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*HELP!!!* What to say about death PIOG

Posted by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:17 AM
  • 3 Replies

I just got my nephew who is 8 year old dropped off at my door instead of him going to school because his grandmom just passed away. My brother and his wife was driving down to the hospital ( over an hour away) and he is emotional and I know he is still too young to fully understand. My other nephew who just turned 13 is in school and doesn't know yet and is most likely coming to my house after school. I am not sure if his parents are going to call and talk to him before (he has a cellphone) or if I am going to have to tell him. Since his brother knows there is no way of keeping if from him until his parents come home.   I gave him a huge hug and held him for a little while when he first came here but I am not sure what to say or do.

what do I do

What do I do when my other nephew comes, how do I break the news

They are VERY close with their grandmom

by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:17 AM
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Replies (1-3):
TempestRayne
by on May. 26, 2010 at 9:24 AM

well, 8 years ol is old enough to understand. and the 13 year old will likely know something is up when he has to go to your house so he will ask. be short and to the point and make yourself seem "available" to answer any questions they have.  that's about it. People process things differently, so one may need extra hugs and cuddles while another may want to be left alone.

JMKristy
by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:06 AM

My sons just lost their great grandpa, whom they were also very close with. They are 7 and 9 1/2. It was hard, but we just came out with it... they were both devastated. we told them it's okay to cry, and cried with them. I think the only thing you can do is be honest. answer any questions. and just be there emotionally for them. let them know its okay to cry and okay to be upset....

key2ynot
by on May. 26, 2010 at 11:11 AM

well for starters - did the parents tell the 8 yr old anything at all - how much and what kind of detail?  I would take your cue from them - you wouldn't want to handle it in a way they don't want. My personal opinion is that the parents should be the ones actually telling their children about the death - it shouldn't be your job to do so.   When my grandfather died, I was 7 and we had family at the house watching us so I knew something was up - but no one told us what exactly until my parents came home and informed me themselves. 

That being said, I would keep it short and simple.  Explain what happened and let them ask any questions they need to.  Let them know that whatever they are feeling - anger, sadness, etc - is ok and that you are there for them. 

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