biggest mistake in the world! Him and my daughter are absolutely brillant together and i couldnt be happier but with him and me NOPE!

I feel like im living with a roommate not a lover dont get me wrong theres no arguements in fact we get along great like best friends and hes a wonderful dad but in the relationship total failure. We hardly ever talk when we do its small chat and brief when hes not eating or sleeping or playing a video game etc. Theres no passion between us no flirting kissing sex is none! we lack intimacy in all aspects and im absolutely miserable!! Ive confronted him on this many times asked all the questions and have poured my heart out to him several times about this and nothing has changed he swears he will changed but whenever we talk he gets deffensive makes up excuses and then back to the same old routine. It has brought up soo many insecurities for me i feel unattractive, boring, sad lonely and now i have all these suspesions of him cheating now!

my question should i stay or should i go? Ive tried to out weigh the pros and cons but nothing in my mind justifies taking away my daughters daddy, who shes been waiting years for.

by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
HotMommaStout
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:31 AM

It's a tough call...how long have you been in Minnesota?

xldyxlck
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:36 AM

 Right! ugh im soo torn about this. i really feel i lead this double life now where im this happy go lucky mommy but the other half of me is this tragic wreck as soon as shes in bed im usually alone and crying

xldyxlck
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:38 AM

 Ive been in minnesota since decemeber

HotMommaStout
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:38 AM

Where is he when you are alone in bed and crying?

HotMommaStout
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:39 AM

Have you thought about breaking up and moving out but staying in the area?

xldyxlck
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:41 AM

 He is passed out right next to me, sometimes he will wake up ill try to talk to him but he says nothing

xldyxlck
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:45 AM

Ive given it thought but the only reason i came him was for him. I really dont enjoy being here at all theres no family friends support anything for me here

HotMommaStout
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:47 AM

Right but I meant because of his relationship with your daughter, since that is what's keeping you there anyway...

xldyxlck
by on May. 26, 2010 at 2:51 AM

I feel like even if i did stay here he still wouldnt see her once we split because thats exactly what he did last time

crys26
by on May. 26, 2010 at 3:00 AM

I would say leave that house if you are not 100% happy. You don't have to move out of state but if you stay it will not help anything at all.

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