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I'm Not Really Sure Where To Go From Here

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:18 PM
  • 46 Replies

My SO and I discussed getting married this summer, using our tax money. He bought me a ring and all and is waiting on the right time to pop the question.

He told me the other day he's more comfortable waiting until next spring to get married and to get engaged this summer. It really upset me for a number of reasons.

We have the ability to go on a honeymoon right now, and I wanted to be pregnant next spring. That was sorta my plan, loosely. I want another kid and going on a honeymoon won't be an option if we have a baby, I'll be nursing. Our daughter is already 2 and I'm ready for another.

I had already started letting some people know we were getting married this summer. It was going to be out of state and some people had to prepare to buy plane tickets and take time off. And well, I was just excited. Now I feel pretty dumb.

The place we were going to get married, his grandparents backyard, will be wet next spring. We'd either have to wait until next summer, or do it this summer.

I explained all this too him, hesistantly, and he said maybe this August would be a better idea. He hasn't even proposed and I just feel like all the genuinity has been sucked out. I want to get married when we both want to and we're both ready. Am I being a baby?

I know some people say what's the rush if we plan on forever together but I want to be married already. We've been together for 6 years and I have a lot of social stigma attached to being an unwed stay at home mom. It sucks.

I had to tell my mom all this and of course even though I said I didn't want to talk about it, we did and she said she was just going to go ahead and plan her other vacations and if we decide on this summer after all she might not be able to make it. Thanks mom. Way to be a shoulder to lean on.

I feel like poo. 

 

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
NiCo86
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:22 PM
2 moms liked this

who the hell discusses engagement?

I suspected ... but we didn't sit around and talk about when and where he was going to propose?!?!

smh IDK what to tell ya ... *shrug* IMO if he wants to marry you, he'd give you the ring, make it "official" and then you two can start discussing dates!

What's his reservation?

KenzieQsMommy
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:23 PM

We weren't discussing the engagement we were discussing the wedding. But okay. Thanks for your input, I feel so much better now.

Quoting NiCo86:

who the hell discusses engagement?

I suspected ... but we didn't sit around and talk about when and where he was going to propose?!?!

smh IDK what to tell ya ... *shrug* IMO if he wants to marry you, he'd give you the ring, make it "official" and then you two can start discussing dates!

What's his reservation?


Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:25 PM
I totally feel your pain... I just found the perfect engagement ring and we have a plan set out for getting married and everything but I feel like he doesn't care and isn't excited. I don't want to marry someone who isn't excited to marry me... I don't know, maybe he feels like I am pushing him but it drives me nuts. He wants me to tell everyone he is my fiance but he doesn't want to propose... and that is not going to work for me.
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Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:26 PM
Also, I want him to propose in his own way, just don't expect me to tell everyone your my fiance when you not and don't seem excited at all to propose. Just saying...


Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

I totally feel your pain... I just found the perfect engagement ring and we have a plan set out for getting married and everything but I feel like he doesn't care and isn't excited. I don't want to marry someone who isn't excited to marry me... I don't know, maybe he feels like I am pushing him but it drives me nuts. He wants me to tell everyone he is my fiance but he doesn't want to propose... and that is not going to work for me.

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NiCo86
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:28 PM

This sounds like he's told you he wants to marry you, he bought you the ring, you're discussing dates, but he hasn't proposed????

That seems so backwards to me?!?! I mean, traditionally I suppose, doesn't a man buy a ring and then approach his GF in some big way and surprise her and ask her to devote the rest of her life to him and THEN they start talking about dates and all that jazz?

Quoting KenzieQsMommy:

He bought me a ring and all and is waiting on the right time to pop the question.

AmberRobandJr
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:29 PM
Idk what to say about the engagement etc but as far as the stigma fuck what other people think chic dont let that bother you. :)
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thinkpink2012
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:29 PM
If he hasn't proposed then he isn't ready to dive into that commitment. After 6 years you and him need to discuss in all seriousness where you both see this relationship bc it sounds like you're the only one dead set on getting married.
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Mommy4-27-08
by Silver Member on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:30 PM
Traditionally sure, but not everyone is traditional. Me and my fiance aren't at all and were fine with it. Besides, that is like saying you shouldn't have sex before marriage traditionally...


Quoting NiCo86:

This sounds like he's told you he wants to marry you, he bought you the ring, you're discussing dates, but he hasn't proposed????

That seems so backwards to me?!?! I mean, traditionally I suppose, doesn't a man buy a ring and then approach his GF in some big way and surprise her and ask her to devote the rest of her life to him and THEN they start talking about dates and all that jazz?

Quoting KenzieQsMommy:

He bought me a ring and all and is waiting on the right time to pop the question.


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MamaLub
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
Just wait. You don't want to feel like you pushed him. Honestly. I just got married after five years and a two year old. We now have a son on the way. If its meant to be just let it happen. In the end your marriage won't be affected by what others think.
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KenzieQsMommy
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:33 PM

My SO wants to propose in his own way and says he's excited for that part. But he doesn't seem to grasp that weddings take time and even more money.  The planning and the prep and all that. And people, including him, need to get time off and its out of state which further complicates it. If he wanted to wait until next spring I wish I knew before I got excited about this summer.

Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

Also, I want him to propose in his own way, just don't expect me to tell everyone your my fiance when you not and don't seem excited at all to propose. Just saying...


Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

I totally feel your pain... I just found the perfect engagement ring and we have a plan set out for getting married and everything but I feel like he doesn't care and isn't excited. I don't want to marry someone who isn't excited to marry me... I don't know, maybe he feels like I am pushing him but it drives me nuts. He wants me to tell everyone he is my fiance but he doesn't want to propose... and that is not going to work for me.


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