my DD's father **controversial topic! please don't bash anyone!**

[scoleman828]

So, my 6yo DD spends every weekend with her dad.
We have been split up for almost 3 years so she's very used to this. One of the reasons we split up is because he was a pathological liar. He would hide things that he was doing even though they were meaningless (what he was doing at work, etc).
Well, one thing he hid from me was smoking cigarettes. Now, in the beginning of our relationship I asked him if he would quit. He told me yes. For years, this was a battle between us. I finally decided to let it go, but he continued to lie.
That's the back story. My question for you ladies is - is it appropriate for him to smoke in his house while DD is there? She comes home every Sunday afternoon smelling like stale smoke with a cough. By Wednesday, she's fine. I know I can't make him stop but I just wonder, do I have a right to be upset? And what would you do about it, if anything?

[AmericanChild82]

Yes you have a right. Its affecting her health and that should your number 1 concern.

[Jess8685]

My sons father is court ordered to smoke outside and to keep my son away from anyone who smokes bc he's allergic to the smoke and either way u look at it second hand smoke is just as bad.. BUT with that being said he still smells like smoke when he comes home and there's really nothing I can do about bc they smoke inside when he's not there so there will always be smoke smell in the house... You can get upset about it all you want but unless u can get supervised visits outside his home then there's not to much u can do..

[geekmommy84]

Yes and yes, whoever has main custody should put that as a stipulation. 2nd hand smoke is worse than the person smoking it(least what i was told growing up).

[angi07]

Yes her health is at risk

[cnlsmommy]

Agree with the ladies above. I have no problems with smokers, I even smoke an occasional cigarette, but do NOT expose your children!

[BrownEyedGirl86]

I would think you could just ask him and as her parent he would smoke outside but yea I think you can go to court and they court order him.

[scoleman828]

And that's what my biggest issue with it is.

Quoting AmericanChild82:

Yes you have a right. Its affecting her health and that should your number 1 concern.

[scoleman828]

We don't have a a CO (yet). This is something that has only recently come to my attention (in the past few months). That, along with a few other things, are pushing me toward the court.

Quoting Jess8685:

My sons father is court ordered to smoke outside and to keep my son away from anyone who smokes bc he's allergic to the smoke and either way u look at it second hand smoke is just as bad.. BUT with that being said he still smells like smoke when he comes home and there's really nothing I can do about bc they smoke inside when he's not there so there will always be smoke smell in the house... You can get upset about it all you want but unless u can get supervised visits outside his home then there's not to much u can do..

[scoleman828]

He only thinks of himself. It's pretty sad... I will definitely make it a stipulation when I take it to court.

Quoting geekmommy84:

Yes and yes, whoever has main custody should put that as a stipulation. 2nd hand smoke is worse than the person smoking it(least what i was told growing up).

[i.m.r.]

I hate when people smoke inside when kids live there (actually I hate it no matter what, and I'm a smoker). My df's colleague smokes inside with her two young children and it makes me so angry. The only reason she doesn't do it in the car too is because it's illegal. I would make him smoking outside a stipulation to the custody agreement. I get it, it's cold outside, no one wants to bundle up just to smoke (I'm assuming it's cold wherever you are lol) but when a child is involved you suck it up. It was -25 degrees celcius yesterday and df and I still went outside.