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Why wont my mom love my son??

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:29 AM
  • 10 Replies

when i was 17 i got pregnant with a guy my parents didnt like cuz he was 22 at the time (their only reason for not liking him was the age difference). anyway my mother too tried to convince me to have an abortion. she had sent me to a private catholic school as a kid and was taught that abortion was a sin! so she was a complete hiopcrit on her part. well eventually i moved in with my bf. i come from a big family i have a twin sis and a 12 yr old brother. my parents have always been extreme and go on and on about the dumbest stuff when i was a kid like if i said a bad word they would drop wuteverr they were doing and flip the f*cuk out. then if i tried to apologize they wouldnt forgive me. ive always felt like the black sheep in my family so i became rebellious. so that just fueled the fire and they tried to convince the doctors i was bipolar. well now im 22 and my son is almost 4. he doesnt know any of my family because my parents are such a-holes and convinced the rest of the family that i am now a loser with a kid. my mother is a control freak. she always had to have the best of everything....nicest house, car, job, schools, and to her i ruined her "vision" for me. i didnt live the life the way SHE wanted me to. so i havent seen them and my son has never met them and has no clue who they are. my son has all this famly out there that wants nothing to do with him becaus my mom is such a witch. she alweays emails me occasionally and tells me she thinks about me everyday.....and im like wtf if u do then pick up the damn fone and call me ?? she has my number as i write it in almost every email to her. she claims she needs time....since she and the family have been "damaged" by my actions. shes so weird. it used to bother me alot but im almost numb to it now. i think about them often. my own twin sis wont even accept me as a friend on facebook she declines my friend request she is a major B herself. ive got my bf;s family but its not the same and his mom i was the closest too and she died before my son turned 2. i dont want to give up on my family but what should i do about my mom? why doesnt she wana be a grandma? im 22 now, an adult and she still treats me like a kid and like crap. my son didnt do is her problem?

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:29 AM
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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:40 AM

i have no idea    why  your mom will  not love your son ,  but it is best that u keep  your distance from her for your son's sake ,  he did nothing wrong   he was just born .

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:46 AM

She sounds like a real wench. But I'm sure you unknowingly hurt her feelings badly when you chose to live life the way you wanted instead of the way she wanted you to. I know it sounds weird, but anger often comes from the biggest hurts. She might feel that you've thrown opportunities away and chosen to walk away from the values and religion she's taught you. But she is being hypocritical because she doesn't seem to be motivated to say or do what she's done out of love and concern for you, but love and concern for the family image. I wouldn't willingly allow my son around someone who didn't see him for the wonderful gift that he is. I don't care how they treat me, but if you even LOOK at my kids wrong, I'll flatten your tail in a minute.

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by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 10:56 AM

I don't know what to tell you.  My mom wasn't thrilled but got over it when I got pregant with my eldest daughter.  I was 19 years old when I got pregant and it was my then boyfreind (now husband) who is 9 years and a few months older then me.   She told my husband he is marrying me so we got married when I ws really pregant with my eldst daugther. She then as I had more children acted really weird. When my middle daugther was born she didn't even smile when she held her.  When my third daugther was born she wouldn't even hold her at the hospital and was all angery because how dare I have three children.  Who is she to judge she would have had three kids if she didn't have a miscarge with her third child at 5 months.  She is one of four kids and my dad is one of three.  She wouldn't hold my third daugther until over a week after she was born.  What the hell is that about I have no idea. 

I'm sorry your family is such ass holes.  I have no idea why family can act like that.  My mom is selfish and doesn't do much at all with my girls.  I only live an hour away and we see my grandparents (my dad's since my mom's have passed) more then any one else and they are in their 80's.  Maybe your son's better off if they are so judgemental.  I don't know anything to make them treat you or your son better but at least your son has you.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:05 AM

That's a horrible sutuation for you and your son...And i must agree with the other posters that it sounds like you may be better off.  IF your family is being that judgemental about you acting responsibly and for the betterment of your and your sons lives then they are ignorant and not worth your time.  HOwever, perhaps they are just embarassed by how they treated you and can't put their pride behind them yet.  I fyou really want to give it a try, di it now while your son is young enough to not really remember if they end up proving themselves to be jerks.  SEnd your family and email and let them know that you are having a BBQ at your house and they are all invited, and kind of reunion.  give them a month or two advance so they can't make excuses....if they still don't come or reply then that is the best you can do and the ball is entirely in their court and out of your hands.  If they do come then you are on your home turf and have control of the stiuation if it goes awry....good luck

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 11:19 AM

If she wants to act like that then you should just leave it alone. In the long run you are doing what is best for you son. If you make him meat your side of the family and they don't "love" him then he will know that he isn't wanted and well he doesn't need to feel like that. Good luck to you I don't know why your mom won't come around but if she hasn't done it yet she probably will never do it.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:03 PM

Honestly< I would just stop responding to her. No sense inkeeping the hurt alive. They will come around, or they won't and there's no sense in making yourself miserable.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 12:21 PM

To hell with her.Forget her.Its best for your son so he doesn't get his feelings hurt.Even though it seems like you more right now.If you push a relationship on her with your son and she falls off the face of the earth and decides she doesn't want that....he will be the one hurt.Not you.Ya know?

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:48 PM

the reason i cant let it go is number one they are my family. but i just dont get it because when i was a little kid my parents were really good parents. they did anything and everything for us and i just always thought they were good people. but that all changed i never knew my mom would grow to have conditional love for me. ..if you can even call the way shes acting love...cuz i def dont. its like i am dead to them like im this horrible child that they want everyone to forget they had. it relly sucks. maybe shes lke this thinkin shes got my sister as a daughter then why does she need a "f*ck up" like me?

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 2:53 PM

Sounds like my g-ma. She treated my mom that very same way. Unfortunately I know my g-ma. I wish I didn't. She's a major bitch. She wrote my mom out of her life and now they never see each other or talk to one another. She turned all of her brothers and her sister against her and the rest of the family. It's sad. I'm sorry you're having to go through that. *hugs*

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 3:26 PM

probably the same thing that is wrong with my dad. He will acknowledge my daughter but not my 2 boys. I too am damaged goods as i didnt do what he wanted me to do with my life etc etc

until she can accept you then she doesnt need to see your son. she will put unrealistic expectations on him as well

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