Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Advice on support/divorce/seperation... ect.

Posted by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:29 PM
  • 9 Replies

Ok.... a little back ground... me and my husband have been together 7 1/2 years... mariied for 5 with am almost 4 year old daughter... to make a long story short. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 4 years.. my grandparents let us live in their in-law apartment for only 400 a month for the past 5 years while a uncle paid for my husband to go to medical school... our relationship was great... stressed the last year or so with him finishing up school.. I passed it off to he was stressed with school and work and that everything would be better when he graduated and we reached the "end of our tunnel".... He graduated 3 weeks ago Friday. We all went to his graduation... our whole family went out to dinner to celebrate afterward... the next day I threw a hug party with all our friends and family.. Sunday we had such a nice family day which we had not been able to have in so long with him always studying (we brought our daughter to the fair, went canoeing, had a bon fire, played scrabble) then as we were about to but my daughte rin bed we got into a fight about him wanting to borrow money from my uncle to pay for his boards exam. My grandmother had already said she would pay advance us the money since I do odd jobs for her to help out so I was mad he would go and ask my uncle (who is known to be very funny about his money and already does not talk to my other uncle over money issues). Soooo i didn't want to fight in front of my daughter so I said I am going to but her to bed and we will talk about it afterwards... he packed up his stuff and left us... WILL NOT come home... says he has not been happy for a while... will not say he loves me anymore... said he doesn't know if he ever really loved me.... The have been living in HELL for the past 3+ weeks... I have begged like a fool for him to come back ... work on it.. do what ever it takes... he says he will meet with me tomorow to figure out what he wants to do.... I have NEVER been through anything like this and do not really know anyone that has gone through a divorce or anythign lateley. I am scared... I have a feeling this is where it is headed and I don't know what I am intitled to... our cars are both in his name.. I havent even worked in 4 years... I have no clue what I am going to do... What am I intitled to... will they make him only give me a small amount for my daughter or can I get more help... like pay for the car.. keep me on insurance.. ect. Also, my daughter is VERY angry at him at the moment for leaving and not coming home even when she begs and cried to him to.. he tells her he is on vacation which she knows is a lie... he has seen her twice since all this... once we went out to eat (I had to go because she wouldn't go with him and once we all went bowling for the dame reason... ) Can they force her to go with him if she doesn't want to?


Sorry for all the questions i am just trying to be a little educated on the matter and no what i am in for.... PLEASE HELP IF YOU CAN... I am in NH by the way... he left and is staying in Massachusetts with his family.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:35 PM

Wow...that is awful.  The only advice I have is to stay as neutral as possible in front of your daughter about her father.  My parents divorced when I was young and trust me--my sisters and I remember every word my mom said about my dad.  I wish I had more to say---I would def. be gettting a lawyer.

by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 3:36 PM
Bump for advice!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 5:00 PM

 I'm so sorry your dealing with this hun...


by on Aug. 31, 2010 at 6:27 PM

I have no idea but here's a BUMP!

Good luck.  I hope things somehow work out.

by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 4:19 PM

Thanks for all the bumps guys.... still hoping someone out there has some advice...

by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 6:15 PM

I'm so sorry you have to go through all this. I'm really sorry because I can understand how much you may have been looking forward to him graduating so you 3 can finally start enjoying life more. I would give him some time a week or 2 without any calls or visits and then see if he want to go and see a counselor or work things out.

From reading your post I got really angry at him and to me it seems like he used you & your family just to finish his degree. I would try to make him pay back his tuition fee to my uncle (would talk to a lawyer about it). You can claim a divorce fee that would help you until you find a job etc. They make them pay according to how much he earn and a Dr can earn a lot. Besides you are married so it's not like some one unmarried asking for child support. Usually in a devorce wife gets the home, half of his savings including 401K, vehicles (even if they are in his name), practically half of everything he owns. So a divorce doesn't come cheap to a guy. I would talk to a lawyer about it if it comes to that. But I really hope things would work out for you 2 and I would keep the kid out of it as much as I could (for her future's sake).

by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 6:20 PM

i would call a lawyer asap and get some advice. most lawyers will give you a free consultation.

by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 6:27 PM

hmm,, give him some time. if he really wants to get divorced u should get a lawyer.

by on Sep. 1, 2010 at 6:32 PM

you can get alimony since you havent worked 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)