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he might be able to finally adopt her!!!!!!

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:29 PM
  • 11 Replies
So my oldest DD is 5 her biological father has never been involved and has never wanted to. Or so he says. Last week I got a phone call from his fiance asking if it was true cuz he was denying he ever knew about her. I told her about our past conversations and how he is lying. So she told him that if he wanted to be involved in his daughters life then he could but that she wouldn't be with him cuz her daughter is more important to her and she won't help him take care of his. (Yet for the past 2 years he has helped her with her 5 year old daughter) I was mad about it at first but I don't care now.

My boyfriend and I have a 20 month old daughter and he has helped me with my DD since the day he came into my life. She calls him dad and has no idea he isn't her biological father. We talked about him legally adopting her but I couldn't find the sperm donor and neither could child support services. Every time they had an address on him he would disappear.

Well now he is close to $3000 behind in child support and his license is about to be revoked. His fiance wants to me call child support to stop charging him since he is willing to terminate his rights which is what I want. They told her though that the only way he can terminate his rights is if someone is willing to legally adopt her to take his place.

I'm fine with that but SO and I aren't married. And if its gonna cost money to do this I don't know how we are gonna get it. Sperm donor's fiance doesn't want his license revoked cuz he helps drop her daughter and nephews to school and what not. I could really care less about his license. I'm glad it finally got back on him and its affecting his life in a bad way.

Which route should I take? I want him out of our lives for good but I don't feel I owe him anything to call and make sure his license isn't revoked.
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by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
metalhealthmom
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:31 PM

I hope it works out. 

I think its weird that they said someone else has to be willing to adopt her to 'take his place' though. Is that like a restriction specific to your area? 

My friend is trying to have her son's father terminate his rights but the court never mentioned anything like that. 

Monarch101286
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:47 PM
I dunno if its just in California. I'm gonna go to child support services tomorrow to find out information myself. The fiance and I have been the ones getting this stuff done. Or at least that's who I always talk to. She even has the website of where I can get the forms for my SO to adopt her.
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Dolybye
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:03 PM

I've heard things like that for around here too (NJ)

I would tell her that if it means that much, and since he owes SO much. That if they want you to, you need it IN writing that they will help pay for the cost for him to adopt her

LancesMom
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:47 PM
Good Luck, hope everything works out!
MamaPeanut
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:50 PM
Most states will not allow the adoption unless you are legally married.
Also if you receive any type of assistance, the bio father cannot terminate his rights.
Any adoption costs money. My sisters husband adopted her daughter and after the lawyer, court fees, and guardian at litem fee, it was about $2,500.
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lilmama8408
by Gold Member on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:54 PM

Just go through the motions of your SO adopting her if thats what you both want. Dont worry about how it affectes her bio father. if he hasnt been there if 5 years i doubt he will ever come alone. and if he looses his licens tough shit. he knew he had to pay. and if he signed his rights over so your SO can adopt her the problem would go away

Lavender_oil3
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:12 AM
let it get revoked then stop pressing the charges
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JMKristy
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 1:57 AM

I live in Nv. A friend of mine who is a single mom was trying to terminate parental rights for her childs father, when she went to court, they denied it b/c she didn't have anyone to step up and adopt the child and she wasn't married. She appealed and won though.

Good luck, and I hope it all works out for you guys!!

Quoting metalhealthmom:

I hope it works out. 

I think its weird that they said someone else has to be willing to adopt her to 'take his place' though. Is that like a restriction specific to your area? 

My friend is trying to have her son's father terminate his rights but the court never mentioned anything like that. 


mommyinindiana
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 2:36 AM
If the girlfriend is so worried about him losing his license she should tell him to pay the money. If he wants to give up his rights i see no reason i judge wouldnt allow it i mean a lot of people are single parents and the kids are fine. Good luck
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Monarch101286
by on Mar. 29, 2011 at 3:30 AM
Thanks ladies. I'm really hoping her real dad can finally adopt her without any problems. We've been waiting almost 3 years for him to pop up so we can do this. Because sperm donor tried to make me a liar and kept dodging child support I don't care how the child support affects him.
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