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She wants to live off assitance her whole life.

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:36 PM
  • 17 Replies

 My sister who will be 19 in a couple weeks and is expecting her 2nd child just told me this.

Let me give you her background. She was raped by our brother when she was 12 and it resulted in the birth of my niece. mentally my sister has always been behind a few years for her age. She just started to take care of my niece who is 6 and will 7 this year. My mom did all of the hard baby stuff. She lives with a family that uses her as "Nanny". Basically she thinks they are giving her free room and board because she watches their kids. Anyways, She is not with the father of the child she is carrying. Apparently he called her name while they were arguing and from then on she has said he was abusive. I don't know if he really was or not. I just know he was 38 and rather creepy. She hasn't finish school past 9th grade and doesn't want to even try for a GED.

i was trying to tell her that adoption was still an option today. Explaining that she will now be responsible for both children and includes getting a place to live and providing for them. She told me that she's not going to try to get a job but instead she will live of government assistance. Now she is mad at me because I said that she and her children deserve better. that she has the potential if she would just try.

She said all I try to ever do is make her cry. That I don't care about her feelings. On the contray I'm the only one who does care about her. My mother and the people whom she lives with wouldn't even take her to an appt ( because she doesn't drive). She didn't see an OB until she was 6 months along. She almost died with her daughter.

 

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
coupon_ash_back
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:38 PM


oops, I worded that weird.

I meant. I don't see how she thinks not getting a job is the better thing to do instead of putting the kid up for adoption.

Quote:

Not sure how living off the government purposely =  worse than adoption.


Wow.



MrsLLove
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:49 PM

 

Quoting coupon_ash_back:

Not sure how living off the government purposely = worse than adoption.

 

Wow.

 Honestly I don't think she really wants the baby. I think it the people who around her. They know she will get money and she is easily manipulated. They'll have access to the money.

mommy_2_be_2010
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:51 PM
Bump
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XoXo.Nikki.XoXo
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:52 PM
Wow. That's a sad situation. I have a sister who is 24 with the mentality of a 10 year old, but of course she has the body and hormones of a woman her age. She alway says she wants kids but we know she can't possibly take care of a child...she can't even take care of herself. I just hope and pray she never has a child because she will opt to keep it and it will fall on either me or my parents and my mother is too sick to care for a child. Its hard to explain to someone with a mental disability that if they cannot take care of themselves that its going to be 100 times harder to raise a child. They don't understand how complex life is and how much is involved in raising children. Hugs mama. I hope your sister makes the right choice. That's a tough situation.
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coupon_ash_back
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:52 PM

that's crazy.... I agree with you. Sounds like adoption would be the right thing to do.

Quoting MrsLLove:

 

Quoting coupon_ash_back:

Not sure how living off the government purposely = worse than adoption.


Wow.

 Honestly I don't think she really wants the baby. I think it the people who around her. They know she will get money and she is easily manipulated. They'll have access to the money.


Dinimon
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:55 PM
She should go out, get a place and make money. I don't think its a bad thing to get assistance until she can stand on her own feet. how far along is she?
From what I understand she needs to grow up. But I don't know the whole story.
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MamaHome
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:55 PM

That's tough.

Maybe this will encourage her to pursue permanent contraception.


XoXo.Nikki.XoXo
by Ruby Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:55 PM
Omg I swear you and I have the same sister minus the pregnancy. My sisters boyfriends mom wants her to move with them because the mom lost her job and knows my sister gets disability. Little do they realize a waiver was signed and my sister will lose everything and they will have to support her until she reapplies and starts getting it again, but it will be half of what she gets now. It makes me sick to see people use and manipulate mentally challenged people. Smh, its horrible.


Quoting MrsLLove:

 


Quoting coupon_ash_back:


Not sure how living off the government purposely = worse than adoption.


 


Wow.


 Honestly I don't think she really wants the baby. I think it the people who around her. They know she will get money and she is easily manipulated. They'll have access to the money.


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MrsLLove
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 5:58 PM

 

Quoting Dinimon:

She should go out, get a place and make money. I don't think its a bad thing to get assistance until she can stand on her own feet. how far along is she?
From what I understand she needs to grow up. But I don't know the whole story.

 She's due the 27th of this month. She could get a job ut she won't. I tried to help her when she still lived close to me. There was a question on the application that asked how often are you late a week. She said twice, the only time I have to go anywhere.

keriley1
by Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 6:01 PM

There is a girl who comes into my work who is about the same age and about the same mentaility who has actually had a couple kids, and when we saw her the last few months she was saying how she is going to keep this baby and no one can take it away from her (the state took her first one because of her obvious problem) and after she had the baby she just couldn't understand why they took him. It was really sad, but I felt worse for the poor baby. She said they were going to have another one and not let the state take it the third time.

Quoting XoXo.Nikki.XoXo:

Wow. That's a sad situation. I have a sister who is 24 with the mentality of a 10 year old, but of course she has the body and hormones of a woman her age. She alway says she wants kids but we know she can't possibly take care of a child...she can't even take care of herself. I just hope and pray she never has a child because she will opt to keep it and it will fall on either me or my parents and my mother is too sick to care for a child. Its hard to explain to someone with a mental disability that if they cannot take care of themselves that its going to be 100 times harder to raise a child. They don't understand how complex life is and how much is involved in raising children. Hugs mama. I hope your sister makes the right choice. That's a tough situation.


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