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I Miss the Days Before You Were Born!

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:11 PM
  • 7 Replies

Is what my sister used to say to me when we would argue as kids. I cannot tell you how deep that tore into me. Sometimes, she'd go further and say mom was happier then too. Fucking ouch, right? What 7 year old deserves to hear that from her 14 year old sister?!

And I was the shy, scared of my own shadow type, so I never said anything to my mom. Until my sister moved out.

Fast forward to now.

My daughter is 2 and I know I want more kids, but I can't talk myself into TTC just yet. I was ovulating last week and I could've gotten pregnant, we had sex, but we protected ourselves and now I'm on my period. Maybe that's why I'm so emotional, or analytical or whatever but I want my kids close in age. I want so badly for them to grow up TOGETHER, I do not want my DD to remember life as an only =/

So why am I telling myself I'm not ready? We're financially stable, SO is an active and great father, he wants another, what's my deal? Some times I wonder if I can do it all, sometimes its if DD is ready to be a big sister (is that stupid?), sometimes its can I love two kids the same amount? Cause holy Lord do I love my daughter. Is it possible to have kids 4+ years apart and avoid these horribly mean (and in my case self esteem altering...) arguements from happening?

Idk, just an emotional ramble. You can move on.

by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:11 PM
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Replies (1-7):
MLBrown
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:16 PM
My middle son was 4 1/2 when I had lil man and not that they are super close but middle man loves his lil bro...I don't know if its because he spent alot of time with me while I was preggo since big man was in school..he went to all my Dr appts...maybe that makes more of a difference
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bunnywzrd
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:20 PM

hugs momma. Me and my brother were 6 years apart and we never fought like that. My daughters are 4 and a half years apart and I have never heard anything like that from them either. As for loveing your second as much as your first. I really had my doubts that I could love another child as much as I loved my first. I didn't think it was possible. I love my youngest just as much as my oldest. It's a different love. I love them both but differently.

Maybe ask your daughter is she wants a baby. We asked my oldest if she would like a baby brother or sister.

If you are not ready though I would wait. My daughter was 3 before I could bring myself to even think about having another baby. It is not horrible to have them several years apart.

KenzieQsMommy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:22 PM


Quoting MLBrown:

My middle son was 4 1/2 when I had lil man and not that they are super close but middle man loves his lil bro...I don't know if its because he spent alot of time with me while I was preggo since big man was in school..he went to all my Dr appts...maybe that makes more of a difference


That's a good point. I imagine my sister was in school when my mom had dr's appointments.

I would defintely keep my daughter involved in everything. A few months ago she started asking for a baby brother. Its strange, but she talks about having a baby brother a lot. Sometimes a sister, usually a brother lol.

KenzieQsMommy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:27 PM


Quoting bunnywzrd:

hugs momma. Me and my brother were 6 years apart and we never fought like that. My daughters are 4 and a half years apart and I have never heard anything like that from them either. As for loveing your second as much as your first. I really had my doubts that I could love another child as much as I loved my first. I didn't think it was possible. I love my youngest just as much as my oldest. It's a different love. I love them both but differently.

Maybe ask your daughter is she wants a baby. We asked my oldest if she would like a baby brother or sister.

If you are not ready though I would wait. My daughter was 3 before I could bring myself to even think about having another baby. It is not horrible to have them several years apart.

Thank you so much!

My daughter has been talking about a baby brother for months now. It came outta nowhere lol. She was a surprise when we had her and we were nowhere near ready. At. All. We've pulled a 180 since then and things are great for the most part. So I'm not really sure what exactly I am waiting for. And I'm also well aware that it could take some time.

KNSmommyof2
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Well you are about 7 years younger than your sister right? Which made her about7 when you were born so she would remember, but I think even a 4 year old wouldnt remember to much about being an only child as the years go by. My kids are only 14 months apart and even though my 2nd was a bit of a surprise I wouldn't change having them so close in age for the world. The closer they are in age the more they will have in common. Yeah they might fight a good bit growing up but they are already the best of friends. They mess with each other all the time to make the other one mad, but they are quick to protect each other if someone else messes with them. I am the baby out of my brother and sisters. My brother is 6 years older than me and we have always been close! Even though I am married with my own kids, he is about to get married and have a stepson, and we don't talk that much anymore I know he would be here with me in a heartbeat if I needed him. So either way wether they are close in age or not so much you will have your problems, but when it comes down to it they will always be there for each other. And you will be surprised how you can love 2 children the same!! I felt the same way when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd. I couldn't imagine loving another child as much as my first born, but I do!!!
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lilmissashhleyy
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:37 PM
My sister and I are two years apart we fight all the time still to this day lol my brother however is 14 years younger then me and I get along with him great. I could never imagine how life was like before he was here.! I guess it all depends on the kid
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MistressMomma
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 3:46 PM

My son turned 4 years old 2 months before my daughter was born. I was sure that he would be jealous of her or something but the day he saw her he was in absolute awe of her. And again I was convinced that it would change. 14 months later he is her favorite person in the whole world and he adores her still!

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