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Friends that don't understand the whole parenting thing...

Posted by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:45 AM
  • 37 Replies

One of my best friends asked me at 9:30 last night what my plans were for the night. I didn't text her back. For real? I am a mom of a toddler and an infant...I'm going to bed in an hour! LOL and even if I wasn't going to bed I would be laying down cuddling with my man with no urge to go out or do anything. She does not understand this. She is always so full of energy always on the go. But she is single with no kids and does not get it. She thinks life is too short to always be home and never gets the lazies. Completely confused as to why someone would actually stay home for more than 6 hours at a time. I love her and she is one of my greatest friends...but my friends who don't have kids annoy me. They don't understand that we can't always "catch a quick movie" or even afford to...or go on a quick drive or even feel like having people over!! Does anybody else deal with single friends or friends in general that don't understand your situation and wanting to stay home??? I guess I shouldn't complain too much...because I am one of the lucky ones whose friends did not desert them once they became a parent. It still gets old when every 5 minutes someone is asking me if I want to hang out or go out. LOL

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:45 AM
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by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:48 AM

yea i knw how that is or when they show up randomly my house is a mess theres laundry on the floor and its 4 in the afternoon im not showered or dressed yet

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:49 AM
Yeah it is annoying that they can't understand. Most of those "friends" have disappeared lol but I don't mind I have my family for friends. This girl sounds like a friend of mine who lives the city life etc. She just found out she's preggo. So I'm curious to see how she handles the change.
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by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:51 AM
sorry...all my friends have kids so i haven't dealt with this!
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by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:53 AM

 Yeah I know exactly what you mean. I actually have a friend that said to me once, after I told her my son had just started walking, "Don't you have anything to talk about besides the kid?" Needless to say we don't talk too much anymore.

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:54 AM
Yep my bestfriend always does that. My hubby is deployed so most times if I'm going somewhere the kids are in tow. She doesn't understand why I just don't always have a babysitter on speed dial. lol And like this week was my bday it was a really busy week appointments and getting school reg done etc. she wanted to celebrate and go out and dance and couldn't see why I'd want to stay home and have a little cake with my kids and hope for a phone call from my hubby. I just brush it off cause one day she will understand she's single and free right now so she can't relate but one day she will.
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by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:57 AM

It's hard for people who don't have kids to try to understand it. When I started having kids, I lost a lot of my friends who didn't have kids. They didn't like it that I couldn't drop everything to hang out. It's unfortunate..but it happens.

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 10:59 AM

Idk. I go out now and then, even at 930 lol.

I went to see a movie last night at midnight.

I would try not to be annoyed, I'd be appreciative that they still think to ask you. Maybe it's not that she doesn't understand that you CAN'T maybe it's that, she wants to make sure she asks everytime, just in case. You never know, one of these days you might feel like going out, and then if she asks you'll be thankful she did! I mean, I remember after I first had Ayla and my friends were all constantly asking me to go out like nothing had changed, but I tell ya, it was way worse when they stopped asking.

by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:01 AM
actually my dh was slow to understand that while he was out drinking and having a high ole time with his goof off buddies, my life had completely changed. he really didnt get why i was so tired all the time and didnt want to go anywhere or do anything. so he began staying home with me after a real adult dad would do lol. only he began to call all of his stupid friends over to our one bedroom apt to play video games and play cards and just be loud and obnoxious when neither me or the baby had slept all night. this was an everyday problem for me for awhile. he started telling me what a cold rude bitch i was and i didnt want him to have fun anymore and why was i sooo mean to his friends. i told him that when you become a parent (ecspecially when you become a mom) you have a choice to make. you can buckle down and take care of this life you are responsible for, or just pretend it never happened and go act like a dumb college kid. you cant be both if you want to be a good parent. simply cant be done. this was hard for him to absorb because we were so young and stupid.but we women have always been a few steps ahead in terms of maturity. as we got older,these friends fell away from him one by one and he replaced all but a special few with men that have families. they still have fun times together and still get to have a break, but now its everything in moderation for both of us...which is nice.
by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:01 AM

 As of June this year every one of my friends is a parent now. But even before they settled down to start a family they were pretty understanding and gave us time to plan for a night out.


by on Aug. 7, 2010 at 11:03 AM
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