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Feeling a little upset

Posted by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:25 PM
  • 6 Replies

So I have been having a lot of misc. feelings lately. My husband has a little 8 yr old boy from a previous marriage. He is autistic, and has ADHD. He is on med. for the ADHD. Not so strong that it turns him into a zombie though, he still acts like a kid. :) But anyways, he was doing very bad in school. He was constantly getting in trouble, his color chart was almost ALWAYS on red which is the worst color he can get. He was doing bad on his schoolwork. I got 2 calls from his school saying he was doing bad, and if he kept going at that rate he would not pass. He already had to do kindergarten twice. So my husband decided to let him go live with his sons grandmother (ex wifes mother) for a couple months to see if he would do better there because my ss and his grandmother have a very strong bond. He started to do SO MUCH better. He is reading! We used to try our hardest to work with him, but my husband works during the day then has a class he does at night. So it was just me and with a 2 yr old running around it was getting hard to help my ss. Plus at that time we had another baby on the way, I wasnt sure how I was going to help him after the baby came. So my husband decided to let the grandparents adopt him. I told him I really didnt feel right about having him do that but it was HIS choice. I felt like I had no place to say anything. And I try to talk about it with him but he doesnt seem to want to. I feel like I did so much to try to help his son, but couldnt and feel so horrible about it. But my husband makes me feel like I shouldnt even be aloud to talk about the adoption that just happened. I dont think he means to make me feel that way. I just wish I could figure out a way to talk to him about it without making things awkward. I know when he let the grandparents adopt him he was doing it for the best of his son. Which I think it really was for the best. My ss seems so happy where he is and is doing so much better in school and behaves much better. He let them adopt so that he wouldnt have to pay childsupport because if he would have had to pay that we would have LITERALLY lost our house. :( 

toddler girlZoey Michelle


baby girlAllison Nicole

by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:25 PM
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Replies (1-6):
lillady398
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:39 PM

Well, it seems like everything worked out for the best. You shouldn't feel bad for not be able to help due to the fact you have your hands full.

terbear0821
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:46 PM
When he grows up he'll understand, and probably say thank you for realizing what was best for him and helped him succeed.
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LasFox
by on Jun. 27, 2010 at 11:50 PM

Every family has its hardships.  I think you did what was best for your son (stepson) in that situation.  Obviously you care about him, or you wouldn't feel so bad!

Good luck,

~Kate

 

coralbeth
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:23 AM
For your ss I think everything worked out for the best. But how can child support be so much that you'd lose your house? I mean if dad provides everything but food and a roof and the kid is only there during school days the child support shouldn't be much.
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TempestRayne
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 10:52 AM

Well, I'm gld that everything wored out. Your hubby knows you are there, just give him reminders every so often that you are here to talk if he needs to and that will be that.

Zoeysmommy1023
by on Jun. 28, 2010 at 12:23 PM


Quoting coralbeth:

For your ss I think everything worked out for the best. But how can child support be so much that you'd lose your house? I mean if dad provides everything but food and a roof and the kid is only there during school days the child support shouldn't be much.

They do it by looking at his gross income, when ss mother had custody she got about 300 in child support a month, which we couldnt afford that at all. He just BARELY makes enough just to pay for the bills and food here.


toddler girlZoey Michelle


baby girlAllison Nicole

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