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Feeling sorry for myself...

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 12:04 AM
  • 10 Replies

Hi ladies,

I think I have a problem. I have random outbursts about once every two months or so, where I just cry and cry for about an hour because of things going on in my life. Other than that, I keep a happy face, keep smiling, and remain positive. Everytime I even start to feel bad for myself, I think of the e-mails I get from this site called ACOR and the sarcoma group, of all the kids that die from the cancer I have or I think of people living in poverty and I tell myself, things could be so much worse, why are you feeling bad? But, I think somehow that what I do to myself is harmful to me...I never allow myself to feel sorry for myself, so I have these outbursts that are horrid. I was never like this before my cancer, I simply felt sorry for myself sometimes like a regular person...but now for some reason, I always think "it could be worse, be happy!" and get mad at myself for even feeling bad. Even when I'm in the hospital for chemo, I don't allow myself to be upset.

Does this make any sense at all? I'm really tired of having random outbursts every few months...I'm not sure how to get back to "normal".

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."- Mahatma Gandhi

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by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 12:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Abigail82
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 12:50 AM
I am sorry you're going through it but really? I think you're allowed every so often. I think you're Just human. ;) shoot you're going. Through a lot more than I am and I do the same thing every few months. I think sometimes its jut a way to vent. I hope you beat the cancers Fanny and get better. Stop beating yourself up After crying every now and then. ;)
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missmegan09
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 1:15 AM

i know from a person who has had something really tramatic happen in life that after something like that happens you create a new normal that most of the time you can never go back to the old normal you just create something new for yourself i know for me after my son i have basically gone back to how i was just have moments where i cry over nothing or get emotional at the littlest thing and its just my new normal it may take time to get use to it but you will just like i will:)

bamababe1975
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:30 AM

You're allowed to have random outbursts. It's super stressful to be dealing with everything that you're dealing with. Stress, plu the bone-deep exhaustion you're going through, equals difficulty coping with minor, everyday things sometimes. But, that's not wrong. It's just how it is. Cancer sucks, and it takes everything in you to fight it. If that means you're going to break down and cry some days because the dishes didn't get washed, or something else like that, then so be it. Just let the tears flow, allow yourself to feel whatever it is you feel, and know that you aren't alone, even in your loneliest moment. ((HUGS))

momma_814
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:40 PM

Yup i agree.. I think you have the right to vent , get a lil pissy or whatever. Hell if you didn't then i would worry, but anyway you keep your head up and like Abigail82 said i hope you kick cancers butt :) 

Quoting Abigail82:

I am sorry you're going through it but really? I think you're allowed every so often. I think you're Just human. ;) shoot you're going. Through a lot more than I am and I do the same thing every few months. I think sometimes its jut a way to vent. I hope you beat the cancers Fanny and get better. Stop beating yourself up After crying every now and then. ;)

 

IrishDuckie
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:54 PM

Omg if I had any pictures of my little sister on this comp i'd post them. You look EXACTLY like her. Like to the point of if she didn't have a kid i'd have to wonder if you were her. Weird.

ang12285
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:42 PM

Those are completely normal feelings, and part of the emotional healing process is allowing yourself to feel whatever emotion that is going through you at the moment. Go ahead and cry and let it out and have a bad. Remember you've made it this far, you can make it all the way ;)

miriamz
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:42 PM

I think it's normal to get emotional from time to time as long as it doesn't interfere with your everyday life :).

redwoodhunny
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 2:18 AM
You are normal, you need to allow yourself to cry at times. I believe it really helps. I can't imagine having cancer and going through chemo, that seems like it would be tough. The fact that you hardly ever cry or feel bad is amazing. I was bitten by a pit bull 2 years ago, and he bit my stomach first (which was more bruised than anything) but he degloved my arm too. It was excruciatingly painful. Then I had to be hospitalized for 3 weeks and undergo several surgeries including skin grafts from my scalp. I cried about my shaved head! And cried and felt sorry for myself. It was so hard, but i would feel guilty realizing some people have been bitten or injured far worse than me, or on their face. Mine is on my arm. Just within the last 6 months since giving birth I feel less selfish. You are so strong! I see a trauma counselor. But i admire you for your strength. We all face hardships and we all deal with them differently. Let yourself cry when you have the urge, it's ok. Take care :-)
Alexsi1
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 9:04 AM

You are allowed to cry and vent if you want to. Keep your head high and kick cancer's a** :)

CallieLynsMommy
by on Aug. 8, 2010 at 11:33 PM

Thanks ladies. You gals really make me feel better. I don't know what it is...I never had this problem before. I guess "life changing" events really do change you, lol.

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