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Advice needed ASAP!!

Posted by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:33 PM
  • 11 Replies

Ok first of all I made a new account for my safety and that of my friend and her babies so please dont bash. I know how some of you are. This is no prank, this is a very serious situation!!

Ok I have a very close friend from high school who is 20 weeks pregnant and has a 15 month old son. Her husband is EXTREMELY abussive. Nobody knows this but me becasue she is embarrased. He has hit her in the face and stomach during both pregnancies and has choked her to the point of passing out. she knows she isnt safe with him and confessed to me last night that she thinks he could kill her one day. Her dad has hit her all her life so she "says" she knows its wrong but she is used to it. She also confessed that he has told her he doesnt think either of the babies are his (they 100% are) and that if she doesnt stop being such a fat cunt he will make her watch him kill her son!!! I literally wanted to vomit when she told me that. I know he is like she say he is. In 5th grade he told a girl he was going to bring a gun to school and blow her head off. I am seriously afraid for her safety and have begged her to leave him. She says she isnt strong enough to. Im afraid Im going to wake up one day and find out she is either missing or has been found dead. I have printed out all our facebook chats and am trying to get copies of or text messages just in case I might need them one day. Im afraid I'm not doing enough, I feel like I should tell someone but I dont want to betray her trust. What else can I do??

by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:33 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsChairez
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:37 PM
I don't know. Maybe you could go to the police with the convos, but unless she tells them the same, there isn't much they can do. She has to press charges. She had to leave him. I'm not much help... I've never had to deal with a situation like this.
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MrsChairez
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:39 PM
Plus, you aren't betraying her trust by trying to get her help, if it's like you say. Like we tell our kids, "Don't keep a friend's secret if that secret is causing them harm."
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Xat
by Silver Member on Jul. 8, 2011 at 1:52 PM
My sister was in a similiar situation. Her husband threatened to kill her and her kids and abused them all. He was always with the kids so she couldn't try to leave. One night he beat her really bad and passed out afterwards, she snuck the kids out and called the cops. She didnt press charges against him but the DA did. He is now facing 20 years in jail. She needs to press charges against him and stay far away from him. I hope things get better.
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stellarmom1
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:03 PM
Wow it sounds like she needs to run and get away from him. You need to keep on talking to her about working up the courage to leave! This isn't about just her anymore it's her kids lives at stake too. Does she have any Nonabusive family members you could contact? I would start there.
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mammabear18
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:07 PM
This made me sick...first of all for the safety of the kids she needs to leave. There are options restraining orders, she can even have an officer on duty to be there when she is moving that way he isn't physical. I mean come on she needs to wake up and realize her life is in danger and especially for those kids.
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Jessica_87
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:09 PM

What about calling a women's shelter and taking her there to talk to a counselor? They help make escape plans ect. they even have help finding the women job ect and getting the restraining order against the hubby. In the end it has to be her choice. Let her know she can do it and she must do it for her kids! they need their mommy.

Monkey_Momma02
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:12 PM

BUMP!

lenoxclan
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:18 PM

Your friend will be in my prayers momma..I hope that she will get the strength to leave, if not for herself, than for her children... I honestly don't know how any momma couldn't put their children's safety first OR wouldn't fit to the last breath for said safety of children.. But, I have never been in a situation of abuse either..HUGS to you.. There isn't much more you can do except be there, unless she decides to leave, her situation isn't going to change.

xxLukesMamaxx
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Better to betray her trust then to wish you would have when it's to late....
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jessiebug27
by on Jul. 8, 2011 at 2:37 PM

 meet up with her and drive to the police station with the convo's and tell her she needs to press charges and get his ass arrested! she doesnt deserve that and neither do her children! she needs to get out of there before its too late for the kids!

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