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Let me ask, what would you do?

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:17 AM
  • 14 Replies

 My ex wants to get back together, but the problem is we've been down this road before. We always make up then few days later we break up(as of lately). I'm not sure if it's healthy for our daughter to be seeing this. She's getting older and she's going to know something is up. before i got pregnant we were awesome as a couple. i mean we are high school sweethearts. Would you give it one last shot or let it go?

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
pinkfairy0206
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:21 AM

i think it depends on what was going on in the relationship and what made you break up. my husband and i have split up 2x's in the 9 years we have been together. the last time i thought he really got it and was going to change and never go back to the way his ways. it lasted a few months and then he fell right back into the bad habits. now months later after that,he is "trying"again. i don't know what you should do,its really what you heart tells you!

saduncan
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:23 AM

Why not "start over"?  Just be friends for now.  Date (outside of your home so as not to confuse your DD) for a while.  Just see how things go.  My sister and her...whatever he is these days (they were engaged, dated, broke up, got back together, broke up, thought about getting married....you get the picture) have done much better since they decide to just "see where things went".  They live together, they are raising our younger sisters (that's another story) and they are a couple, they just don't label themselves as being "together".  They've been "together" for 5 years.

Becca2020
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:24 AM

Give it up at least for a good amount of time... If this happens a lot then it really isn't good for your daughter. Break up and before you get back together try and work out all of your problems and if you can't then you know you shouldn't get back together.

Mystery_Anteia
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:33 AM

 We've been together for 6 years and on and off for like 2 years. He's sick of being just friends, and i am too, but i mean i don't want to be off and on all the time. How can you start over if you have a child together? it sounds like a good idea but i don't know how that works.

Quoting saduncan:

Why not "start over"?  Just be friends for now.  Date (outside of your home so as not to confuse your DD) for a while.  Just see how things go.  My sister and her...whatever he is these days (they were engaged, dated, broke up, got back together, broke up, thought about getting married....you get the picture) have done much better since they decide to just "see where things went".  They live together, they are raising our younger sisters (that's another story) and they are a couple, they just don't label themselves as being "together".  They've been "together" for 5 years.

 

Mystery_Anteia
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:38 AM

 Odd thing is we don't know what our problem is. Sure we fight over small stuff, but we've only faught once with it being a big deal. We generally are an awesome couple. He's an amazing father and we are best friends. I just don't understand why we can't keep it together now.

Quoting Becca2020:

Give it up at least for a good amount of time... If this happens a lot then it really isn't good for your daughter. Break up and before you get back together try and work out all of your problems and if you can't then you know you shouldn't get back together.

 

saduncan
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 8:45 AM

Start going on dates!!!  Find a way to reconnect as a couple.  Maybe think about talking to a counselor together?  GL to you both!

Quoting Mystery_Anteia:

 We've been together for 6 years and on and off for like 2 years. He's sick of being just friends, and i am too, but i mean i don't want to be off and on all the time. How can you start over if you have a child together? it sounds like a good idea but i don't know how that works.

Quoting saduncan:

Why not "start over"?  Just be friends for now.  Date (outside of your home so as not to confuse your DD) for a while.  Just see how things go.  My sister and her...whatever he is these days (they were engaged, dated, broke up, got back together, broke up, thought about getting married....you get the picture) have done much better since they decide to just "see where things went".  They live together, they are raising our younger sisters (that's another story) and they are a couple, they just don't label themselves as being "together".  They've been "together" for 5 years.

 


"Great. So you've fallen in love again. Go wash yourself off. Dirty stuff." --STM


Chris030406
by Platinum Member on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:22 AM

No. I don't like drama. I would stay on the best of terms possible for your daughter's sake, but I wouldn't go down the "wanna be a couple?!" road again. You should put your foot down for your daughter's sake and offer a more stable relationship with her father, not a roller coaster. And, if that means not being a couple and just friends who co-parent, then so be it. 

NSeni
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:27 AM

let it go. they are EX for a reason.

Mommap87
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 9:30 AM

 Well I would try one last shot for your daughters sake. But you have to sit back first and take a piece of paper and write down the pro's and con's of him. Write down on one side the good qualities and the bad qualities. Measure them out by importance and if its something that doesnt seem right then dont do it. Ive had to do this a few times. GL mama

ChesterGirl
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:12 AM

I think that I would tell him if he wants to make it work , then he needs to do just that . Tell him you will give it one last try and if it dosent work this time , thats it .

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