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can't make everybody happy...

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:03 PM
  • 8 Replies

SO i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years and he has an 11 year old son from a previous relationship and we recently had a daughter together. The relationship is not working out for me and I think that he could do a way better job in being a better father and not so reliant on his dad to do everything for him and I recently told him that I want to move to Arizona because that is where my support system is (my whole family lives there) but we live in New York and I myself am having a difficult time financially, mentally, with finding work and finishing school and it would be a lot easier if I went to stay with my parents for a while, while he "grows up" and I have time for myself. SHould I be forced to stay in this relationship that is not working for me or my daughter just because he doesnt want me to leave with our daughter? Or better yet am I suppose to raise my daughter in an enviroment where I dont think its best for her just because he doesnt want to move?

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:03 PM
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Replies (1-8):
LancesMom
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:53 PM

You should go with your gut and do whats best for you child!

itfitzus
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:33 PM

You need to do what is best for you and your child. No one can force you to stay in a bad relationship. I would caution you to make sure you see a lawyer and cross you t's and dit you i's before you leave the state though. I am not sure what NY laws are but in some states if his name is on the birth certificate you can get trouble for leaving with the child with out his consent.

amber_1024
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:36 PM

 Absolutely see a lawyer or make sure you know the laws in your state... itfitzus: is correct, you can get in trouble for leaving state lines with your child...

Quoting itfitzus:

You need to do what is best for you and your child. No one can force you to stay in a bad relationship. I would caution you to make sure you see a lawyer and cross you t's and dit you i's before you leave the state though. I am not sure what NY laws are but in some states if his name is on the birth certificate you can get trouble for leaving with the child with out his consent.

 

kirstn007
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:38 PM

you should do whats best for you and your childs interest. if you guys arent working out then go!

Butterflysky_24
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 4:52 PM

Absolutely not. He should not pressure you into staying when you don't want to and you know it's not a good thing for your kids. I definitely hate being away from my mom and family and if my husband was not stepping up to being a father, i'd be on the road back home in a heartbeat

Brandeigh
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:26 PM

Is he a bad father?  I dont know if taking your daughter away from her Daddy would be the best but you are the Mom and you know whats best.  If you think its what you need to do then i would.

elianasmomma
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 11:40 AM


Quoting Brandeigh:

Is he a bad father?  I dont know if taking your daughter away from her Daddy would be the best but you are the Mom and you know whats best.  If you think its what you need to do then i would.

He is an OK father, by far needs to be better!! My daughter is 4 months old and he has not taken responsibility like he should be. 

JMKristy
by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 11:54 AM

You need to do what is best for your child. You guys will have to come to some sort of custody agreement. Even though you will be moving across the country, it will still be possible for him to see his daughter and build a relationship with her.

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