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::Eye roll:: **Super LONG vent**

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:49 AM
  • 1 Replies

Some back story...

I have been friends with this girl since we were in first grade. We've had our ups and downs but you can't erase your childhood and we do have fun when we hang out (at least until recently). Even though we have been friends for a long time in the past few years I feel like we are competing against each other. Like she is always trying to out compete me even though I don't care. I have done exactly what I wanted to do with my life and exactly when I wanted to do. I have no regrets and I am happy with my decisions. She however is always trying to paint this picture perfect image of her life even though it is far from that.

A few years ago her now dh and her broke up over the summer. She cried the whole summer about how she was so miserable without him and how they had kids names picked out. Well she got back together with him at the end of the summer and started talking wedding plans. I was thinking wth you JUST got back together. Well then she says that she wants to get married exactly one week after me. By this time my now dh and I were ACTUALLY ENGAGED and had a date and venue picked out. I was so pissed that I told her that if she got married one week after me then I would not be going. She suggested me taking a short honeymoon or waiting to take my honeymoon...BIOTCH!!! I am actually engaged and I am NOT going to plan my honeymoon around your wedding when you aren't even engaged and JUST got back together. So she decided to get married exactly TWO weeks after me. The whole summer felt like she was always trying to compete with showers, bachleorette parties and wedding details. Again, I really don't care because I LOVED my wedding exactly how it was. My wedding was the last big event that my mother made it to because she passed away 10 weeks later so I am so happy that I was able to share it with my mom. So weddings are over and fast forward...

I knew that I wanted to have kids right away. I have always wanted to be a mom and I do love kids. I was always buying stuff for my sisters kids and couldn't wait to have my own to spend my money on my own kids...lol. Well ONE of my friends was pregnant and due in February (she got married one year before me) and we were all really excited for her. In the mean time my dh and I decide that we want to get pregnant and I took a test and it came out positive the Monday before Christmas in 2010. Well of course I don't want to tell anyone (even though I told a couple of people because I was so excited) but I did not make it a HUGE public announcement and tell both of our families. So my friend had her baby in February and I STILL did not tell everyone because it wasn't past the first trimester. Fast foward some more and my friend finds out that I am pregnant. She was in complete shock. We have a wierd relationship so she told me to take a pregnancy test, while at her house. Which I was thrilled to do because I was so happy that I was pregnant. Well immediately after I take the test she tells her dh the gloves are off. So basically it's like I get pregnant and now she has to! Fast forward to the day my son is born. Family and friends come to see the new baby and me. My friend who is always competing with me comes up with her dh and announces to me and my dh that they are pregnant (4 weeks and 5 days pregnant)...I was happy for them but at the same time worried and kind of pissed/annoyed. Happy because they're having a baby. Worried because she was telling people so soon (she told her whole family practically) and kind of pissed/annoyed because is the birth of my first child REALLY the most appropriate place to make this announcment...trying to steal some joy...because thats kind of how I felt...

Well by 8/9 weeks she ends up having a miscarriage. She has been insane since then. I completely understand that she is upset, not like I know how it feels because I have never had one, but I know that it can be upsetting. But since then she has really really been pissing me off. We have girls night once a month and she goes buck wild about this whole thing. Her and her dh are trying AGAIN and let us know every single month. In December my friend and I brought out kids to girls night and our friend who had the miscarriage was pissed. She was upset that we brought our kids because it was a planned event and we could have gotten sitters. First of all...she doesn't know that. Secondly, if your going to be a bitch then you need to realize that MY SON comes before you or anyone else in this world. I know she doesn't understand because I don't think anyone does until they have a child. But anyways I was upset because of how she looked at my son. She gave the dirtest look in my sons direction and it made me feel awful. I was seriously ready to get up and leave. The thing that really kills me is that my dh was coming to pick him up as soon as he got out of work. Well since then I feel really awkward around her. I have tried to be sensative but I am SICK of her BULLSHIT!!!

She said in December she would have found out the gender and she was extra upset. Okay I understand that and I can give you that one. But she makes everyone feel awkward about even talking about children around her. I just feel like as my friend you need to be able to talk about children because I have one. Friends usually like to talk aboiut whats current in their life and that would be my son. She doesn't interact with him the only two times that she has seen him since December....and I haven't brought him around because I don't feel comfortable with her being around him. I am just so pissed because I feel uncomfortable for something that I didn't even do.

It kills me because she's really not even ready to have a baby. She has a house in a city 1.5 hours away that she needs to sell and is currently living with her mom. She can not get another place to live in our current city until she sells her house. So basically they want to buy a new house that they really don't have the money for.

I guess I just thought that friends were supposed to be there for you...and I have tried to be there for her but I feel like she hates/dislikes/is awkward towards my son and I CAN NOT be friends with someone who has negative feelings towards my son...I know that she will get over it once she has a baby but should I have to wait until she has a kid for her to be okay with mine and to talk about babies.

This was spurred because some friends came over tonight and one friend said that we needed to change the subject to be sensative to our other friend. But my son was there in my arms, in my house...and I should stop talking about him? I'm pretty sure she can see him!

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 12:49 AM
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Mrs.Kg8500
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 1:28 AM
I would get rid of her as a friend, cause she isn't acting like your friend. Your right she sounds like you guys are competing I think its childless and pathetic. Your friend needs to get over herself. Your son comes before her npt the other way around....geez how much more sensitive do you need to be w her?
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