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My first post ever on Cafemom almost 4 1/2 years ago.

Posted by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:40 PM
  • 10 Replies
Is this fair?

Posted by calleigh0709 on 9/26/07 at 2:48am

Hi. My name is keya and i am 19 years old. i just needed some place to let everything in my head go and this seems like the perfet place. I moved in with my boyfriend August 25th. He was pitching a fit because i lived in north florida with our daughter and my parents while he lived in central florida with two roommates in a camper trailer. He went to school full time while also working a part time job. But because he was complaining i moved out of my parents house which was of a decent size. i had my own room and so did my daughter. but i love him so i sacrificed to please him. It was extremely crowded with 4 people and a baby to live. btu then the two roommatges moved out so the place was ours.His parents own it anyway. well, the roommates were pigs. i had to scrub that place fromtop to bottom.you could barely walk fromone side of the house tothe other.which is bad considering it is only about 30 steps. well, my boyfriend leaves the house at 4:30 in teh morning and comes home at 7:30 at night. So, for 15 hours a day i am by myself with no one to talk to except a 2 month old. I clean the house, do laundry, and make dinner. all while i take care of our child. then when he comes home i ask him what he would like to do and he says he wants to go to sleep. he does this every nioght He gets jealous when i call to talk to my family. i can only call them after 9 because that's when my minutes are free. i have only visited my family once since i moved. we visit his family constantly and they live the same distance away from us only in the other direction. i wanted to spend a few days with my mom and was totally shut down onnthat idea.he was so mad he didn't talk to me for 2 hours. i asked to spend a few days with his mom and he jumps at the idea. my brother is coming home from the navy for two week before he is shipped off again and i don't know if i will be able to see him.he has never met my daughter and he would love to meet her. my boyfiend told me thaty i am acting selfish because i want so much from him. i want to visit my family. i want togo out on some nights. being stuck in a camper for 75 hours a week isn't my cup of tea. we are going to be moving into his mothers house next month which is where i am right now. theyb are now spending more time with my daughter than i am. she sleeps in their room.she goes places with them. they feed her.they have the nerve to tellme when my daughter can eat because they have her on a schedue now. when she cries they take her and won't let me calm her.it seems like they want my daughter to become theirs. my boyfriend doesn't seem to understand where i am coming fromon all of this. anyways.i think i am done for now. there willprobably be something new to share tomorrow. thanks for listening.
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by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lovenoahandjeff
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:43 PM
Wow.
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.Pagan.
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:44 PM

hmm ill have to go look mine up.

has your situation gotten any better since then? that sounds like you were feeling pretty helpless at that point in time.

kbank67
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Hope everything is better
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MAyers
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:46 PM
I hope things have changed since then.
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calleigh0709
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:47 PM
Yeah. My life has changed drastically since then. We spmit up when our daughter was 16 months old. He had become physically and emotionally abusive. Our daughter will be 5 in July. Since then I have met an incredible man and we have a beautiful 17 month old daughter. My oldest daughter now has a 4 month old brother from her dad. He is still a jerk and actually left his girlfriend 3 days after their son was born. Once an ass always an ass I suppose. I'm just glad that he is really no longer a, major part in my life
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kohlin91
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:51 PM
I think u should try to talk to him n his parents cuz I was worried that my now husband parents were going to do the same so I was always worried but they do I think if they did I would blow up at them I know u love him but I would of stayed at ur moms cuz it sounds like at her house u were actually able to b ur daughters mom
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.Pagan.
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:52 PM
Posted by on Jun. 3, 2008 at 11:33 AM
  • 4 Replies
ok so i will try to make this as short as possible. My husband and i have made it a point never to get to angry with eachother we both have temper issue probs in the past but we havent let it affect our relationship. He has a stressful job as a Marine but he has been doing it for 10 years and tells me everything so he vents plenty. In the past month though he has been having issues with dealing with his anger. Like a few nights back i woke up at 2 30 in the morning and he wasnt there he had left to go for a run because he said he was just really angry for some reason and needed to get it out of his system and he said he didnt know why ( he is always very honest even if it hurts my feelings so i know he was telling the truth about not knowing why he was sooo angry) and then yesterday he was cooking and picked up a raw piece of chicken then wiped his hands on the stove towel and left it there. i told him he needed to put it in the wash room after he did that because of salmanela from the chicken since he didnt wash his hands. He freaked out he got soo mad and i was like " well if i wouldnt have saw that myself and used it then gotten sick from the raw chicken while pregnant that wouldnt have been good" he freaked out and started spraying bleach cleaner all over the counter where our food was at uncovered so i told him nicely ill clean just leave it alone and then he walked out of the kitchen punching doors. He has never done that before and then like 5 minutes later he was fine and making jokes. i read today that men get symapthy issues when we are pregnant and that can include mood swings but i dont know what i can do to help him relax. have any of ya'll had these issues while you were pregnat?
omg....i totally forgot abt that...well i remember we went to marriage counseling because he randomly punched a door but i couldn't for the life of me remember why he did. so i read this one and the post after it where i called the marriage counselor and it made me sad :( BUT i am very thankful things have come so far and are so great now :)
kohlin91
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:52 PM
I'm glad everything is better now
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calleigh0709
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 5:54 PM
You said he was in the Marines. I grew up in the military and he sounds like he may have had a mild form of PTSD. My dad had it. Has he changed since then?
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.Pagan.
by on Feb. 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

yes he did actuallyhave that. he was in the push into Baghdad and some things happened that were pretty crazy. i knew that the first night we stayed together and it had gotten better gradually but i guess the pressure of an unplanned pregnancy on him was not mixing well with it all. in the end it turned out that he was scared that he was going ot be a failure at being a father and was still trying to figure out how to be a husband and balance that with the demands of the Marine Corps on him. things are great now :) he is an awesome dad and husband. we had to go to marriage counseling for  4 sessions to work out a communication issue we were having since then but that's it.

Quoting calleigh0709:

You said he was in the Marines. I grew up in the military and he sounds like he may have had a mild form of PTSD. My dad had it. Has he changed since then?


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