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22 AND ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:03 AM
  • 9 Replies

OKAY IM 22 I RECENTLY JUST LOST MY MOTHER TO BREAST CANCER IVE NEVER BEEN ON MY OWN BEFORE NOW I HAVE MY OWN APARTMENT JUST MY SON AND I ITS SUCH A HUGE ADJUSTMENT... I WAS WONDERING HOW DO I GET USE TO BEING ON MY OWN ARE THERE ANY OTHER MOTHERS OUT THERE WHO BEEN IN A SITUATION SIMILAR TO MIND WHO IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING BY YOURSELF OR IF  YOU LIVE BY YOURSELF HOW DO YOU STOP THE FEELING OF BEING LONELY

by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:03 AM
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RileyMom9.10.11
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:07 AM
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Have friends over. Find a good babysitter you trust when you need errands and work. Its just going to take some time. Do you have any family nearby?
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mom_of_one_2010
by Gold Member on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:07 AM
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I'm sorry for your loss. Welcome to cafemom. I have kinda be on my own since 16, you learn adapt and you over come.

I'm sorry if the last statement was rude. That is just how I did it.


Where y'all close? Did your son have a connection with her?


Time is the only real answer
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Zachmom09
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:10 AM

I DONT HAVE MUCH FAMILY THAT IM REALLY CLOSE TO BUT I HAVE A BEST FRIEND WHO IS LIKE A SISTER TO ME.

Zachmom09
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:12 AM

WE WERE SUPER CLOSE I TOOK CARE OF HER BY MYSELF AND DIDNT REALIZE SHE WAS DYIN RIGHT BEFORE MY EYES MY SON LOVED HER OH SO MUCH JUST AS MUCH AS SHE LOVED HIM HE GOT TO SAY GOODBYE ALSO SHE WAS MY FRIEND AS WELL AS MY MOM I JUST NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD LOSE MY MOTHER SO EARLY IN MY LIFE IT SEEMS LIKE SHE LIVED LONG ENOUGH TO WALK ME DOWN THE PATH OF MOTHERHOOD :-)

Gastromama2007
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:15 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry for your loss.

I've been on my own since 17. You just kind of adapt and learn how to do it without help. I can't really explain it...it's something you learn with experience.

Good luck mama.
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LilMamaK
by Kaht on Feb. 23, 2012 at 8:44 AM
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 I've been on my own since I was 18 so I've gotten use to raising DD by my self and having that mind set. What I use to do, was, plan fun days! If I'm off from work DD and I would have PJ and movie days! Or we would do road trips! Nothing too far (I live in Orlando, FL and we'd have road trips to St. Augustine, miami, tamp, wich are 1-3 hours away from us) We also would do beach days. As she got older we now do salon days at home... I paint her nails and toes and do her hair and we just do fun things at home so little by little that lonelyness fades.

*~*Wifey To Tommy(2.4.11), Mommy to Allyana(7.5.08), & Our angel baby Jovanny(3.6.10)*~*

amyers_2010
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 11:19 AM

i think we all feel a sense of lonliness in life, at least until we find that prefect someone to share our life with, but as far as being a single parent and on my own, its very difficult and takes a lot of adjusting for not only you but your baby too. the best thing i can tell you to do is find time for yourself when your baby goes to bed so it helps you wind down from the day, and i woud suggest finding a counsiler you can trust and talk to them. a lot of people refuse counsiling because they dont "have a problem" of any kind, but counsiling can be for anyone with problems or not, and to be honest, it helped me a LOT!!! i got to vent my frustrations, got good advice, and looked forward to my weekly appointments because it was time for me. i wish you all the luck~~~

mrscass0416
by Silver Member on Feb. 23, 2012 at 11:38 AM
1 mom liked this
I also have been in my own since I was 18. I have family, me and NY mom were never close so as soon as I was able to move, I did. Once I became content knowing that I loved my son and he loved me unconditionally, I was okay. I had my struggles but the fact that he deserved the best from me as a mommy made the bad days better. You will be okay. Focus on you and your son and remind him of your mom and who she was and how much she loved him it will be okay. And if your family isn't crazy, Ans they are OK to be around, there is nothing wrong with seeing them or reaching out to them. They may have funny stories to tell you about your mom or crazy pics :-). It will be okay :-). Just know that if you start to hate the feeling of being alone, it will become harder. Embrace the quietness. I got so used to it being just me and my son, I lost it for a minute when I had another baby and got married. I then realized that my quiet days if being alone in my bed were over :-(. I missed the quietness so much. I have adjusted and so will you. Life constantly changes and we must adjust to those changes if we want to be OK. Good luck and enjoy your son :-).
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AlenaQueen
by on Feb. 23, 2012 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

id say invest in a body pillow they work wonders since im  a big fan of snuggling ...

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