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Sad, Annoyed and Frustrated.

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:31 PM
  • 11 Replies

My husband is an ok guy he's not terrible or anything he cleans up after himself for the most part he's an amazing father I couldn't have asked for a better dad for my child but god. Some times. 

He can't ever think of things to do himself. Like Valentines. He can't make plans for me period. He can't get anything for me. Nothing without ASKING ME what I want. 

What I want is not to have to tell him. He knows what I want. I want a Tiffany's ring (its only $100 its sterling I just want it until we can afford to put my diamond engagement/wedding bands into Platium I'm now allergic to white gold) I want to go to Boston and I want to go to Fire and Ice and I don't even want to do it V-Day. I want to do it on Thurs after V-Day because its the only day we can get someone to watch our son. But apparently I'm asking the world for him to remember the plans we made last month because he has NO idea what I want. 

I told him I wanted him to remember what we wanted to do and he says that its not something we can work out because of his work. Fine no problem but come up with something on your OWN then. For too long I've told him proving his love for me is to do something he knows I want without having to be told to do it. Like kiss me or have sex with me or whatever else. He's completely impossible. Its so hard he has no confidence and it kills me. There is no freaking reason for it. 

It makes me feel unimportant. Like he can't think to do things on his own at all because I'm not important enough. Kills me. He'll give me the moon if I ask for it but I don't want the moon and I don't want to ask for some things I want him to know I need them like I need hugs and kisses every day and I need him to tell me he loves me WITHOUT PROMPTING and I want him to plan something with things he knows I like because he loves me. He says he loves me. All of my friends and my mother swear he looks at me with love and he would walk the earth over if I ask him to but why do I have to ask. 

I know I probably sound like a cry baby and I'm lucky to have what I ahve but I just want him to show me for once I'm important enough to spend 10 minutes THINKING about than just fulfilling a wish list.

by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:31 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RaLALA
by Silver Member on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:39 PM
Men are stupid. Lol DH bought himself an Ipod on my bday. Then tried to give it 2 me today,because he really wanted me 2 have it. MY BDAY WAS IN NOVEMBER! Lol

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rockinmomto2
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 5:43 PM

 Some guys just suck at gift giving. My DH is one of them. Even if I TELL my DH what I want, he'll get me something different. For Christmas, I asked him for a set of 8 and 10 lb weights and a nintendo ds. What does he get me? The DS, but a yoga kit (I hate yoga, and he knows that), and a set of 1 lb and 2 lbs weights. I mean, really. He remembered what I told him I wanted in PASSING, but the stuff I wrote down and emailed to him? Nope. LOL. So I know how you feel. I think that you MAY just want to let this go. Maybe he just didn't remember. I know when my DH gets super busy at work, he forgets almost everything. *hugs*

rosemagic01
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:10 PM

I want to just let this go I'm just so sad that I watch all these women around me who have all these amazing plans for valentines and my husband hasn't even put thought into it and its like why can't I be thought of unless I've TOLD him to think about it and even then I have to tell him what to plan. I feel like there's just no spark no passion in him. When we first met he was amazing about it. Now pfff. 

Quoting rockinmomto2:

 Some guys just suck at gift giving. My DH is one of them. Even if I TELL my DH what I want, he'll get me something different. For Christmas, I asked him for a set of 8 and 10 lb weights and a nintendo ds. What does he get me? The DS, but a yoga kit (I hate yoga, and he knows that), and a set of 1 lb and 2 lbs weights. I mean, really. He remembered what I told him I wanted in PASSING, but the stuff I wrote down and emailed to him? Nope. LOL. So I know how you feel. I think that you MAY just want to let this go. Maybe he just didn't remember. I know when my DH gets super busy at work, he forgets almost everything. *hugs*


rosemagic01
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:17 PM

Nice guy! haha. Men. Grr. 

My birthday is also in November. He always comes to me the week before 'so what do you want' I could ring his neck what I always want! For him to make the choice himself! To think for just 10 minutes! BAH!

Quoting RaLALA:

Men are stupid. Lol DH bought himself an Ipod on my bday. Then tried to give it 2 me today,because he really wanted me 2 have it. MY BDAY WAS IN NOVEMBER! Lol


Mamamegan
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:17 PM

My husband is Horrible at giving gifts too,For christmas he asked me to make a list so I made a wish list on aero and said I like these sorts or things but they have to be from here or whatever and what did I get for Christmas My entire wish list lol which was nice but he put no thought into it and just the other day I said so what are we gonna do for V-day and he was like Oh I wasn't even thinking about it,so I say so we're not gonna buy eachother anything and he goes yeah if you're ok with that?????really I dont need a ton of gifts but come on every girl usually wants something for v-day a rose, candy just something,lol ugh guys just suck sometimes I always put tons of thought into gifts I get for him :(

ikesmommy200
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:20 PM
My sis was married before I was and she gave some really good advice, men don't do anything without being asked. They need directions. Sorry, though, mine needs instructions too, so I feel for you.
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barefootncrazy
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:20 PM

I seriously think we are married to the same person! My MIL tells me all the time how much he loves me but I just want him to prove it ONCE! He used to do sweet and romantic stuff all the time while we were dating but when we got married almost 4 years ago it stoppped. Last night I was trying to ask him about V-Day and what day he wanted to celebrate but he was just like "I don't know" I finally said fine you plan it all out on your own and if you don't then we aren't doing anything! So I know just how you feel momma! Sometimes I think I should never have any expectations and then I wouldn't get let down :(

rosemagic01
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:24 PM

Ugh I hate you know how I feel. I've been with him for 8 and a half years. The first 2 were really good as far as this stuff was concerned. I don't know what happened and when we had our kid 5 years ago this stuff went TOTALLY out the window. I get he's stressed but dude so am I! 

I don't think its too much to ask juts one day a year I don't have to tell him what to do! 

Quoting barefootncrazy:

I seriously think we are married to the same person! My MIL tells me all the time how much he loves me but I just want him to prove it ONCE! He used to do sweet and romantic stuff all the time while we were dating but when we got married almost 4 years ago it stoppped. Last night I was trying to ask him about V-Day and what day he wanted to celebrate but he was just like "I don't know" I finally said fine you plan it all out on your own and if you don't then we aren't doing anything! So I know just how you feel momma! Sometimes I think I should never have any expectations and then I wouldn't get let down :(


tristansgirl
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:25 PM

We don't celebrate V-day but for my birthday he ask what i want I tell him and most times its that and some times its something different and then off the wall I'll get flowers.

I know what you mean by not telling him what you want but some men just don't get it lol

rosemagic01
by on Feb. 9, 2011 at 7:26 PM

When we had been together for about 3 years or so I wrote an instruction book. Seriously. I put in stuff about how to deal with me when I was angry how to deal with me when I was sad how to make me happy when I'm stressed what to do for birthdays/holidays EVERYTHING. 

He got so offended he threw it at me and when I said it was his fault because he told me he never knew what he should do and I answered EVERY POSSIBILITY that could EVER happen he got mad! I believe he threw the book out after saying something like "I'm not stupid you know"

I never said he was stupid I just made it super easy to get me. Even with instructions it didn't make it clear. Men suck. 

Quoting ikesmommy200:

My sis was married before I was and she gave some really good advice, men don't do anything without being asked. They need directions. Sorry, though, mine needs instructions too, so I feel for you.


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