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What can you even say?

Posted by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:21 AM
  • 5 Replies
My son is four going on five and DEEEEEP into the "questions" stage

"What's this made out of?" or "Why does my hair grow" kind of stuff. Everything is an open topic for this little game of his

But he really caught me off guard today when he asked "Why is Uncle J in his special chair?"

... Just after his eighteenth birthday my younger brother was paralyzed from the shoulders down in a horrible ATV accident. His back was broken in seven places, the helmet he was wearing was completely shattered
He was in a coma for almost six weeks, they took a portion of his skull to reduce the brain swelling and molded it back together using pieces of his rib cage.
He suffered memory loss, an inability to control his temper and many other side effects you might not instantly think about (ie girlfriend of three years dumped him, he wasn't able to walk the stage at HS graduation, he had to learn how to use a catheter and RELEARN how to do everything else like eat)

But I can't tell my son that, because my brother is NOT his accident. He is not his chair ... He is a young man who was once reckless and has worked tirelessly to rebuild his life.
He lives in his own apartment with his dog, he drives his own vehicle, works, goes to school, participates in a pool league and even goes out to the bars or clubs to have fun with friends.

So what do I tell my son instead?
"Uncle J is in his wheelchair because he's tougher than everyone else."
<3
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by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:21 AM
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Replies (1-5):
army_wifey_06
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:23 AM
Awe I think that's a great answer to your sons question! You're brother sounds like an amazing guy!
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brandylyn_cohea
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:34 AM
Thank you very much - he is amazing and I am just so SO proud of him

Now if he'd just find the right girl and settle down a bit I wouldn't have to worry about the partying lol but he is still a young guy, plenty of time for both
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KREP
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 3:48 AM
I've been put in this situation before too. My older brother has Mental retardation, like you said that's not who he is. My 7 year asked what was wrong with him. I told him nothing is "wrong" with him. He was just made extra special!
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TDMumof3
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 4:01 AM

DITTO

Quoting army_wifey_06:

Awe I think that's a great answer to your sons question! You're brother sounds like an amazing guy!


Jenn8604
by on Apr. 23, 2011 at 4:07 AM
Thats up to u how to answer that. If it works for u go for it. tho when someone else who has cerabal palsey (sp) or something else and is in a wheelchair are u gonna give the same answer? just something to think about.
and no he is who he is the chair and the accident arent him. they just are part of ur bros trip thru life.
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