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I don't think this is fair.

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:21 PM
  • 204 Replies

Baby #2 is due in July. My husband and I had a discussion about when the baby gets up at night and i told him hes gonna be getting up with the baby too(he never got up with our daughter when she was a baby.) This rule would basically pertain to if the baby gets up more than once each night. My husband seems to think he shouldnt get up AT ALL with the baby just because he works,no matter how much the baby wakes up. I tried to tell him that while he does work, I will be the one home all day, unable to nap because I will have a newborn that will take short naps and a 3 yr old that doesnt nap at all,therefore I need my sleep just as much as he does,so I think we should take turns at night.

His job is an alternating shift (4 days working,4 days off with working days alternating between 7am-7pm and7pm-7am every week. I understand that I really have no choice but to get up with the baby when he works nights.)

He seems to think that what he does it more important than what I do so I should be taking on all the work with the kids, along with cleaning, paying all the bills and running all the errands.

I didnt create these kids by myself and after giving birth I think the least he could do is help.

And we are using formula so there is no reason why i need to get up everytime for feedings.

Did your S/O refuse to get up with the baby at night?

Did you come to a comprimise?


EDIT: The women that seem to think i should be the only one getting up with the baby are the ones that in my opinion, dont see woman as equal to men. if you did you would think that the parenting should be shared equally. getting up with the baby is part of parenting.he works,so do i. i just dont get paid for keeping my kids taken care of and taking ALL the responsibilities for the entire household.

by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ambermarie2006
by Amber on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:23 PM
7 moms liked this

I always got up with the 3 kids. I figured that I was the one staying home caring for the kids, so thats my "job".

Hope you come up with a compromise

snb8604
by Silver Member on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this

 my husband never got up at night with our son. i was always pissed about it. i'll be damned if i go through that again when we have another kid. he will get his butt out of bed lol. i hope he helps you cuz it is very hard.

ffpm10
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:27 PM
1 mom liked this
Wow. If he's on a swing shift like that, I would never ask for that.

That's a tough schedule as it is. And, if you're a sahm, I can't see how you can justify asking him.
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mommy259
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:28 PM
1 mom liked this

During the week when DH was working I got up with our babies....On the weekends DH took turns getting up with the baby and then I got to sleep in on Saturday and he slept in on Sunday

mcr17
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:28 PM
4 moms liked this

probably because he is their father!

if he would go to bed at a reaonable time then there should be no issue

Quoting ffpm10:

Wow. If he's on a swing shift like that, I would never ask for that.

That's a tough schedule as it is. And, if you're a sahm, I can't see how you can justify asking him.


mommy259
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:30 PM

You are right he is their father, but he is all so the only one bringing in an income!!! You should get up with the babies on his days to work and on his off days you should take turns.

Quoting mcr17:

probably because he is their father!

Quoting ffpm10:

Wow. If he's on a swing shift like that, I would never ask for that.

That's a tough schedule as it is. And, if you're a sahm, I can't see how you can justify asking him.



ermka
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:31 PM
3 moms liked this
We always took turns. We had a system that kindbof unintentionally fell into place. I'm a night owl, so I'd get up any time before 3am, so he could get a few hours of good sleep (he always goes to bed around 10) anything after that, he got up if needed until he had to leave for work or until I got up.

We still do this now if for some reason one of the kiddos gets up (although now I find out he's having more fun with it, lol.. my 7 year old is playing Madden on the PlayStation @ 4am.. my 2 1/2 year old is helping daddy eat an entire box of gs cookies @ 5am)

He's always worked, I've pretty much always been a sahm. The only time things change is if one of us is feeling generous or is sick.
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mommyjenn84
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:31 PM
Nope.,ive got the boobs I get the kids. When he was home once in awhile hed bring baby to bed for me but then go to sleep. Now he works graves so itll be me no matter what. Plus im the one home all day so I can rest more than.he could working.
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adalynnsmom
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:31 PM

 Not so much with dd our oldest.  He would once a twice a week get her and change her then bring her to bed for me to nurse.  He got up more with ds though. But he is a daddy's boy, and would cry for his daddy.  I hope you come up with something that works for you guys.

HaileyInezMom
by on Feb. 26, 2012 at 12:32 PM

The only time My Dh got up with the babies was right after I had them. It was hard to move around. I think the reason he did not get up was because I was BF both of them they would not take a bottle. I would have been happy if he would change a diaper. my 2 year old is till in diapers and he has only changed her about 10 times her whole life.

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