Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I'm sure I'll get bashed for this...but I have to say it anyways...

Posted by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:05 PM
  • 33 Replies

I do not understand why people have kids that they can't afford! This has been nagging at me for almost 3 years (since I met DF's mom), and I need to get it off my chest.

She is one of 12 kids. Her parents NEVER tried to prevent pregnancy, despite doctors telling her mother that another pregnancy could be dangerous (she had 15 pregnancies-2 miscarriages and one baby that died at 2 weeks old). And every time my MIL talks about her childhood, it's to tell me stories about how there were some nights that they had to go to bed hungry because they couldn't afford food. Or that they only got one pair of shoes for an entire year, and by the end of the year the shoes would be so worn out that they might as well be wearing none at all. Or just another random stories about HOW POOR they were. I never say anything, but I want to say to her "then why the hell did they keep having kids?" I can understand one or two unplanned pregnancies (my DS was unplanned), but to have 12 when you know after 2 or 3 that you are struggling is just irresponsible, and really not fair to the kids. All that being said, if they had stopped, MIL never would have been born (she's the second to youngest), and so DF never would have been born. But still...I just don't get it.

I'm one of 5 kids. But my parents NEVER struggled for money. They both worked their asses off and were able to give us everything we needed, and still have money in savings. Maybe it's because of my upbringing that I feel this way, but it just really seems wrong to me. I feel terrible not being able to give my ONE child everything he deserves (at this time), and I couldn't imagine putting TWELVE kids through that.

Eh...IDK...maybe I'm just too idealistic in thinking that parents should put the kids they already have first, instead of adding more to the bunch.

Lilypie First Birthday tickers



Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:05 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Austinsmommy126
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:07 PM

I agree with you.  This girl I know tried to get pregnant (and did)...and they are poor as can be.  Can barely afford the child they already have.  Its sad for the kids. 

emeraldangel20
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:10 PM

i agree

mom2twins9909
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:10 PM

My husband had a horrible childhood. I don't understand it either.

RaLALA
by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:13 PM
Maybe they had the money and something changed. You never know.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
barrelracer1699
by Bronze Member on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:15 PM

I can understand where you are comming from but also your MIL came from an entirelly different era when it wasn't so looked down upon!!

Chaos1229
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:15 PM
Well your mother in law was raised in a diffrent time . Honestly birth control wasnt as easily available .
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
sarabur420
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:16 PM
I don't know who would bash you for that, noone could say that its NOT irresponsible.
My sister has a baby she already depends on everyone else to take care of, and is out there doing dudes like she's infertile. Smh, it's sad.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Gastromama2007
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:17 PM
My dad grew up dirt poor and he made a great life for me and my sister. Now that I have my two (both were unplanned) I'm working hard to give them a good life, I'm trying to hold down my job, and my son recieved child support, but I do have an income. I recieved foodstamps (bash away?) for the last year, so as poor as I may have been, I was proud to beg, and my children never went hungry.

Now I'm working and will stop recieving foodstamps, but I'm trying my hardest.

It's hard not to judge someone who has kids and poor finances, but I'm doing the best I can :) my children have a roof over their heads, food in their bellies and clothes on their backs :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ChefWhalensWife
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:21 PM

My grandfather was from a HUGE family growing up durring The Great Depression. Now those are some stories. He still does thing that reflect how he grew up. Like tomato sauce from the can and plain white bread that he uses to dip in it. I've always kinda qwirked my lips when I see him do stuff like that.

jessie82087
by on Apr. 13, 2011 at 7:21 PM

No...they didn't. I know this for a fact. They only started to bring some money in when MIL was about 10 years old.

Quoting RaLALA:

Maybe they had the money and something changed. You never know.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)