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What Would You Like To Say.........? *Adult Content*

Posted by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:16 AM
  • 103 Replies
9 moms liked this
What would you like to say to your SO regarding his bedroom behavior?

DH & I are just NOT on the same page lately! I swear, if shit don't change, I'm gonna hand him this list! O_o

I'd like to say:

1. DO NOT grab my boob & call it "foreplay". KISS ME!

2. When you go "downtown" DO NOT drool down my crack! THAT ITCHES & ruins the moment when I have to reach to scratch it!

3. When you're "downtown" & I finish & push you away, it's because any continued action TICKLES! Would you like me to pee on your face? :-/

4. MY LEGS DON'T STRETCH LIKE THAT! When exactly did I give you the impression that I am an Olympic medal winning gymnist? -_-

5. Quickies when the kids are awake are IMPOSSIBLE! Stop following me into the laundry room like a dog in heat! O_O

6. LUBE is your friend! If you spit on it one more time, I'm gonna start using spit to make the frying pan non-stick when I make your dinner! ยป:-|

7. When you go downtown, STOP resting your front teeth on my very sensitive skin! My gynocologist is gonna start wondering if I'm into beastiality!


That's all I can think of for now....

Feel free to laugh & make fun of me! I'm beginning to remember why I stuck to celebacy for that 6 months! O_o

Your turn!

What would you say?
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by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:16 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Robe739IsBack
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Bump
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mrinewfe21
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:19 AM

I think i'd have to use your list lol, you basically got it down to a T for me!!  oo and i'd add stop grabbing my ass and saying "honk honk" and calling that foreplay!

Meg2011425
by Gold Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:21 AM
Thats too funny. But next guy I meet better not spit on anything if it's going in me.

Nothing rough without lube cause I don't want another sex injury that requires stitches.
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ladybugchar
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM

you crack me up!!

xomrs.chase
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:22 AM
Hahaha! Sorry- I got a visual on a couple and it made me giggle. Men can be so clueless sometimes.

Honey,
I love you- and I think you're sexy- but I'm 34 weeks pregnant. No matter how many positions we try or how many different places (bed, tub, chair, etc) we try- I'm going to be uncomfortable... Please stop teasing me and getting me going... Because I never get to finish due to all the discomfort and its SO frustrating... And no. I don't want you to put your face down there... We don't know what that discharge is exactly- and some of the possiilities would ruin kissing.

Kthx.
And remember- I love you!

Xoxo
-your darling (and very pregnant) beached-whale of a wife <3
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i.m.r.
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM
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lol umm... I'd like more foreplay I guess? His routine is start kissing me, go straight for the downstairs area and then start sex. This whole lead up for him takes maybe five minutes. What happened to steamy makeout sessions that lasted for like an hour before the other foreplay even started??? Sometimes I don't mind to go right in for the kill, but sometimes I need to be romanced KWIM? Especially if I hadn't even been thinking of sex until he pounced, I need a little time for my body to warm up to the idea... It's been bothering me lately. Of course I think I'd be happy if he even TRIED to have sex at this point.

Dayciavu
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:24 AM
Haha I totally agree with 3, 4, and 5.
XoXo.Nikki.XoXo
by Ruby Member on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:25 AM
Lmao! That made me laugh. Sorry!
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CrickettyBoo
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:25 AM
I'd give him that list.
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mom2twins9909
by on Nov. 9, 2011 at 10:26 AM
lol
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