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What would make someone turn suddenly violent?

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:55 PM
  • 16 Replies

My mom has been with her husband for almost ten years now. She doesn't have a great track record with men, from my dad who physically abused her to her second husband who took out a life insurance policy on her then tried to kill her... and the losers in between who she didn't marry. Now this husband is her third. I always thought he was great. One of the nicest people I've ever met, treated my mom great, was a hard worker.... just all around great guy.

But recently he's been slowly treating my mom worse and worse.I won't get into details about that, it's too long. But one of the things he's been doing is throwing her stuff away. He'll go into her closet and just grab some random crap and go throw it in the dumpster.

Well the other day my mom confronted him about throwing away her stuff, and he yelled at her then PUSHED A BAKER'S RACK DOWN ON TOP OF HER.  Well, tried to. She jumped out of the way. But this bakers rack is made of iron with glass shelves, plus there was a lot of stuff on it. If my mom hadn't jumped out of the way it could have really messed her up, she would probably be in the hospital right now.

I just don't get what's come over him, he's always taken the stance that you never hit women. The only thing I can think of is that he is an alcoholic. But why, after so many years of being an alcoholic (probably 30 years), would he all of a sudden turn into a total douchebag?

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 12:55 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Mama32309
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:19 PM
Not sure :( sorry to hear about your mom. Some people just have violent tendencies lurking inside them and eventually it just comes out.
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la_bella_vita
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:40 PM

 Yikes! I'm sorry to hear that = (

Mikeybsmom2006
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:46 PM

eventually every friendly drunk turns into a mean drunk. My dh was a very friendly drunk, actually quite amusing but if he even had one shot of whisky, he turned sour. He would never hit me or even attempt to, but boy was he nasty. (my fathers nasty drink was gin) Maybe he is just now drinking a different liquor that is making him mean?

StefInfection
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:50 PM

Is he on anything else? Some medications can cause violent tendencies. Maybe he's super stressed out about something and drinking more than usual. It's really hard to tell. Is he really throwing the stuff away or is he pawning it?

kirstn007
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:54 PM

not sure, it does happen. she probably needs to distance herself until or unless he snaps out of it. it could be stress along with the alcohol doing it to him

momamouse07
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 1:55 PM
Maybe he changed drinking habits and that's what's causing it. Also if he's been hiding a drug problem that he's unable to maintain that could cause him to get violent. Some peopl have drug problems or drinking problems that they can hide for a little while. Also it could just be his true nature coming out. Has there been a death in re family recently or another big changed that could have been a trigger?
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Alexsi1
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 2:28 PM

10 years is awfully long to hide an abusive side, I'm sure it would have come out sooner. Does he drink, do drugs? Is he taking any new medication? I ask because a few years ago my DH got put on a new medication for epilepsy and had some bad outbursts with it. He really scared me. When the doctor took him off of it he was back to normal again.

hill_star03
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 7:58 PM

agreed...pharmeceuticals can be nasty

Quoting Alexsi1:

10 years is awfully long to hide an abusive side, I'm sure it would have come out sooner. Does he drink, do drugs? Is he taking any new medication? I ask because a few years ago my DH got put on a new medication for epilepsy and had some bad outbursts with it. He really scared me. When the doctor took him off of it he was back to normal again.


soccerfanatic13
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 8:33 PM

I am so sorry to hear what is happening to your mom. Has he had troubles at work or with family of any sort. The pressure in his life is building and unfortunately he is blowing over. Still there is no excuse for this behavior. He knows he has problematic tendencies so he maybe needs to get a little help. Best wishes to your mother and you

wiccamommytobe
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 10:39 PM

My grandfather was also an alcoholic for years and was never violent but a few years before he passed away we noticed some really erratic behaviors. He would get insanely angry for no reason and seemed easily irritated. We found out later on that he had seven tumors on his brain. His dr told us that brain tumors can cause dramatic changes in personality so that might be one possible reason for your moms husband to be acting that way.

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