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5 weeks, hrs of phone calls, & thousands of text later...

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:46 AM
  • 6 Replies

HELP!  I left my baby daddy in the beginning of July after two yrs (she is 6) of bending over backward cuz I realized I deserved soooooo much more.  (EXAMPLE: I recently lost my job & when I was literally crying to him that I needed food to feed our child he told him he didnt have any.  Later I found a nice stash & asked him about it, his reply "that's my tattoo money" WTF!). 

So July 26th I meant up with an old friend (let's call him B) on FB.  I have know him since elementary school & actually almost left J for him two yrs ago, however, I wanted my family than.  So we started texting/calling & have everyday since.  So after a week we decided he would come visit during the week my daughter was away (he is currently in Pa, I'm in Jersey).  The week he was here (8~7-14th) was one of the best times of my life.  Everything felt naturally and I didnt feel the need to entertain him.  He was very helpful and fixed several things around my house (without being asked) & cooked.  However, we had agreed that it would be a "no expectations" visit & whatever happened we were both adults.  He sent extremely mixed signals the whole week, however, I let him know I was def interested.  So when he left I didnt know what I felt.  We continued to text/talk (dont worry ladies I waited for him to make first contact) and decided I would come visit him in Pa the weekend of Sept 24th.  The more & more we text, the more I started feeling things for him.  Well, he finally decided to tell me that he was very interested, but hadnt wanted to let me know when he was here cuz of our "understanding".  I couldnt wait to see him anymore, I missed him so much.  So this past weekend (8~27th) I found a sitter & made the 4 & 1/2 hr drive to Pa (arrival time 330AM).  The weekend was just as good, if not better than the first and we decided to take our friendship to the next level.  While I was there we talked about moving me & my daughter to Pa, however, I'm not a risk taker.  I guess I just need advice cuz I seriously want to just pack up my life & move closer to him (which would be easy cuz i'm currently unemp).  What do I do?  I have never felt this way anout ANYONE before.  Plus he hasnt meant my daughter, but he also as a son so that isnt a problem.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-6):
StaceyAmber
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:50 AM

I can see that you need his comfort and that makes you feel great. But i do think you should take it slowly. I moved in with my husband right after a big heartache and now I look back and wonder if he was a rebound. It huants me sometimes. I believe it will be a good idea to continue as you are now, visiting as much as possible and be sure to fall in love before making a big step. It would confuse your children, his and yours, to make such a drastic change so soon after you just left her daddy. Be patient and everything will fall into place. Good luck.

JoJoBean8
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:52 AM

Take it slow especially since there are children involved. You to might really be liking each other now but it is the honeymoon stage of a relationship. Wait until you both are serious. You don't want to hurt your child nor his.

Kylie819
by Silver Member on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:55 AM
I agree. If you didn't have kids thrown in the mix, then maybe. But you need to make sure you're not rushing things, for your daughter's sake. Give it a few months, continue to visit, and see what happens from there. JMO.


Quoting StaceyAmber:

I can see that you need his comfort and that makes you feel great. But i do think you should take it slowly. I moved in with my husband right after a big heartache and now I look back and wonder if he was a rebound. It huants me sometimes. I believe it will be a good idea to continue as you are now, visiting as much as possible and be sure to fall in love before making a big step. It would confuse your children, his and yours, to make such a drastic change so soon after you just left her daddy. Be patient and everything will fall into place. Good luck.


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KrhMsh
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:59 AM

This is good advice! I'm glad you found someone deserving of your affections!! <3

Quoting StaceyAmber:

I can see that you need his comfort and that makes you feel great. But i do think you should take it slowly. I moved in with my husband right after a big heartache and now I look back and wonder if he was a rebound. It huants me sometimes. I believe it will be a good idea to continue as you are now, visiting as much as possible and be sure to fall in love before making a big step. It would confuse your children, his and yours, to make such a drastic change so soon after you just left her daddy. Be patient and everything will fall into place. Good luck.


cgarlic
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:29 AM

Thanks ladies.  We def talked about taking it slow & involving our children.  I did tell him I wasnt moving my daughter during the school year.  So the plan is by July 1, 2011 then both kids will be done school & not have to make too many changes at once.  I figure that even though his son lives with him in Pa  already it would give both kids a chance to get used to their new environment (home).  Plus with the summer it would give them a few months to adjust before school starts.  If everything works out as planned we will move me up there while both kids are visiting their dad/mom.  They will know that they will come back to our new home, but it will give us the chance to set the house up.

Boofysmom9408
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 11:45 AM


Quoting cgarlic:

Thanks ladies.  We def talked about taking it slow & involving our children.  I did tell him I wasnt moving my daughter during the school year.  So the plan is by July 1, 2011 then both kids will be done school & not have to make too many changes at once.  I figure that even though his son lives with him in Pa  already it would give both kids a chance to get used to their new environment (home).  Plus with the summer it would give them a few months to adjust before school starts.  If everything works out as planned we will move me up there while both kids are visiting their dad/mom.  They will know that they will come back to our new home, but it will give us the chance to set the house up.

I'm glad you guys are planning this before doing it... Good job and good luck! :)

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