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Does this happen to other young mommies?!

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Does this happen to any other young mommies?... When I got pregnant I moved back in with my parents for the help and support. Well since my daughter has been born it really makes me mad when we go out and people seem to think that MY daughter is their daughter.  When we end up going out to eat my dad carries her for me because she is getting so heavy and we have to take her in in the infant car seat… since it’s so heavy he carries her for me. When the waitress brings us the high chair or baby sling they sit it in between my parents. There was one time I said “She goes over her” and the girl looked at me like “Are you kidding me?”. Then there are times when I take Madalyn to the doctor and my mom goes with me because she works in the same hospital and it is just so much easier to have extra hands with me… especially when Madalyn LOVES seeing Grandma in the middle of the day. But when the doctor comes in she directs all the feedback to my mom! I’m like “Hello I’m her mother and whatever you do with her has to go through me so I suggest you talk to me”. I know more about my daughter then my mother does so I don’t know why she is even asking my mother the questions. I know I should just stop taking my mom with me but it helps me so much when she is there and Madalyn enjoys it so much.  I just wondered if any other young moms went through stuff like this. I mean it’s not like we are “Young Mommies”. I’m 21… and most moms nowadays are around their early 20’s… our angels just came a little earlier than others.  It just pushes my buttons sometimes and was wondering if it does the same to others….
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 5:21 PM
Replies (21-30):
LongBeachLiz
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:08 PM
I don't really have this problem.  I had my daughter 2 weeks after I turned 19 and I always looked young.  I take my daughter by myself to places, especially the doctor or dentist.  They only like to do the fun stuff!!  lol.  I never got disrespected by saying "you're too young" instead they just focused on how cute she looks and that she looks just like me (she's blonde with blue eyes and my parents have really dark curly hair and brown eyes). I wouldn't stand for the disrespect either though because it's not their job to judge me.  Even when I was pregnant people were excited for me, rubbing my belly and being happy.  Also my mom and step dad establish right away that they are grandma and grandpoo.  I am proactive too in responding to questions though and she's always saying mama now. 

You can't expect complete strangers to know who's mom and dad, it's just not feasible. These days there's 50 year olds having babies as well as 16 year olds, but if you let them know then they can correct themselves.  As for doctors appointment, ask your mom to just not talk up and let you interact with the doctor instead.  Speak up, it's all you can do. 

It's hard being young and with a kid, especially young and single with a kid = /  I wish I could tell other youngins to wait but they wouldn't listen just like I wouldn't.  *sigh* this is just another problem to overcome.
allane_90
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:12 PM
i don't go anywhere with my parents but i do with my mil. people would assume that my two year old son and eleven month old daughter was hers and she actually enjoys it when people pays attention to her. one time a lady asked her if it was okay for my son to have a piece of candy and before she could say anything, i spoke up and said it was okay. yes, i may be turning 23 next month and don't look like i'm a mom because i look young but come on. my mil looks so old...lol.
AllieAsmom
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:20 PM
I know how you feel. I'm in sorta the same situation myself. I moved in with my mom while my husband gets us set up in North Carolina (we live in Michigan now). I hang out with my parents alot anyhow, and when we got out people think Allie is their daughter. I hate it. Yes I'm young but I can have babies too. You don't have to be in your 40's (thats how old my parents are) to have babies.
ZMOM21
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:31 PM
Hi, I know exactly what you are going through. I spend a lot of time in public with my Dad because my husband and I and my son still live at home with him, my hubby works days and Dad works nights so we eat out a lot and when we go places people ask him, "how old is YOUR son?" Exsqueeze me? If I am not mistaken, and a lot of times I say this, I have a husband, this is my DAD and I have the scar on my stomach from 17 hours of labor and a c-section to prove that he is mine! I hate how people assume these things and they dont even know me. We get a lot of looks from older people especially because they think that my Dad and I are a couple. First of all, NO!  Second of all, if I was to choose a father for my son, besides the excellent one he has, it would deffinetly be my DADDY! Im a Daddys girl! Good luck with the nosey, ignorant jerks in this world!
2babes2bigmen
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:39 PM

Well first of all your daughter is gorgeous and That's great that you have your parents support, I do aswell and I don't know what I'll do without my parents but My husband or I always carry our kids or hold their hands but I've never had that happen to me, Im only 22 and had my first when I was 20 but our toddlers look so much like me and my husband that theirs no confusion.  I hope I just don't look old .  Well have a great weekend , Shauna from southern Cali.

chainedtofate85
by on Apr. 20, 2007 at 11:53 PM

i kinda know what u mean. when i take my son out with my sister, she often carries him and im walkin behind her empty handed. i know people think hes hers and i hate it because im a PROUD mommy and i LIKE people to know that hes mine!! my mom comes with me to the doctor almost every time also and the doctor does talk to me but my moms always asking stupid questions that i know the answer to already and she makes me feel embarassed...or she nods her head at the doctor like "yeah ill have to remember to do that..." i think my mom forgets that hes mine half the time.....

navyma23
by on Apr. 21, 2007 at 11:47 AM

I have had that on many occasions. I live with my parents for the moment and everytime my mom and I take the girls out they always assume my mom is their mom. It gets annoying. My mom doesn't help either, she trys to take control sometimes and I have to remind her. You would think in our society they would be used to young mothers by now. But don't take it personally, thats just how some people are. They don't think outside the box.

trinsmommy
by on Apr. 21, 2007 at 11:55 AM
I just recently moved from my parents to my own apt.  I lived them for 2 years.  My daughter is 3.  I dont get the comments and the stares from people i dont know...its my family.  You would think that they know me and KNOW i have a daughter...you woule THINK that they would ask ME the questions about her??? NO they ask my mother....its like I raise my daughter...I just needed help getting on my feet.  Like WTH....It just ticks me off so bad...Kind of hurts my feelings.  I wish i got it from strangers lol
teekaroo
by on Apr. 21, 2007 at 11:57 AM
i wish i looked too young to be a mommy. i look ten years older than i am. i would say, correct people, but take it as a complement...motherhood has been kind to you.
ctyler10
by on Apr. 21, 2007 at 1:00 PM

Quoting addiktidtoavril:

Doesn't sound too fun... I'm only 21 as well.. but I also dont go out in public that often.. .'less its work..

Quote:

I did used to have a prob when I was like 15ish, my dad and I would go to breakfast or the store or something, and ppl would ASSume we were "TOGETHER".


Like, once, I had my eyebrow pierced, and we're sitting at the restaurant. the waitress asked me if it hurt and blah blah blah and asked if my parents allowed that... It was my dad's idea for one, and two.. i was like "um..." and looking at my dad.. my dad pipes up and says, "Yes, I did let her do that."

I used to have that same problem.  I'm 21 too. My stepdad always likes to go to breakfast or shopping even with me.  I hate it b/c even when I was like 12 people always assumed we were together.  Now I have a baby and we go somewhere. . yeah i'm older. . but they think he's the father.  I dont know why but I absolutely hate that.  I always made excuses when he'd want me to go with him and even now i won't answer my phone always when he calls b/c i know he wants us to go with him.  It sounds retarded but I just can't shake that feeling. 
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