• In the Spotlight:
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Debate in my family... (LONGISH)

Posted by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:03 PM
  • 14 Replies

 So here is a little back story.. DH and I moved in with my grandmother while I was pregnant (7 months) so that we could save a little money, and help my grandma out with her house. After I had DS I lost my job, and then I was a SAHM for a bit, but we couldnt really afford it, so I went back to work. Well, I started back to school and my job would not work with my school schedule, so then I became a SAHM/full time student. At the time we could afford it, so there was really no issue concerning house work, dinner, bills etc. Well DH's company dissolved the position he had, and moved him to another dept at less pay. To compensate for the loss in income, he has taken on a PT time job. So basically he leaves the house at like 6:45 AM and gets home anywhere from 6:30 PM - 9:00 PM. And works at least one day during the weekend for 2-8 hours, sometimes both Saturday and Sunday. The second job he has is very laid back and somewhat flexable hours, but pays well, and eventually a full time position will be available for him if things take off the way that they should. (He is helping someone expand their business, bascially ground up). If DH is lucky, he will get to see DS for about 10-15 minutes before it is bed time.

So here is where the debate comes in. I am home most of the day. My grandmother very rarely leaves the house, especially since she watches DS while I am in school. I am in school from 7:00 AM - 11:00 AM. I watch DS the rest of the day.  I believe that DH should NOT have to come home to have me say "Honey, can you cook dinner, clean the kitchen, etc". I do pretty much all the cleaning (Laundry, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping etc) and about 90% of the cooking, my gma does about 5% of it, and On the weekends if DH is home, he will cook a couple of meals, just bc he likes to cook. On the nights that I cook, usually my gma and DH will do the dishes, if DH cooks, my gma and I clean, and if my gma cooks, DH and I clean. Usually DH is doing the dishes alone bc my gma is tired or what not. I try to have her do as little house cleaning as possibe. The only room I do not touch is her room. So when DH gets home, I have dinner ready for him,  and when he is done eating he will normally do the dishes (any that I have not already done) and then he will usually fire up the playstation for about 20 minutes, maybe play on the comp depending on how late it is, or watch a TV show with me.

My grandmother seems to always be telling me how lazy he is, and that he needs to "get off his high and mighty horse, do some d*mn house cleaning, cook a meal, do SOMETHING other than eat, sleep, and play games." She doesn't really seem to have to guts to tell him to his face. I usually just dont say anything and wait for her to finish her rant, and then walk off.

I honestly believe that DH should have as little responsiablity as possible on the days that he works late. On the weekends, I will definally ask him to do a few things around the house.

What do you think?  Should I keep my stand of "well he works 2 jobs..." or start asking him to do more around the house to keep the peace?

*Moving out is not an option at this time, due to funds, and my grandmother's health*

Britany


Dallas/Fort Worth Mom's Group Owner


DH Gary, DS Liam, SD Emmalee

by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:03 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
TaeTaeLove
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:25 PM
If he's working 6 days a week +, then no, he doesn't need to do house work too. You only go to school for 4 hours, so you should be able to get most of it done. It sounds like she doesn't do much of anything, so maybe she should get off the high and mighty and do something herself...
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
baquick
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:25 PM

BUMP!

brettsbaby86
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:30 PM

BUMP!

SpikedMango
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:34 PM


Quoting TaeTaeLove:

If he's working 6 days a week +, then no, he doesn't need to do house work too. You only go to school for 4 hours, so you should be able to get most of it done. It sounds like she doesn't do much of anything, so maybe she should get off the high and mighty and do something herself...

Plus, if you're a SAHM, you've made it your own job. He works-you work. Sounds fair to me.

Ngelulu
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:36 PM
I think since like TaeTaeLove said, you only go to school for a few hrs. So I think you can take care of the house work and such. He is working so you don't have to and that you can go to school.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kayshalea
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:40 PM
If you both were working I would say share the house work
NovaChick26
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:44 PM

I say he works hard for your family and I agree with your stance . I dont get how your grandmother dosnt see it that way unless she just dosnt like him.

baquick
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:54 PM

 She has her moments, but over all I wonder if she likes him more than me LOL

baquick
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 7:54 PM

BUMP!

hdecker1217
by on Aug. 17, 2011 at 8:01 PM
I completely agree w/you. You've made it your primary job to be a SAHM. From the way you've made it seem, he does do some things around the house, which is better than none! If I were him, I'd be pissed to come home at 9:00 PM and be nagged to do some housework.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)