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what would you do??

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:26 PM
  • 6 Replies

 usually i am only replying to someone else's post but here i am making my first one in this group. i have a 5 y/o ds who is autistic and have other things wrong with him. you can't tell by looking at him but he is. he is the sweetest little boy you will ever meet but he does throw a tantrum while in public.

anyways i took mil to the dr today because she was getting surgery done on her foot to get the glass out. while waiting, i was talking to 2 of the most sweetest couple you could ever meet. i was talking to them about my son and they were curious about his condition. i told them that i was getting alot og grief by people who is not in my shoes about ds not talking or potty trained and the lady looked at me and said that people who isn't going through what i am going through with ds should just keep their mouth shut.

it took me by surprise because i never heard anyone say that i am a good mom and that i am doing the best i can ( i didn't have ds with me, he was home with dh). i do believe that i will get my miralce and that he will let lose and talk and potty but for now with him having a mind of a 1 y/o, its hard but i am doing what i can to help him succeed.

what would you do if you were in my shoes and someone tells you that you are not doing what you should do and that he is the way he is because its your fault??? i am still trying to tell myself that its not my fault but there are days that i feel like it is. he is my miracle and that God gave him to me for a reason

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:26 PM
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Replies (1-6):
by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:30 PM

Hugs mama. It is not your fault your child was born the way he was. He is a gift, he will drive you crazy some days but he will teach you so much about life and compassion. God only gives us what we can handle

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:30 PM

It's not your fault and I agree with that lady. If they haven't gone through it they shouldn't be accusing you. He will eventually talk and potty train but his time table is different. Just keep taking care of your little boy and show him all the love you can. All he needs is to know he is loved:) 

Keep staying strong

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:36 PM

 I agree with her. Noone understands anyones situation unless they are experiencing it for themselves. It is not our place to judge. Yes, we all have opinions, but it isn't your fault. It takes a very strong mother to take on the challenges of an autistic or special needs child, and you are doing the best you can I am certain. Stay strong and do the best you can to let those negitive words roll off your back, because they aren't perfect either, and whose to say what they would be doing in your situation.

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:38 PM

I've not been in this situation as a parent, but my older sister had sever cerebral pausey. And people would look at her like she was a leper, or she had something 'catchy'... And my mom always got the "look". People would always tell her how to raise my sister, even though they had NO idea what it was like! I remember being little (She passed away when I was 10), and the baby sitters wouldn't change her diaper or give her meds that she Needed... and I, a little girl, had to do it. People just don't understand the emotional stress and fatigue it can have on a family member. They Fear what they don't understand. I even have issues with people. I have Turrets Syndrom, a mild case thankfully, and people all the time treat me like I'm a freak for a brain disorder I can't control.

Basically, Momma, just hang in there and stay strong. There are people in this world who understand what you are going through. And the fact that you love and care for your son is a blessing. My father told mom to just "put Kristi (my sister), in a nursing home and get a life"... So I have so much respect for you, because you are doing what you feel is right by your son.

If you ever need to talk please, PM me. And I'll keep you in my prayers.

by Silver Member on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:43 PM

if you are religious, you can kinda point out that its NOT your fault, but obviously God felt that you were better equiped to handle a child with a few hiccups, than someone as closed minded as them! and once your DS learns how to do all of that, it'll be a better victory because of how hard he worked.. he's not "normal" and didnt learn at the "normal" times- potty trained by 3, talking by whenever... so once he does learn it all- he's gonna shine through everybody else b/c of the love, nuture, care, understanding and patience that you gave him... and once he gets going, i doubt he'll ever stop!

chin up momma!

by on Jul. 12, 2010 at 8:46 PM

Big hugs for you!!! God, i dont' know what i would do i mean people act like i don't know what i am doing but no one ever comes right out and says it and there is nothing wrong with my kids!!! Be strong and you will survive!!!

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