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UGH my lsdjdks mother in law

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:17 AM
  • 30 Replies
My mil is really bothering me.

Here's a backstory...at my baby shower for my son, my mother in law got us hundreds of dollars worth of baby toys and clothes....and she wrapped EVERYTHING individually. One onsie was in one wrapped box. It took us two and a half hrs to open the gifts. It was humiliating. She tries to outdo everyone else.

Well today I just found out about all the gifts she got my son for easter. He is 15 months. A step two tool bench, a long sprinkler system got the backyard, a pooh rocking horse and ten books... This is NOT Christmas. I know it's her first grandbaby but seriously, I can't have her doing that when I can only afford to do dollar store easter basket stuff, and the rest of our parents aren't doing anything.

This year isn't a big deal because he doesn't understand but do you think I am out of line to ask her to stop when he's older? I don't want him to expect huge presents like that from people at Easter...and it's not fair that she gets him bigger stuff than my hub and I are able to....she's already planning to buy him a bike. I want to buy him a bike! He's my son.

Am I wrong??
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by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
t1gger143
by Katie on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:21 AM
That's how my grandma was and honestly I loved it and still do.
RoxyJI
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:22 AM
1 mom liked this
Do we have the same mil?

I just bluntly had to tell her BACK OFF
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Sarakathleen
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:28 AM
3 moms liked this
Imo you and your dh need to decide a game plan together then sit down and talk to her about it. Coming at it from a calm view point- we understand this is your first and appreciate what you have done, but we don't want our child to be exposed to such excess. We love that you want to spoil them, but lets keep it to a reasonable amount of -insert here- and of course all presents need to be approved by us first because some things we want the chance to him ourselves.. She may just be over excited and doesn't realize its bothering you. Just be honest and up front. Give her other suggestions for gifts like time spent together or special trips to the park or play areas instead of stuff. Hope it works out!
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moosesmom
by Silver Member on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this
You're not wrong but...

Like you said its her first grandbaby. Let her do it. It won't kill anyone. The most it's doing is annoying you. Let her enjoy this. Her son is grown and has a family of his own. Now there's new life, she wants to care for and spoil someone again. It's up to you to remind/teach your son that the material gifts should not always be expected nor are they important. As for the bike and other big items. Tell her that it would mean a lot if you gave YOUR son those types of gifts. Get together ahead of time compare birthday/Christmas/Easter gifts and pick out the gifts that are important to you (that would mean a lot coming from mom and dad). Be honest with her. But let her be for the most part an over the top but very loving grandma...it could be worse :-)
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Jenny_Penny89
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:34 AM


Quoting moosesmom:

You're not wrong but...

Like you said its her first grandbaby. Let her do it. It won't kill anyone. The most it's doing is annoying you. Let her enjoy this. Her son is grown and has a family of his own. Now there's new life, she wants to care for and spoil someone again. It's up to you to remind/teach your son that the material gifts should not always be expected nor are they important. As for the bike and other big items. Tell her that it would mean a lot if you gave YOUR son those types of gifts. Get together ahead of time compare birthday/Christmas/Easter gifts and pick out the gifts that are important to you (that would mean a lot coming from mom and dad). Be honest with her. But let her be for the most part an over the top but very loving grandma...it could be worse :-)


kenziesmom809
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 12:38 AM
Seriously me too

Quoting RoxyJI:

Do we have the same mil?



I just bluntly had to tell her BACK OFF
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MedicMommy2
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 1:26 AM

I think you may be looking at this all wrong. My parents do the same for our kids...because we cannot. They also write from mom and dad on stuff that they get them that we had wanted to get but could not afford. My kids appreciate everything they get and at 5 and 2 they do not expect anything. My parents (mom) have a habit of shoping for the kids all the time, and thats ok. Why get stressed out over things that you cannot control? There are times that I tell my parents not to buy certain things just because we don't have room or I don't like it but I always give them other options.

sreichelt26
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 2:42 AM
Same here, but with dh's parents. His mom and step mom both have money and spoil dd rotten. She's the first grandbaby. His stepmom stopped by the other day with 4 outfits and 7 pairs of shoes (she's 11 months) because she already has a ton of stuff for easter and her birthday already. They always ask before getting toys and big things, but they definitely buy her more than she needs. And we can't afford to get her much.

I look at it as a blessing. I've only needed to buy dd pajamas so far - all her clothes have been handmedowns or what grandmas bought. Most of her books and toys have come from them too. Who cares where it comes from? I love knowing my dd has clothes and toys and books because if it was up to us, she wouldn't have half of what she does. It's a huge relief.


Quoting MedicMommy2:

I think you may be looking at this all wrong. My parents do the same for our kids...because we cannot. They also write from mom and dad on stuff that they get them that we had wanted to get but could not afford. My kids appreciate everything they get and at 5 and 2 they do not expect anything. My parents (mom) have a habit of shoping for the kids all the time, and thats ok. Why get stressed out over things that you cannot control? There are times that I tell my parents not to buy certain things just because we don't have room or I don't like it but I always give them other options.

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white_wolf454
by Member on Apr. 8, 2012 at 2:46 AM
1 mom liked this

can i barrow your mom in law ?

Deedah86
by on Apr. 8, 2012 at 10:13 AM
Keep her.

Quoting white_wolf454:

can i barrow your mom in law ?

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