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Looking for advice and questions about abortion

Posted by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:48 PM
  • 110 Replies

Where to begin... well i am 23 and for about 6 months I have been seeing a man that is 38. He is in the coast guard and when we met was going through a seperation from his wife. I feel ashamed of myself for ever getting involved with him but i guess he told me everything that i wanted to hear but nothing that was true. I stayed with him at one of his rental homes because I didnt have my own place and was living with my parents. So last Friday the 13th I found out that I was pregnant. Its entirely my fault or both of our faults because we didnt use protection. I did not want a baby at all and we never even discussed it. I guess after the first month or two went by and I didnt get pregnant I thought that I never would. He does have 3 children but he is also older now so a part of me thought he was too old to have more children. Well long story short, saturday night he comes home and I tell him that I am pregnant and he just says "ok" and acts really weird all weekend. He had already been through this several times before with his wife so I thought maybe since it wasnt new was why he wasnt excited. Well little did I know for the past several months he has been talking to his wife and has been checking shit off of her list to change for her and get back with her. So then Monday morning he calls me and leaves me a voicemail that he's not coming home and that he will give me until the following day to get out and he'll send a friend to see if I am gone. I have been numb ever since. He couldn't even break up with me in person! and he's avoiding me and my calls. I found out he was trying to get back with his wife from the friend that came over on Tuesday, which was HER SISTER. Isn't that so nice? So after all of this and being played like a fool now I am pregnant and all alone. I am living on friends couches right now. I haven't found a perminent situation and i'm not sure that I will. My family has completely disowned me for having a relationship with him. I told my mother that I was pregnant and that he left and her exact words were, "i guess what goes around comes around". I'm not sure that I will ever speak to her again and I will add that my younger sister got pregnant at 15 and still lives with my mother who has basically raised her baby so I don't know why she is so mad at me. 

I have been so upset this past week that I feel as if I have thrown myself into a manic episode. I am bipolar and my doctor told me that I could not take any of my medications. I am 9 weeks along they said. Up until that appointment I had still been taking them so I dont know whats going to happen. I am have been unable to sleep, eat, and I feel so awful all of the time. I called the doctors office and couldnt get in for a month and the nurse told me that i'm probably having withdrawel and its normal. Cant withdrawel kill you?! I have been worried sick I have an anxiety disorder as well. I am so worried that I am going to have a heart attack because i havent slept in a week. So aside from feeling like shit and being bipolar and I am also pregnant and i dont even have a job or a place to live or any family. One night this week i slept in my car. I have never felt so depressed and ive even thought about trying to kill my baby but i'm worried if I do that I will kill myself too. I have been feeling extremely low and suicidial. I can't even get dick face to answer his phone so I know he wants no part of me or this baby. I am really not in a good place in my life right now to be goign through with this. I know there have got to be some women on here who have been through it so I just wanted to talk about my situation and get some advice. Have you had an abortion? Whats the procedure like? How painful is it and how much does it usually cost?  Is there anything I should look into or ask the doctor and what places do it? Thank you in advance for all of your help.

** i already stated this but because some of you are slow I will say again that I am bipolar and withdrawing from medication and having a manic episode. I have not slept in a week and I am suicidal. I am very upset right now and Im just trying to get advice from someone who has had an abortion. If you want to judge me or come on here and be a bitch, save it for someone who cares. I could really give a crap about your personal views on abortion I just wanted to hear from someone who has had one and never said for sure that I was having one. Thank you.

**update #2

  • Well just an update I did take some of the advice and also posted in another group. I applied online for benefits, I applied for everything they let you apply for LOL  and I called the office to see how long it takes for them to decide and the lady said that you can actually come into the office and take a number and someone will speak with you and let you know that day. So I am going there tomorrow morning as soon as they open. After speaking to a few woman I am really going to consider all of my options but at this point I know I need to get some help right now and this is very time sensitive. I cannot say that I will not have an abortion but I do not feel that in my current state I can continue this pregnancy if I am not on medication because I am feeling suicidal. My heart is racing from lack of sleep and I have a headache like you wouldnt believe. I've had many other symptoms but was told the racing heart could be serious. I have been on the phone all day trying to get stuff worked out. I have a friend that might drive me later to the ER because a nurse told me that if I am having some of the symptoms I am having it could be deadly and I should get medication to help me sleep. Thank you to everyone who has offered support and tried to give advice. To all the people who just wanted to tell me how I make them sick... I think you should take a good look in the mirror because that shade of judgement isn't very good on you.

by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mom2twins9909
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:57 PM

confused

SarahLynn0315
by on May. 21, 2011 at 2:58 PM

Didn't we like, JUST have one of these?

lenoxclan
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:01 PM

ummm... well.. If this is legit, I think you need to maybe talk to a actual doctor(that does abortions)or google it hon:0)

summergroupie79
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:04 PM

I will be doing some research but I also wanted to hear from someone who has had one because I dont want to go someplace shady or be ripped off and I want to know what to look for.

Quoting lenoxclan:

ummm... well.. If this is legit, I think you need to maybe talk to a actual doctor(that does abortions)or google it hon:0)


Bl3ss3dMommi
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:05 PM
*Insert popcorn eating sweet pea here*
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summergroupie79
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:06 PM

What?

Quoting Bl3ss3dMommi:

*Insert popcorn eating sweet pea here*


Alejandra10
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:14 PM
Did his wife know about you? I would go over their and let her know wbat is going on and weather you choose abortion or keeping it he should help you out i would go let her know if she doesnt already but thats just me. Theirs always adoption but im guessing your not freaking about so much because you dont want baby its more because you dont know what to do right now. Is their anyway you can go to another doctor sooner. If you want an abortion you need to act fast. But i think first you should get a second opinion with another doctor tell him your story and maybe they can give you other optiong maybe other medication that you can take or some places where they can help you. You can find a shelter to stay in while you look for a job and get on your feet.
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Rach0307
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:21 PM
Well, regardless of what you choose, he LEGALLY needs to help you. You didn`t get yourself into this, you both did. Go to his "happy home" and demand that he help you.
If you do choose an abortion, Planned Parenthood will probably be your cheapest and safest option, since they`re all over the country.
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Bl3ss3dMommi
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:23 PM
This is gonna get interesting!

Quoting summergroupie79:

What?


Quoting Bl3ss3dMommi:

*Insert popcorn eating sweet pea here*


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
rosemagic01
by on May. 21, 2011 at 3:26 PM

There is a women in here who's just had another miscarriage. Not a real good topic for this group right now and considering you don't have kids and you just want an abortion I'm pretty certain that classifies you as a 'non-cafemom' Do research its the best you can do and oh do it quickly because 9 weeks....yeah a little late for a lot of states you don't have a lot of time left.

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